r/entitledparents

Long story short....

My dad was an alcohoicl until I was 18 (I'm 41 now),. He cheated on my mom when I was 15 and is still with the woman. She officially became my stepmom 7 years ago, but she has been in my life for 16 years now. My dad and I have had a decent relationship since I was like 22 though

My mom passed away 4 years ago, so my dad is all I have left. They already pushed my brother and my dad's family away. (though my brother deserved it). I've been trying to see them for a year now. I saw them once when they drove by my house, and I was outside. Then I saw them in Feb at my nephew's birthday.

I mentioned to them in a text that I have been trying to get coffee or come over for months now, and they keep making excuses. I said if you don't want me in your life, then let me know because I am tired of trying.

My dad called me the next day and explained they were busy and what not but to stop by for their yard sale that weekend. However my lovely entitled stepmom decided it was her time to shine and ripped into me about how I don't control their lives. That she rarely see her kids (which I told her was sad), and that I am liar and manipulator.

I called my dad and asked if he was seeing these texts which he said no. I explained them, and he just kept saying okay. My aunt said he may be being emotional abused and controlled and to reach out separately to him. So I let him know I'm here, I'm his daughter, and that won't change. His response was just okay.

I'm not sure what to do. Do I really let this go and not have a dad anymore?

TL;DR: My stepmom is trying to push my dad away from me, and I'm not sure if I should let it happen

I bought my house in 2009, not long after the crash, so I got a damn good deal. That left me with enough left over cash to build a couple expansions and put a pool in.

The majority of my neighbors are low income folks, as would be expected in an area where the best job you can get is at the Amazon warehouse. I love the majority of my neighbors. They're great people.

But we recently had a family move in 3 houses down from us, and they are straight up trash. They have 3 broken down cars in their front yard that the dad is "working on". They blast music on their outdoor speakers at midnight. They leave trash (beer cans, pizza boxes, cigar wrappers) in the woods behind my house, just past my property line.

I got woken up this morning by a notification that there was movement in my back yard. I checked my camera, and there were six kids that I did not recognize, swimming in my pool. Playing games, dunking on my basketball hoop (yes, they damaged it).

I called the police non-emergency number. The cops showed up and took the kids home. They were too young to charge.

About an hour later, I had loud knocks on my door. It was the mom who just moved in. She told me that I shouldn't have a pool if I didn't want everyone who sees it to jump in. She told me that "not everyone can afford a pool", so I need to share.

Like, if I knew her and her kids, if we were friends, I would probably be ok with them swimming. But some random kid swimming in my pool is a legal liability for me.

I'm 27 and have lived on my own for almost three years. My parents live about 30 minutes away and for most of that time they'd text or call before coming over.

Somewhere in the last few months they apparently decided that was optional.

It started with my mom dropping by on a Saturday morning because she "was already nearby." Then my dad showed up one evening with something he wanted me to look at. After that it became pretty regular, sometimes twice a week.

They'd ring the bell and if I didn't answer immediately they'd call asking why I'm not opening the door.

I've told them multiple times that I don't mind seeing them, I just want a heads-up first. My mom's response every single time is basically, "We're your parents, why would we need an appointment?"

Last weekend I was home, but I was tired and had planned to spend the entire afternoon doing absolutely nothing.

They rang the bell. I checked the camera, saw it was them, and didn't answer.

My mom called twice, then texted, "We know you're home." I replied that I wasn't having visitors and reminded her again to ask before coming over.

Apparently this was a massive insult.

They waited outside for another few minutes, then left. That evening my dad called and told me I'd embarrassed my mom and that refusing to open the door to my own parents was incredibly disrespectful.

He kept saying they would never turn me away if I appeared at their house. I said that's fine, but their rules for their home don't automatically become the rules for mine.

Now my mom is barely speaking to me and told my sister that I've become "cold" since moving out.

