u/Critical_Pace_3412

▲ 417 r/findapath

I spent my 20s panicking because my dream career didn't work out. Turns out I never needed the dream.

At 22 I was going to be a lawyer. That was the plan. The only plan.

Bombed the LSAT twice. Couldn't get into any school worth the debt. Felt like my life was over. Spent about a year working a random admin job convinced I was a failure.

I'm 31 now. Work in compliance operations at a mid size fintech. Make good money. Actually like what I do and it has absolutely nothing to do with law.

Here's what I wish someone told 22 year old me.

The problem wasn't that the law thing failed. The problem was I only had one path. I'd spent years building my entire identity around one future and when it died I had nothing. Literally zero.

I didn't know what I was good at beyond, I like arguing. Never thought about what kind of work I'd actually enjoy day to day or what my strengths even were outside of school stuff. No clue.

What got me moving again wasn't a career epiphany. It was a senior colleague at that admin job who ended up becoming a mentor without either of us planning it. He was my on the job trainer and we just started having real conversations. Just honest talks about what I was good at, what I cared about. He pointed out strengths I'd never considered valuable because they didn't fit the lawyer story I'd been telling myself. Those conversations didn't just help with work. They helped with everything.

I know not everyone is lucky enough to stumble into a good mentor like that. But if you're in your early 20s reading this thinking you ruined your life because your one plan didn't work out: you didn't. You just don't have a filter yet.

You're just starting the part nobody prepared you for.

The plan was never the point. Understanding yourself is.

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u/Critical_Pace_3412 — 5 days ago

How do you manage someone who's clearly talented but slowly disengaging and won't tell you why?

I've got a direct report who was one of my best performers for 2 years. Last 4 months something shifted. Still hits deadlines but the extras have disappeared. No more volunteering for projects, no more ideas in team meetings. I've asked directly if something's wrong and every time the answer is all good.

I think the role has quietly changed underneath (we scaled the team from 8 to 18 and the scope narrowed) but I can't get them to confirm that. How do you manage this without overstepping?

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u/Critical_Pace_3412 — 11 days ago