Betrayal- How to move on?
For over 10 years I (24M) had one very close friend (24M) and some acquaintances but that's about it. I've always struggled to be friends with people, other men in particular, but this particular friend and I seemed to get along very well, or atleast that's what I thought.
About 4 years ago, we moved in together. We spent a lot of time together, talking in the apartment, going to bars and parties, getting high playing games and generally supporting each other when things got rough. In this time I felt him and I became very close and I considered him to be like a brother.
I moved out last year into my own place and he started acting very different. He stopped talking to me as much over text, he stopped hanging out with me and generally whenever I asked him about this he would avoid the issue the best he could.
Eventually after months of pleading with him to tell me what's going on, he finally revealed to me that he did not actually want to spend as much time together as we had and that he's "really bad at setting boundaries and just wanted to sweep the issue under the rug".
Essentially, he had hoped that once I moved out that I would just stop talking to him naturally and that the friendship would end without a confrontation. He didn't consider me a brother or even a close friend.
To say this hurts is an understatement. All of this was revealed about 3 months ago, and the pain and anger I feel is still incredibly fresh. I hate him so much for doing this to me. Over 10 years of constant talking, constant hangouts, a tremendous amount of cherished memories put into the garbage disposal.
I never used to be bothered by my lack of friends because I always told myself "Atleast I have one really great friend who likes me." Now I have none, and I feel as though I don't ever want to have a "friend" again. I loved him like a brother and he just saw me as an annoyance. I wish we had never moved in together, maybe we would still be close friends.
How do I move past this? This hurts more than any breakup I've ever gone through. I miss him and the times we spent together but I also feel gross because I now see those "good times" as being very much one way experiences. I feel miserable and bitter. I feel so much anger and sadness towards him. I miss him.