u/CremePleasant5800

I am a long time lurker and I used to contribute here last year. This is a bit of love to ForestRiver2, you’re a great guy man, always willing to help others despite struggling yourself. Just want to say thanks for being a cornerstone of the sub, all the best to you!

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I have magical thinking OCD. my OCD is this, if I see something that triggers me, I have to do a rumination/compulsion to metaphorically “cleanse it away”

I have gotten better this year but these past two days, I have given into them. I am ashamed.

After much insight

-Our thoughts have very very little impact on the world. The world will rain even if we do every compulsion not to let it rain. We cannot control the world, or the randomness/coincidences it brings.

-We can choose our emotional responses, and to act with dignity. Failing today was undignified. I am ashamed. But the situation that triggered me made me two choose two options, one that was dignified and to ignore the compulsion and one that wasn’t was forced to do the compulsion. I don’t know why I choose the undignified one, but I am resolute not to let this effect me for the rest of this month

- We cannot control the world, we can choose our reaction to it. The mountain does not control the storms, the storm hits the mountain, but the mountain does not react, it is still and lets the storm pass. Our thoughts are the storm, but we who see the thoughts, that part of us is the mountain.

we have two side, the one that thinks, and the one that sees what we think. We are witnessing our thoughts, but we don’t have to do anything, we can witness it, and watch it, it will be uncomfortable but it will not change what the world will do.

I’m from North West London and we have a person who is known by eveeryone here as the “jumper guy”. He’s a guy who will be wearing 30 jumpers no matter the occasion. also wears a helmet and an American and UK flag.

The worst I saw was last year in Camden when it was 40 degrees and low and behold jumper guy is there in his 20 or so jumpers… I know something isn’t alright with him but hes iconic. wondering any fellow Londoners have iconic people in their community that everyone knows

Hi guys,

I’ll try to keep this as simple and condensed at possible. I have never been terribly good at being socially open, honest. Ever since a young age, I suffered from social anxiety, I didn’t have much success at all with the opposite gender. Fast forward to my early 20’s and I am facing a crisis. I only had one friend (who I no longer speak to), and I am genuinely distrustful of other people. However I suffer from loneliness, so I try to find a partner. I have been on dating apps for 6-8 years by this point and till this day I have only managed to find one partner. That relationship was a disaster, I was cheated on twice, I accepted her back both times, but I stayed with her despite me not being comfortable with some of her lifestyle choices (but I realise that you date the person for them). It means I was always open to keeping my options open. She however was the same as in we both were lonely individuals that did not have friends.

In the past year or so, I have had much much success matching with people on dating apps. The thing is, nothing ever materialises into dates, and when they do, girls eventually just turn me down. The main reason I think it is probably because I am slightly on the spectrum, I don’t really have real ‘status’, and I think for some reason my personality might be slightly too feminine for them, so it’s a really weird mix (I am very empathetic and quite sensitive). I have been talking to one girl for 2 weeks now and we were meant to go on a date tomorrow, but in the past two/three days she’s been having cold feet.

I think the issue might be a combination of things, I don’t have much interests (believe me I’ve tried to build interests, and interests I’m interested in no-one else is),  I have a really nervous personality, as in I laugh awkwardly, I blurt out things too quickly (adhd), and I’m not ‘chill’. I’m very neurotic to be honest

 I don’t know, but as I’m in the my late twenties, and after matching with maybe over a 100+ or so people in the last 6 months, with nothing materialising, I know it’s probably my awkward personality that’s the problem. I don’t really want to play games, but I reply a bit quickly, and bit too overly reactive, for example I use emojis quite a lot. Is being too overly expressive a turn off? I don’t know. 

I know what I have written is a huge jumble of a mess but if any insights could be provided I’d be greatful! 

hi guys,

I have an iPhone 12 which has used 108GB of its 120GB data. This is mainly pictures and WhatsApp.

i am not a tech savvy person, I will be going to an iPhone SE because I like the look of the phone and a phone like that might provide me with a much minimalist use case. anyhows, I need to back up my files and such on my iPhone 12, this includes my personal files, books etc. How would I do this, whats the easiest way?

im not going to load my photos on the iPhone SE, I’ll use that just for WhatsApp and everyday use, but is it. atleast possible to transfer WhatsApp chats between phones, and then save the rest of the files of my phone onto iCloud or something? I will buy extra storage if need be.

kind regards

Hi guys

I have been on a dating app since January. I haven’t had much luck on it I’m afraid, despite the fact that I match with a lot of people, my ability to preserve a conversation is terrible.

I am a bit of an eccentric person so I guess this probably feens off normal people, but there’s a person I’ve been speaking to for two weeks and we an upcoming date. the issue is we’ve been texting back and forth and now I’m getting worried the conversation is getting a bit dead and I can’t light a spark.

I’ll be real, I have horrible game/ social skills. I have come to peace with the fact that I am a loner but of course being a loner means that I lack social development. this girl is really cool and I want to keep things interesting, but my only hobbies are reading and such. I don’t want this to end badly

also bonus question, but said person has always loved the theatre, I found this out by texting her, so for my first date idea I have booked a theatre. I’m keeping it a surprise, was this a good decision?

thank you

For context, I am 27 moving towards the age of 30. At this stage of my life I thought I would have settled down, had a wife or a long term partner and some stability in my life.

This as you can imagine, was not the case. I believe I have personality defects that might be reflected outwardly. In essence, I am not masculine/emotionally stable enough. 

I am heavily neurotic, my past relationships with my one and only ex was a disaster, I got cheated on twice, accepted her back, lied to myself numerous times about how it could work. I was always highly sensitive to her needs and stuff but yeah I was stupid.

