Meth and not sleeping
Hi guys!
I admit I'm struggling with methamphetamine. Despite my effords I still have my ups and downs, currently having a relatively bad period (not the worst I've had) - maybe using like once a week.
I'll try to not go into further details and will focus on one huge for me issue - sleeping, or the lack of it. In my case the sleeping issues after the drug using worsened a lot with time, especially the last few months have been absolutely awful, like life is fading away from me and I believe the main reason is not just the drug itself but the lack of sleep.
As I already mentioned lately I've been using like once a week and not too big doses - snorting 2 or 3 lines in a Friday night after a couple of drinks. I don't even feel a big effect anymore, the high and the euphoria I used to feel are no way near the same, I actually feel like an idiot for keeping using.
But for some reason I start sleeping less and less despite the little effect I feel after 2 or 3 lines. I obviously don't sleep the first night after using as the stimulant is still strong in my blood. One sleepless night I can survive just fine as I'm used to it but something happened to me and I can't fall asleep in the second night too even when I don't feel the meth in my system.
I think this happens because lately I've been experiencing huge anxiety, especially strong after the stimulant gets out of my body. This kind of anxiety was not present a year or two back. The more I try to force sleeping the worst it gets and I try to get out of bed and do some simple stuff but it is really hard. I feel extreme fatigue, keep sweating all day long, heart is beating fast and blood pressure is higher than usual, I can't focus and keep forgetting simple things, I feel dizzy, my emotions are really strange too.
I just don't feel natural and don't know what to do start sleeping as a normal human being and feel normal again. Well, I know the first thing I should do is to completely quit meth and drinking too as that serves as a trigger for me but believe me its been hard as I've been doing this for the last 15 years.
So in my situation basically two lines of meth are equial to two nights of no sleep. Skipping two or even sometimes three nights of sleep per week is just way too much and is literally destroying me. I'm also a person who can almost never sleep in the day to catch up a bit, especially in a hot day like this one. Of course there are many other issues that the drug bring but at this moment I feel like the lack of sleeping is the biggest one by far.
And the worst part is that I'll eventually start sleeping after ~48 hours, after a few nights I'll most likely feel a bit better (still far from optimal) then I'll just get drunk and high again. Unfortunately this keeps repeating over and over again. I know everyone is different and it isn't a good idea to compare with others but I know guys who use meth daily and can sleep for at least 3 or 4 hours a night, that's something I can only dream for. Don't even know how it's possible.
I'm posting this to both vent and seek any advice from anyone who have experienced something similiar or is familiar with problems like that. How do I end this curced cycle and how do I start sleeping again? I'm not taking any sleeping pills as I don't think using them while meth could still be in my system is a good idea. Why I can't fall asleep even after I don't feel high anymore and how do I survive this?
I'll stop here as this is already getting too long. Any advice would be highly appreciated. Thanks to everyone who had the time to read all this!