I hate the phrase “don’t be afraid to ask for help”
To me asking for help is the hardest thing for me to do. I’m not talking about small things, but even then I don’t really ask for help with small tasks either. Right now, I (F22) am in grad school and I’ve been going through a lot of family and financial issues. So, my grades are slipping and my advisors and professors keep saying “it’s always better to reach out earlier for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.” I hate that, because to them it’s seems like a simple thing to do. However, I’ve grown up being asked to help others all the time to the point where it seems pointless to ask for help on my end. Specifically, the few times I’ve asked for help it’s either been dismissed or a limited time offer. It took a long time to see mental help through therapy only for it to no longer be available financially. My parents have known this and keep hinting at me seeking help again, but what’s the point if I can afford it or have to start the process all over again. I just hate how everyone in my life seems to always reach out to me first, but it’s not reciprocated. From family to friends, it seems that I can’t get help but everyone can. So, I get stuck in situations like this, where my grades are slipping, and it’s easier to try and struggle and power through it than ask for help.
I know I’m not be the only person who feels like this, but how do you ask for help without feeling like I’m running in a circle. I’ve tried to explain this feeling once to my close friends and it didn’t click with them since they feel bad that I can’t go to them for help. My mom is the same way. It’s not that all of it’s on them, but it kinda is. Like they’ll ask for examples and then feel bad for themselves and now it’s a me comforting them situation instead of the other way around.