My M29 BF is worried about our future before I F27 go to med school
Hello, so for context I partner and I have been together for almost 4 years and are looking to get engaged here soon.
Here's the summary, my bf and I had a conversation yesterday about our future. The conversation lasted almost an hour and was mainly about him expressing his anxieties about entering into an engagement with me with the knowledge that I wouldn't be able to help out much income wise when actively in med school. I am currently 4 or 5 years out to actually attending med school. Him and I had been talking about getting engaged so I see where the anxiety is coming from. He was worried because his way of life was going to change and that he will become the main source of income. Hes worried because he admittedly said he was looking at this from a selfish perspective but he's talking to me about this before things become permanent. I completely understand his worry and told him that this is something that he needs to figure out for himself if he wants to continue being in a relationship with me.
I did also tell him that with the student loans I would take out I would be able to help out here and there but not much since I am trying to minimize the amount of debt I get into. I am giving him the time he needs to think about this but I think I also deserve someone who is fully committed to backing up my dream and be willing to be there for me without a doubt?
This is important, about a year ago I worked for abig company that paid me pretty good but I left that job to go back to school. That job was supposed to be our "we get to finally move in together and get engaged" thing but he got super mad when he found out I quit without talking to him. We did not and do not share finances and do not live together.
I love him but he keeps bringing up that part of our history and it's really starting to bug me that he keeps bringing it up. He says that he understands why I did it but keeps using it as an example of me surprising him with something that effected us even though there is nothing legit that ties us together. And is worried about "surprises". My view is that if we aren't legal on paper or living together where my decision actually do affect us then my decisions are mine. I would love some opinions to shed some light on this situation.
I don't want this relationship to be over but if he's having doubts of whether he can be there for us for that time then idk if it's a good move to be with him permanently.