I find it hard to connect with other guys authentically, I’ve worked around rich classy guys who just look down on me, I’ve worked with traditional brutes who see my as a wimp, and average guys are just totally disconnected for me.

I know people say pick up a hobby and whatnot, I have no time. I work two jobs, one 9-5 and the other in a bread packing site in the evening. Also I don’t think hobbies will help me reach an internal state of masculine bliss. I thought maybe by having two jobs I could prove I was hard working, a soldier type of mentality , but of course that did not happen. 

I am hardworking and maybe have the work ethic of a soldier but my mental turmoil still persists, I am weak and cowardly, I have no force to push me towards advancement in my life. I have money, I have a place, but this does nothing for me as a person.

I’m starting to question, whether some guys are just genetically born to be highly masculine, and whether it is something that I will always lack. My experience with my ex and then subsequent attempts at dating and trying to find a partner on dating sites has shown me that I don’t really command respect from anyone.

I have an ideal in my mind about being a sophisticated gentleman, but all ideals in my mind are stupid, and to be honest are just a mask to who I truly am. The true me is a guy afraid, passive and docile

Hi guys

My iPhone 12 is on its last leg so I need a new phone to compensate. I unfortunately am not a tech smart person so I will be seeking recommendations.

requirements:

- Need to back up all the data from my iPhone (including document files)

- Good photos

- Needs to last me a few years (considering updates and performance

Im hoping to go as cheap as a possible but Ideally it would be brand new. Im from the UK

For me it’s got to be Cucurella. He seemed so aggrevating 4 years ago, but his recent performances have been nothing short of class. I just found out about his family and it just adds to my admiration of the man

Catholicism is a very interesting faith indeed, Im really curious about how

a) The English Catholics reacted after the the Elizabethan period

b) What is the current day English Catholic practice like, is it still a thing in the north of England?

c) Did English Catholics traditionally have solidarity with other Catholics? For example, when the Spanish - American war occurred in the 1800s, Irish American joined the Spanish efforts rather than the American! (Although one could argue this was due to protestant discrimination), Irish Americans and even German Catholic American if I remember correctly had their own brigades in Mexico, did the English Catholics ever have this trans-national solidarity with other Catholics?

Short story. Im27 I had my first relationship at the age of 25. I was lonely my whole life so I let this person walk all over me. It ended up with her cheating on me with the equivalent of a “f**kboy”. the worst part is I did so much for her, sigh. I guess nice guys do finish last, although it didn’t start my villain arc

in general im a pretty lonely figure, I don’t really have many friends, no real guy friends. with the women I ended being with, I always become neurotic and cry a bit. I cried a lot with my ex over the situations that were endured. I then met another lady felt so sad for her and cried on our first date.

I don’t really feel in touch with my masculine sode. maybe I need some jungian therapy, examine my testosterone (I suspect is very low as I display all the signs on low t) or something else, I really don’t know. I had a painful childhood and always possessed a sensitive disposition

my only hobbies are work and reading. seriously. I guess Reddit might say it’s okay be who you u are, but that being said I don’t know what I am..

Its not just potential partners that I lack respect from, I lack respect from my colleagues, my family and to be honest i lack respect even for myself.

the reason I ask on Jung is because I have been reading Hesse’s book, and thought maybe if I got to know myself it might help

I had a friend once who I worked with at a warehouse. Whilst doing backbreaking work, day in day out, I asked him how does he do it? He told me that his philosophy in life is

“I’ll sleep when Im dead”

I don’t work at a warehouse anymore, and I have a mentally intensive role. My attention to detail and general understanding of the work is constantly challenged as I struggle to focus, in meetings, in training etc.

I have decided to try a new approach: Work as much as I can, no matter how tired I am, essentially depleting the daily mental energy I have day in day. In the long run would this not make me mentally stronger, and also I guess the added benefit is that I will definitely be learning a lot through this approach.

for context, I am not a techy person at all, but my iPhone 12 is on its last legs after numerous battery and screen replacements. I try to preserve the phone as much as I possibly can, and I bought this new for £649.

I want to buy an iPhone 15. I would like it to have an excellent battery health, but I don’t trust online sellers. Is it a bad idea to buy it completely new considering I buy phones every 5 years or so?

TRIH is by far my favourite podcast, but by thats it large part thanks to Dom and Tom. I actually find their historical banter absolutely hilarious and find my self howling at work when they compare Tom to warlord or something 😂😂😂😂. they are probably my favourite non comedic comedians

inspired by the thread by drmartens111, curious to see if anyone did the reverse, if so why, and do you regret it?

my first job was a corporate job, I left it as I hated being in front of a screen was left jobless for a year. I found a job at a warehouse but after two years I discovered it wasn’t for me. I went back to corporate life

im in my late 20s. my childhood was traumatic and both my father suffered heavily from depression but never sought help nor did he heal. it seeped into every thing he did. I went through this with him, and my life was dysfunctional

im in my late 20s. I am very social awkward, i lack trust in people, i struggle forming relationships, all the relationships I’ve ever been in I’ve been cheated on, or was second choice. I’m constantly trying to battle myself to improve but my life is so unfulfilling and depressing that my only friend is my ex who betrayed me.

I know I sound pathetic, I don’t know how to fix myself. is there any books i can read about life? I don’t find generic self help books interesting. sorry for being so vague

I know a baker who I would say is very intelligent, he never had the chance to go to university or study much but I would say that I would not be surprised if he would be a doctor or something extremely prestigious if he had the chance, but on the surface he does seem like a normal person.

do you guys know of any highly intelligent people who are live lives that do not correspond?