My mom believes she owns me and my body (I’m a legal adult btw)
For context, this has been a thing since I was a kid usually followed by the excuse of me being a ‘miricale ‘ or rainbow baby and my mom’s cancer story. And EVERYONE enables it like crazy. I could write a 400 page essay. But I’ll drop the main ones as of recent.
so I’m 18f I have a twin who is also 18f. She does not do this to my twin sister as she tends to comply to my mom’s bs. And my mom is convinced becuase she gave birth to me she owns me And thus dictates my life and who I can date what I can look like ect. I’ll be listing off instances For ref.
- Since I was a kid I haven’t been very open to touch especially when it comes to hair, skin to skin, ect. My dad (love this guy) has always been respectful about it him and my nana (who partially raised me) were about the only people who would ask before brushing my hair or touching me. now this was a insult to my mother, I had long hair, she gave me a fuck ass bob and made me dye my little patches of white for my first day is kindergarten out of spite becuase I didn’t let her flat iron my hair. Also when she tried to touch me (this still applies) and u avoided her or said no she’d get all mad and start throwing a toddler fit (stomping feet and all) and fake wail until I caved, or she’d guilt me with the fact I should be impossible and I owe her.
-Body checking. This started in my teen years and kinds follows into the previous one. While yes for awhile it was understandable she would have me remove my shirt or long sleeves as I was drawling the red on myself. HOWEVER I’ve been clean for 7 years now. And she still does this, and now it’s to ‘purity fheck’ where I remove my bra and panties for ‘inspection’ where she looks at my downstairs and makes fun of me for it becuase Its ‘ugly’ or ‘deformed’ then tells me that im am lying about not Shaboinking. (Mind you I’m very touch avoidant). Becuase she can tell and she knows all.
-bigger problem as of recently I have an ex. I dint like this ex he wanted to unprotected shaboink becuase him brain was p🌽 rotted at 16. I said no and he locked me in the car with him. That was a whole thing, WE DO NOT LIKE THIS MAN. however I have a new boyfriend he’s sweet and I adore him, yes he talks funny and cooks weird meals sometimes but i would marry him, my dad adores him. (So you know he is a keeper) but this is a use for my mom becuase she wants me with my ex becuase my ex was ‘more attractive’ and is bestiesnwith my sister (it’s weird I don’t like it think) and she invites him to things or tries to get him to go out with me or drops me off at a place he’s at or makes me talk to him. ITS WEIRD FOR BOTH IF US. Like NO this ex doesn’t need to come to my house to do some chore I’ve been doing on the farm since I was 14! I know how to fix a fence and basic maintenance a car I dint need that freak to do it,
-I’m going to a college 4 minutes from the house, I’m not complying it’s free and saves me money, however this college has multiple campuses and while I can take all my 1st semester classes at the nearby campus I have to take my 2nd semester classes in the campus the next town over, I’ve been driving there since I was a kid. However my mom does not like that and threw a fit threatening to pull me out of college if I took any classes next town over and has even grounded me from driving To said town so I can’t be ‘familiar’. aka I can only be at home where she can watch me.
-she gets angry I don’t shave everyday especially the bush becuase I have no need, she tried to shave it for me while I was showering, actually she’ll watch me shower and then say ‘it’s payback from when you were young and didn’t leave me alone to shower. IM 18 ITS WEIRD. and last time I locked the bathroom door she busted it down.
-she throws fits randomly now that I’m 18, and she’ll ground me from my things I BOUGHT with MY MONEY in MY BANK ACCOUNT, (she’s grounded me from my own bank account/taken my debit and credit cards). Tried to sell the guitars I PAID FOR. Becuase I wanted To go out with friends or said no to unwanted advances,
-shes also worked at every school I’ve gone to within the district like elementary, middle, jr high, and high school and would interrorate random kids if I ate my lunches and then have kids tell her if I threw anything away, or she’d even stand behind me while I ate yes even in high school she did this. It was weird and was a reason I didn’t have many friends,
-fills out all legal documents and forges my signature becuase I’m apparently too stupid to fill out medical paperwork or anything at all. she also withholds my social security card from me and threatens to shred it if i do anything wrong (I could go into punishments with an essay). I had to get my dad to steal it so I could sign up from college.
