Struggling with Self Hate (NSFW)
Hi everyone,
I'm writing this because it's been really hard for me to talk about my trauma, and lately I've even struggled to trust myself enough to open up to friends.
I've been dealing with intense self-hatred and emotional spiraling for a long time, and it's been exhausting. About a week ago, I had an experience that made me realize how much deep shame I've been carrying from my past. Since then, I've been trying to work through it, but a small, unintentional comment from a friend recently touched one of my biggest insecurities and brought a lot of those feelings back.
I grew up with extremely controlling parents and was taught beliefs and behaviors that I've had to unlearn as an adult. Even though I'm trying to change, I still struggle with overwhelming self-hatred whenever I'm triggered. Sometimes those moments become so intense that I start having thoughts that life isn't worth living, and that really scares me.
Has anyone else experienced something similar while working through trauma? How did you learn to quiet that inner voice that constantly blames and hates you?