My ex had a threesome on me
Hey all, I’ve been a long time lurker on Reddit and I genuinely need some advice on what to do. Edit; all context for the story will be in parentheses.
Context for the story to help later:
My ex and I met as kids at sleep away camp. A friend I had known for a while introduced me to (I’ll call him Samson) for the first time. We had amazing chemistry but at the time I thought he was my best friend lmao. I couldn’t read social cues due to me having autism and adhd. He asked me out and we dated on and off from 7th grade to the 11th grade. We both “wanted” to see other people and since I was going off to college soon we both agreed it was the right choice. Fast forward six years, I out with my friends in a comic book store we just walked into on a whim and there he was. We got back on contact and immediately picked up where we left off.
Now, back to the present; we dated for three years in that time the following things happened:
(To preface he was/is deeply insecure)
During the first year of us dating (I was dealing with a very abusive ex that literally would not leave me alone. To make a longer story for a different post short I had to get an order of protection against him to get him to stop harassing me, the same ex abused me to the point I have PTSD), we were doing really well, going out on dates, the usual honeymoon phase type stuff and I assumed we were in a good place. Unfortunately, that did not last long during a normal visit to his house. I agreed to ride along with him to class due to him, taking midterms till he would be out of class within an hour, and we’d go on a date. We were smoking weed together and catching up on what we did during the week before we saw each other. He then stops and asked me a series of questions that at first I assumed were just out of curiosity, but then I realized that he was asking more direct and confrontational questions. He basically backed me into a corner and started interrogating me about what I did when we were together for those six years to the point where he basically backed me into a corner in order for me to answer a questions brought me back to a very specific argument that I confided into him about. ( my ex would literally interrogate me for hours to the point where he would deprive me of food and water and sleep in order for me to answer “correctly”. This was a common occurrence that sometimes would turn into physical abuse or SA). He became belligerently angry with me for the first time with me. So much so that I immediately went to cover my face to protect myself. We were ended up going on a break for month and he ended up cheating on me with two girls that I never even met. He waited until after thanksgiving, Christmas, our anniversary, and Valentine’s Day until he finally “broke” two days before the surprise party I was throwing for him. I completely lost all feelings for him after he told me and I was waiting for a time to break it off. That would be convenient to me the same way him telling it was convenient for him, but his grandmother died literally a month after he told me. His parents who loved me and didn’t know that this happened bought me a ticket and before even asking me and invited me to the funeral to sit in the first row with the entire family, I had to sit at the front of the church and lie to all of those people that I was so in love with him. I stayed for the year, even though I know I shouldn’t have. Because he was my oldest friend, and I felt bad for him for losing basically, the woman that raised him.
The reason we broke up was because he completely kept undermining me. Projecting and accusing me thinking about or wanting to cheat back in a sense. i do not cheat EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I have never had a desire to step out on anyone that I have been with and** I do not plan on doing that anytime soon.** He became so paranoid and he began to exhibit behaviors that my ex exhibit like isolating me from my friends constantly asking me where I was and what I was doing texting me throughout the day staying on the phone all night and go to the point that when we went on vacation with my family he complained about everything I wanted to do but whatever he wanted to do he was as happy can be.
Now there is context;
The thing that I have been getting so pissed about recently is the fact that too many people are telling to forgive him. Not just for him but for myself. Saying he was going through alot and was not thinking straight. To just let it go because he loved you enough to tell you. But here’s the thing I didn’t do anything to him to deserve this. I did everything he asked me to do with a smile on my face and he still stepped out on me and lied to me for 4 1/2 months buying me flowers taking me on dates spending hundreds of dollars on me all the while, knowing that he did this and keeping this for me.
I genuinely need to know if I’m losing my mind or not do I have to forgive him in order to heal properly? Do I have to just let this go so I can move on with my life or do I have a right to be angry?
Edit; I will be open to answering any questions in the comments with more context that I couldn’t include in this post. Yes, this is real. This is my life. No, I am not going to name names because I do not have the patience to deal with that right now.