I Wanna Be With You In All Seasons Even As A Friend
January 3, 2026 could’ve been a normal day for me. Like usual, I was enjoying playing mobile legend, trying to master the hero Floryn. I was stressed out for having teammates that have no proper teamwork. Then, suddenly Ling came. You chased me. You seemed to like my hero that you found me wherever I hid. I didn’t even know that there was Ling in the enemy line-up.
I lost patience and chatted ‘Ano ba, Ling’
You replied, enjoying my reaction. I tried to hide again until you found me. Again.
I tried to fight, but your hero was an assassin. I gave in and you realized I wasn’t fighting. You chatted ‘Ano na? Alis na.’
I just frowned and chatted ‘Sige na. Sayo na buhay ko.’
And when you saw my chat, you replied ‘wow’ and you instantly left. I guess you didn’t find it interesting that I gave in without a fight.
My annoyance instantly disappeared, thinking maybe you weren’t bad at all.
Then after the game you followed me and chatted with me.
You introduced yourself as ‘Ako yung Ling.’ At the same time I said ‘Ikaw yung makulit na Ling.’
I laughed because that very short introduction made me happy.
Then days passed. You were always there to invite me. You were always there to make me happy. To chat with me. To play with me.
My boring gaming experience changed. You promised to help me rank up. And you did carry me to my first mythic on our first season together.
At first, we talked everyday until only 10 PM. Then, our routine changed when we started getting so comfortable with each other. We started talking until 2 AM, and sometimes we even reached 3 AM.
We were teasing each other. Pranking each other. We shared laughter. We shared joy. We shared defeats. We shared victories. You never blame me. You never left me even after a losestreak.
And that’s when I realized that you’re different from other boys, from other players I’ve met and played with.
You said I was your lucky charm. You like talking to me. You like making me happy. I felt it. I felt your sincerity. I felt your heart whenever you said sweet words to me.
You did not ask for my personal information and neither did it. You did not ask for my social media account and neither did I. We just talked in the ML lobby and I enjoyed your presence. So much.
We enjoyed each other’s company. There were kulitan, kilig, simple arguments, tampuhan. But at the end of the day we always reach out to each other to apologize and make up for the lost time.
I’ve realized that the connection between us has deepened too much. Right, we always talked about our connections.
You were the first person to understand me. You were the first person who saw through my truth and lies. You were the first person who saw through my soul.
Can you imagine that? We were only chatting, but you managed to get into my world. I got so attached to you.
It’s just like…parang tayo pero hindi.
Then, in our third month I told you that I like you. After a few weeks, you admitted to me that you liked me in our first weeks, but you chose to suppress and forget your feelings because you realized that our age does not match.
I’m older than you. Probably a nine year gap.
I was sad. I cried and I told you that. You told me you shed tears with me that night because you felt my pain. I even thought we cried together because you were too softhearted. We both thought it was such a waste. You said…only if I liked you early.
It was hard. It was painful. For me it was so painful that you were too quick to forget your feelings just because I’m older. But I understand because you were too young to handle emotions and situations like this. This was your first time. You were not ready to commit and I won’t allow you to experience hardship being with someone too old for you.
I called you my ‘kamahalan’ at first because you were bossy. We teased each other and that kamahalan became ‘mahalan’.
We teased each other saying maybe we can upgrade that to ‘mahal’ but there’s always a ‘but’ because of our age gap.
Mahalan, my favorite duo, my favorite person in the whole MLBB world. I tried so hard to suppress my feelings for you and hide my jealousy whenever you played with your female friend, who you said you had shared conversations with in the past.
Remember when I told you I shared almost all of my first in ML with you?
My first mythic, my kaharutan, my first mahalan, my first kakulitan, my first rose affinity partner even if it was just a dare, my first partner in pranking our in-game friends. You were also my first crush in this game and I guess you were also my first heartbreak.
But it was fine as long as you’re with me. I can endure rather than see a wasted friendship.
May 3, 2026 when everything between us started falling apart. It was our 4th month as a duo.
My jealousy slipped almost all the time. I couldn’t control it, so I tried to control you.
