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u/Creepypastaexploring

▲ 8 r/Therian

I feel like I'm gaslighting myself.

I started off as a therian in July 2023. Immediately dove into quads, masks, tails, vocals, the whole shebang. As the years progressed, my interest in doing those things slowly decreased and now I only do them sparsely. I also rarely have shifts, and when I do they're completely voluntary. I have phantom shifts a little more often, mostly muzzle and tail. I see other therians online saying that every day, when they look in the mirror, they expect to see their theriotype standing there, and they're surprised when it's a human, and that they had constant phantom shifts and very common mental shifts. (Animal mind) Very rarely do I get species dysphoria/hate being a therian as well, even when people online say therians get that a lot.

I started forcing myself to do those things, just so I felt "more therian". But it feels fake. Yes, I still identify as an animal, and yes, I am a therian. But I feel a lot of FOMO, and I feel like I'm gaslighting myself.

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u/Creepypastaexploring — 2 days ago
▲ 186 r/Horses

My first saddle!!

For context, I got this saddle completely free from my volunteer stable! I was working my evening shift on Saturday, and during my 25-30 minute downtime between mucking and giving out hay bags, I found three saddles stacked on top of each other on a sawhorse. They were in the corner of the wash stall,(which we use for storage, we bathe the horses outside), just overall dusty and beat-up. From what I know, someone "bought" all three of them, but never paid and never came to pick them up. I asked my shift manager if it was okay for me to clean them, she said yes. So I started.

The one on top was the General purpose saddle, the one I have now. I gave it a thorough cleaning with dawn soap and hose water. (We didn't have saddle soap at that moment) It shined. I was very proud of myself, and moved on to the other two saddles, the dressage saddle and the jumping saddle. Once I was done cleaning​ them, I inquired to my shift manager about how much they wanted for at least one of the saddles, she didn't know, so she texted the barn manager. The barn manager is a good friend of mine, keep in mind. She said to just take which one you want.

I was ecstatic because I had never gotten the chance to have a saddle, let alone a specifically English one. I happily took it, thanking my shift manager and texting the barn manager "thank you" as I rode in the car with my mom. I took it home and cleaned it even more, getting into the nooks and crevices. I had to use so many paper towels that night lol. I told my mom "It's the biggest step towards getting a horse I have ever experienced."

It did have damage though that wasn't ​cosmetic. The knee pads (or whatever they're called) were ripped along the edge. (They're made of rough suede/roughout leather) I sewed up one rip, but still have one to go.

I now see the saddle as a symbol of hope for the future ane perseverance. :)

u/Creepypastaexploring — 11 days ago