1 week taper and had to back track
I have been using kratom powder on and off for 10 years. Three years ago I decided to quit drinking (I drank a lot) and used kratom morning through night every day. The first couple years I felt amazing like my life was finally on the right track. Then somehow 15 gpd turned into 20, then 30, and some nights I just keep taking up to 40gpd. I finally had enough and I wanted to quit. Two weeks ago I started a hard limit of 25 grams per day. So far so good. Maybe a few nights with crappy sleep but no withdrawal. Then an old flame came back into my life and I knew she would not like me using this. I figured I could stop quickly like I used to. I quit several times before cold turkey and it was nothing. 4 days ago I went down to 15 grams per day and immediately got hit with rough withdrawals. I haven't slept for more than a couple hours. I'm wearing sweatshirts at work because I am freezing and it's 95 out. I have zero energy, no appetite, guys are staring at me at work wondering what is wrong with me. I manage a store for a big company and I worry about getting fired. I came home today and took 5 grams which will put me at 20 today with my night dose and I feel so defeated. I thought I could power through it. I am thinking I should have tapered from 25 much more slowly. I am not giving up, but I think I should go back up to 20 and taper much slower. I am just looking for some advice and encouragement. Am I a huge dumbass? Was I almost in the clear at 15 gpd and would have felt back to normal after a couple more days? I can't believe I am this hooked on kratom leaf alone. I rarely took extracts and never tried 7-OH. I