Boyfriend keeps contact with ex wife even after I’ve expressed discomfort
Hi everyone,
I don’t use Reddit much so apologies if this isn’t the correct chat or method to ask my question. I’ll get straight to it.
My boyfriend (29M) and I (27F) have been dating for a year and a half. We don’t fight often and our relationship is pretty good. However, our biggest fights have always been centered around his boundaries with his ex wife who he was with for 4 years. I want to give examples but I also want to make sure I’m expressing his pov as well.
His immediate family being on a group call and his ex wife will join. His reasoning was that another family member used that group chat and called (but this doesn’t make sense to me because why is that gc still in existence)
We both do music and we’re performing. His ex wife came with a bouquet of flowers and claimed that a random person on the street gave them to her and she wanted to give them to me. He told her not to give them to me but she still ended up handing me a flower. (I think the flowers were for him but she didn’t know that I was performing with him.)
(The biggest one) His friend group ended up splitting because of us dating. The scenario he gave was that 2 other girls and his ex were on a phone call. On that call one of the girls mentioned how it’s hard to hang out with him which made his ex angry splitting the friendship. When he told me this I was on my way back to his place. He was initially trying to downplay it but was also saying that i shouldn’t come over because she’s there. (This instance made me think that his ex still has feelings for him but he refuses this possibility because she ended the relationship.)
Because of all of this, i went from initially being ok with him having a friendship with his ex to clearly stating that i don’t want to be in the same room as her. I should also mention that during all these events, they were still legally married but had been separated for 3 years (Yes, the timeline makes no sense to me either). He also filed for divorce during our relationship. I do also want to say that after a heated argument back in October, he’s generally honored my boundary of not communicating with her.
Now my current dilemma:
My boyfriend is in the process of moving out of his home. Because of this, he wanted to throw a huge party and invite everyone that’s been to the house. What he failed to mention was that he was also going to invite his ex. I feel like for all the other instances, there was always some justifiable excuse as to why she was around (someone else invited her, someone else called, etc.) but for this he personally invited her. He said that it was unintentional but I think there’s something deeper there that he’s not saying. I don’t really know what to think rn. I’ve developed a bunch of possibilities but I need other opinions.
TLDR: Boyfriend invited his ex wife to his moving party after I’ve said countless times that it makes me uncomfortable.