My sister thinks I should've opened the door that one time and dealt with the bigger issue afterward, but that's basically what I've been doing for months and nothing changed.

I genuinely like spending time with my parents. I just don't understand why asking for a text before someone comes to my home is treated like I'm rejecting the entire family.

The weirdest part is that if a friend behaved this way, my parents themselves would probably tell me it was rude.

Apparently being related means doorbells work differently.

I finally moved out about six months ago and I thought I was finally going to have some peace. I love my mom but she has no concept of personal space or boundaries at all. When I first signed the lease she kept asking when she would get her copy of the key. I told her multiple times that I am not giving out keys to anyone yet because I want to get settled first. She acted all hurt and said she only wanted it in case there was a leak or some kind of emergency. I knew that was a lie because back when I lived in the dorms she would just show up unannounced and start going through my drawers while I was in class.

Last Tuesday I was in the middle of a really important Zoom call for work. I work from home three days a week and my boss is super strict about distractions. Suddenly I hear someone jiggling the doorknob and then loud banging. It was my mom. She was shouting through the door for me to let her in because she had groceries for me. I had to mute my mic and run to the door to tell her I was busy. When I opened it she immediately tried to push past me into the  kitchen. She was annoyed that the door was locked in the middle of the day and said it was "disrespectful" to lock her out when she is just trying to be a good mother.

The real blowup happened yesterday. I found out from my sister that mom actually went to a local locksmith and tried to describe my key from memory to get a copy made. Obviously they told her no because she doesnt have any proof of residence but she was furious. She called me screaming about how I am treatng her like a criminal. She kept saying that she has a right to access my home because she gave birth to me and raised me. I told her that those things have nothing to do with each other and that I am a 24 year old adult who deserves privacy. 

She ended the call by saying she is going to tell the whole family that I am "abandoning" her. I am just so tired of the constant guilt trips and the feeling that I am never allowed to have anything that is just mine. My dad is staying out of it like he always does but my aunts are already starting to text me asking why I am being so mean to her. Has anyone else dealt with a parent who thinks they are entitled to a key to your life just because they raised you. I feel like I am losing my mind trying to explain basic respect to a grown woman who should of known better.

I sometimes would wake up in a bad mood. Still tired or overslept, then my father especially would repeat “Good Morning” and when I don’t say it first, he takes it the wrong way and then gets irritated and mentioning how I’m always unhappy, rude or, negative. They would also both tell me things I need to do immediately when I just woke up, and just in general it makes me feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed when I just got out of bed. Both of them know I already have a history of being depressed and a diagnosed neurodivergent. Is it normal for parents to do these things?

I work in a kopitiam, got paid around 8 to 6 ringgit per hour, all of it was enough and I was greatful, but i start to realise how much time im wasting from working, time is like a currency; you waste your time to create money, and i realise im going to miss out certain things and waste my whole teenage years working, so i decided to take two day breaks from every week to do some hobbies and even play games or like spend time.

But one time my dad says, “Aren’t you supposed to be at work.”, I then replied, “Its my off day, i just need some rest, its not like i live in that place lol”, well his reaction was unexpected because he was angry, and even my mom was too, my dad yelled at me and called me having no life and accused me of masturbating?? And my mom says im a lazy asshole with no use, they even force me to get out of the house to go to work.?

What did i ever do to them? I just wanted rest and im not being controlled by them, i just wanted to have rest, the other reason is my loved ones even told me to have some rest and said i was too young to work there? Who else advice should i even have to follow lol

My parents have a very toxic relationship. They came to the US when me and my sister were younger. For the first couple of years everything was okay, until later on my father started gambling.

Now even before his gambling issue, my father had anger problems and was not a pleasant man, him and my mother would always fight and my mother suffered a lot with him. Still she chose to come with him to the US so that she doesn’t leave us.

My mother, a housewife who doesn’t speak English couldn’t do much but have patience.
After my father got into gambling we got evicted and things started going downhill from then on.

