Resources for severe depression?
I'm in my 20s, male, have a stable job, home, and loved ones, I have money issues and but nothing out of hand yet.
I'm pretty sure I've been depressed since I was 10. And by the time I was 15 I tried to kill myself. I saved my own life and was too ashamed to tell anyone for many years.
Since then I've just kinda been raw dogging my depression, it's caused major hurdles in my left and held me back from trying new things or stopping me from perusing opportunities. I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't think about dying at least once a day.
I've tried exercising, hanging out with friends, starting hobbies but my self doubt and lack of will just drag me back into the hole.
I know as a late 20y/o guy my options are significantly limited. I have no family doctor, and I don't have the means to pay out of pocket for therapy or counseling. But there's some recent family issues and I feel myself falling into a deeper hole, I want to get better, pretty sure I need to be medicated.
I've heard I can walk into the hospital and say I'm suicidal but that feels wrong to me, I don't want to die but I kinda check all the boxes of someone who does. Anyone know any non-emergency methods to get help? And no fucking chat bots.