Tried to get my first pap done, did not go as planned
So I went in for my first pap because I am now at that point in life(yay). I was actually rather excited to get it done because I like to know what’s going on with my body, but I couldn’t even get it done. I felt fine and was ready, but when she put the speculum in it hurt like crazy. It was maybe not even a full inch in and I felt like I was being ripped in half. She stopped immediately and was very apologetic, but I was still disappointed, mostly in myself. I know I’m not any less of a woman, but now I feel like I am. Like why can’t do this simple thing that millions of women get done all the time. The doctor assured me that I’m normal and that my pelvic floor is just very tight, but I couldn’t stop apologizing and crying, I feel awful and like I should’ve been able to handle the pain. Have any of you had these feelings before or experienced this? I know this is probably a normal experience but I feel like an idiot for some reason. Thanks in advance!