After i turned 17, i started becoming responsible of taking over the household because my father slowly let go of his responsibilities. I was always tied between my fear of losing our home again and between my mother who blamed me for enabling my father and paying the bills.

I felt lost and didn’t know what to do, slowly i started seeing how my father was manipulating me to pay for everything at such a young age. I used to go to college and work and at one point i had no rest, still my father had no empathy.

I am now 27, nothing had changed. The more responsibilities i took the worse it became. I felt a lot of betrayal from my family because no one understands my pain. I didn’t choose this, but i had to do it because i couldn’t trust my father.
Now my mother always tells me that i need to do something about it and saying that i need to kick my father out. How could she ask me for such a thing? I understand her frustration with him, i am just as frustrated but in our religion and culture i can’t see myself doing this and letting my father out in the street. I am so exhausted and lost

If you were in my position, and have faced so much manipulation from your father who even after seeing you suffering wouldn’t throw a penny at you, would you leave him even if that meant facing backlash from people and maybe your father having nowhere to go after he left his country and home to take you overseas for a better future?

Ps: he claims that he brought us here for a better future. The thing is i suffered so much in this country and i’m yet to see the bright future he talks about

My parents don’t argue at home often, and when they do my dad always starts it and then tries to blame my mum for his problems. But since my dad is selfish he likes to argue on holiday with my mum (likely over something minor) and ruin it for me and my mum. But this shit happens every fucking holiday abroad and i literally don’t know why. My dad literally wants Nazi control over mum and throws a hissy fit when my mum doesnt do something his way.

He’s most obviously a narcissist because he argues with my mum while she sleeps lmfao. it’s currently 2am and I’m in lanzarote, i can hear my mum and dad whispering and arguing as I’m writing this. The first time a bad argument happened on holiday was when my parents basically booked a shithole in a foreign country. (THEY BOTH AGREED ON THE PLACE.) My dad then tried to blame it on my mum. Then a couple nights later at a bar my dad was acting like a fucking idiot and screaming at the singers so we rightfully left out of embarrassment. So then when he got back at the hotel he started trying to guilt trip me and my mum.

“Leave me all alone like the miserable bastard you want me to be.” Something across the lines of that, i think i remember my mum trying to move to a different bed bjt my dad kept following her to continue the argument. then my mum pushed him away and…bro started saying he was assaulted by his own wife smh 🤦‍♂️.

TL;DR. dad is a narcissistic asshole who doesn’t care for people around him, even when the entire family is supposed to have a good time.

I dont know if this is the right place to post it but would help me a lot to get your perspective on this.

My grandma, otherwise a kind person, very stressed, constantly over analyzing everything, extremely deep, says things that are not light-hearted, and thinks she can control people's lives, sometimes entitled. Ever since I have left my home country 15 years ago, every few years she would say things like "return back" without thinking that this makes me not even consider returning back. I have always given 100% to support my parents, trying to be here as much as possible, sometimes 6 times a year for 1/2 weeks each visit. My sister on the other hand doesn't, so she now has her own family and now she is even further from coming back fequently.

Whenever I am back here more frequently, my family always puts a toll on me. Whenever I come back here only twice a year, things are better as bounderies are in place.

I have a place, partner, friends, job and built my life in a country outside of mine and have always cared for everyone. Yesterday my grandma asked if she could speak to me. She said Ive been analysing everyone's lifes, starting with you "you are alone". I stopped her right there and then to tell her that I am not alone and I have a life. Just because i dont have kids yet, that doesn't make me alone. She didnt even reply. She tried talking about everyone with the goal to tell me that I need to be the carer for my mom after my dad is no longer here (my dad has cancer) and he is young, my mom as well so she is capable of taking care of herself.

Because of all the times my grandma has always considered me that I will be the care giver for the whole family, I dont like talking about these things because I dont agree with it. She started again, I stopped her and told her to not think too much about the future but to enjoy the present that I am here.