I wanted you to spend all your time with me. Selfishly. I wanted you to only talk and play with me. I wanted you for myself that I forgot it was also hard for you.
I felt it, the changes in you. You were having a hard time handling me and my emotions because you don’t want me to get hurt.
You tried so hard to not make me feel the problem. I felt your effort. I felt how you value our friendship. I also felt that you were starting to drift apart already, but I ignored the signs, thinking you promised and you won’t break your promise that you will never leave me.
We still talk, but only at night and we barely spend the whole night together until we fall asleep like before because you were always getting ‘kidnapped’ by your female friend at midnight.
I endured. We both endured while talking about my own jealousy, not realizing you were suffering from my pain that I was sharing with you.
May 9, 2026 at 1 AM was our last match together. We played even though we're not on good terms because I was hurting that time, and I know you were confused and guilty.
I told you ‘nakakatakot ang salita mo’
I told you ‘dapat hindi ako naniwala sa pangako mo’
I told you ‘umiiyak ako’. Just so I could force you out of her lobby. Because you couldn’t bear to hear that I was crying because of you. Because your soft heart couldn’t take it.
I did pull you out of her lobby, but I did not succeed because that was the time I realized you’ve had enough of my unreasonable demands and jealousy.
But I fought even when it was killing me inside.
God knows how much I wanted to keep the friendship and connections we shared. So, I did everything. I apologized. I chased you down. I begged you. I sent you countless messages on your two accounts. I bombarded you with messages knowing you were having a hard time figuring out what to do because you don’t want me getting hurt but you were helpless.
The night of May 9, 2026 was the most painful night of my life. We chatted so briefly and you coldly told me you have to stay away from me because I was hurting, and I know you were so guilty about it.
I was wrong. So wrong. I said so many painful words to you, not realizing I was being too much on your soft heart. I made you feel my pain, ignoring your pain. I made you feel guilty, ignoring the things I should feel guilty about.
I tried to fight for us. I said I couldn’t let you go just yet, but you said your phone was low on battery and you said bye. You escaped because I refused to let you go.
My heart bled, but once again I sent you messages. I was crying and breaking. I was so desperate but I know I was really fighting for our friendship, for our memories.
I don’t want you to disappear. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to lose someone I started a friendship with because before I loved you, you were my friend first.
May 9, 2026 at night, I waited for you. I waited until midnight. I kept on logging in and out waiting for you.
Then, I saw you online at 11:30 PM playing with her again.
I stayed, telling myself it was fine. I just needed to talk to you. I just needed to make sure you won’t unfollow me and waste our 1844 familiarity.
You promised, we promised that we will never waste that kind of deep friendship and connection.
So, I fought for us. Again even with my tired and breaking heart.
I tried to steal you from her at 1 AM, but you logged out.
I slept, accepting my defeat. Then, I dreamed of you. You came back for me.
So the next morning, I logged in early and saw your messages. You logged in again at 1:40 AM.
You said you’re okay. You said you were sorry for making me wait. You said you won’t ignore me again. I know you wouldn’t. I replied and apologized to you for what I've done.
May 10, 2026, I waited for you all day. At 5:36 PM, I saw you online. I didn’t know what to do. I was panicking. I was scared. I was about to invite you, but you logged out again. Maybe you felt the same way. Maybe you were too scared to know how much I got hurt.
I was hurt, yes. But I chatted asking if I may invite you. I explained I couldn’t invite you immediately because I was shy and I didn’t know how to talk to you.
So, I waited again while writing this, hoping you’d come back because you said you’re okay now and that you won’t ignore me again.
I was hoping. I keep on hoping. I keep on praying. I keep on begging to God.
Because no, I don’t want this friendship to end just like this. Just because I didn’t prioritize my limitations. Just because I pressured you to spend all your time with me.
So, I will wait even if I have to stay all night again just to talk to you. Because we promised, right? That we will be together in all seasons, and I was desperately hoping we’d reach the end of this season together just like before.
My mahalan. My March Pisces. This is your Cancer. I really think you’re my soulmate. My soul friend. I don’t wanna lose you. Please remember our promise.