-she dictates how I dress and buys me $lutty clothes (basically lingerie and stripper wear) and gets mad when I won’t wear a Jong and what’s essentially a bra with sleeves and calls me a whore if I wear a tighter fitting turtleneck With nice pants.
-not allowed to have Any adult responsibilities or obligations becuase I’m too ‘immature’
-brings up how I WILL have atleast 2 kids when I’m married (not if I want kids but I have to) and if I correct her she gets all pissy and talks about how I’ll be unfulfilled and how I should off myself if I’m not having kids becuase she didn’t have me and go through yada yada for me not to.
-forbidden to partake in ‘male hobbies/activities’ ya so no woodworking, steam, car stuff, (everything in good at besides crocheting and sewing pretty much)
-calls me a woke liberal many times for expressing to doctors that I am not meltally well and if my main doctor (who known me since I was a kid) asks me anything about sleep complications, nausea, headaches, or mental health or asks my oermission to run tests becuase I’m an adult and can consent for myself. My mom will scream at us both and say no becuase ‘she pays’ and she has to be in the room Or she’ll throw a Karen fit. And she has to awnser everything for me and make up lies that I’m just ‘secretly sexually active’ or ‘just lazy’ or ‘faking for attention’ and it pmo
-OH ON TNE TOPIC IF SEXUALLY ACTIVE! (If you’re squeamish to 🍇 I’d look away but I’m not gonna get to detailed) yes I have deformities down in the chattahoochee, thus no I can’t wear tampons without pain or discomfort, I wear pads. My mom doesn’t like that becuase that’s in invent to her and I need to ‘grow up’ so I was in the bathroom making a pad out of to becuase she wouldnt buy em, when she decides I’m taking to long. Crawls UNDER the stall door to me and proceeds to forcefully insert one while restraining me and holding my mouth shut. And when I confronted her about it she brought up how she owns me becuase she gave birth to me. (She also told everyone while I was sobbing on the toilet to jot belive me becuase im out of it from the sun)
-she uses me as leverage aginst my dad a lot especially when I was younger whenever he brought up divorce (before cancer 2.0) she would threaten to turn him in for some stuff he did in his 20’ (he alreayd served time that isn’t was deterred him) but allegedly she has some blackmail to prove he wasn’t fit to be a father, (she had recorded him yelling at her during a argument). I don’t think it would’ve mattered to be honest given I have some bald spots from where she used to pull me out if the house by my hair because I couldn’t eat dinner becuase the texture was diabolical.
-has had me around creepy old guys and if I expressed discomfort I was reprimanded becuase it ‘looked poorly on her’ and I should respect my elders more. Sorry I dint want the expired version of the off brand joker touching me.
away from the negativity and like maybe off topic but I don’t want end this post on the bad note becuase yes my mom is insane and mentally ill and probabky would be a terrorist if chance came around.
my dad despite some of his misguided decisions and mistakes I’d actually a great guy, he’s always tried to help me a lot working through many of my issues I have (even if I was a absolute nightmare some days) he’d never get mad or yell or hit m (he’s anti violence unless nessacarry) and yes my mom tries to isolate him as much as she does me. But his friends Are all awesome and cool and to be honest as much parents to me as he is. And just so you know how cool this guy is many times he had taken in either a realitive, friend of mine, or even a stranger who was struggling to give them a place to stay and recoups as long as they needed. And always provided the best help (many of those people are like my siblings) and recently he’s been working on finding me and my boyfriend a place to stay (whether being buying a cheap house or aparment for us to stay in) becuase both of our moms are psycho.
but ya no I’m 18 and as of currently my mom allegedly owns me and my body and can do as she likes, and if I had video and photo proof (it’s prolly out there in her texts) I’d 100% GET A RESTRAINING ORDER (I will once I move out)