She is always upset and her blood pressure rises so when she feels these type of emoitions and unsaid things, she gets even more upset. We continued talking like nothing happened but she continues to keep these things inside of her and it's very toxic trying to guild trip me. She. constantly compares her grandkids and I am sure she thinks I am less of a person when comparing me with brothers/cousins.

Doesnt matter how much I do for my family, the more I do, the more I have a toll on me. My grandma on the other hand, hasn't helped my mom with anything - not even helping my dad in any way. I am the one who is helping, I am the one who is here and putting my job on the line.

She builds an image in her head about someone and believes it. I am expecting to receive a hand-written letter even before she passes to make things even deeper with "you need to be the caregiver etc".

Have you ever been guild-tripped by family and do you by any chance know what I can tell her so she could be calm?

She took away my computer, despite having two months left till I turn 19. I tried to fight to get it back by telling her "I'm an adult and it's my property."

She refused and said that as long as I'm in her house, her punishments apply. We may move out in a year, but I genuinely think it will be significantly longer.

She paid for the laptop when I was 16 though.

This AH mom took our place at a trampoline at the lunapark. My hands were full and my mouth was full, so I couldn't put my kid on it like she shamelessly did. So I called her shitty and she snuggly smiled in my face. I was soon done because it was sooo hot, so I shoved the pancake in my mouth and went behind the trampoline and started chanting some gibberish and did some weird gestures with my hands and she took her kid and left ☺️ it helped a lot I think that I looked like a mess. She wasn't smug after that lol

So to start off this story i come and visit my mom maybe once or twice a week and i bring my elderly cat, ive had her since i was 5 i am 18 turning 19 in october, we got my cat when she was 1, so she is pretty old, my moms cat is maybe like a “new adult”. The last time i visited my cat had an accident which she left for me to clean up(i had been asleep for 3 hours) and i was fine with that but she made it seem like it was the end of the world and started being pretty rude to my cat, pushing her off seats, couch, bean bag all places she was allowed to go before. Her cat yesterday peed in the sink, my cat has has two accidents in her house the other time she left it for me to clean up again and i wasn’t even there. mind you she lives with my two brothers and their gfs/ fiancée, one of my brothers has a baby and the other his fiancée is pregnant. she brushed off the fact her cat peed in the sink and we are having a problem with it because what if the baby’s bottle was in there or anything of the baby’s. TODAY her cat peed all over the kitchen. i wish i was lying, he peed all on the table, floor, island, and on my candy. she brushed it off and said it was fine. she continues to complain about the other cats in the house (my brothers cats) and when they have an accident, her cat is doing this on purpose because we have had this problem before because he is so territorial. she won’t do anything to help she makes me try to clean it up when he does something because he “love me more” she tries to make my brothers pregnant fiancée clean the cat littler and when both my brothers said no she threw a hissy fit and tried to set rules when everyone who lives here pays rent. just yesterday she mixed bleach and fabloso when the baby was in the house and wiped the whole floor with it, it smelt of toxic fumes and when we told her our concerns she told us to stop being dramatic and she was trying to get the house cleaned and tried to make us feel bad by saying she won’t clean anymore if it’s such a problem she tries to clean around the house. she constantly tried to minimize our concerns when we have a problem because she thinks she knows better than us because she has been alive much longer.

edit: yes i can get a portable litter box but i do not have money to afford one right now because i am out of a job, I clean my litter box out everyday at my house so she’s definitely used to a clean litter box. when i lived with my mom she would make me clean it everyday and her cats pee stinks so bad it’s actually disgusting that’s how we know it was him who peed everywhere in the kitchen because it stunk. We never cleaned the cat pee because we went to go visit my dad and when my brothers got back she had left it there all over the kitchen and told me my behavior is like my abusive dads because i called her out on making chlorine gas and “cleaning” the floor with it

I (22f) work as a teacher in a pretty good school. Before I start anything I would like to say that my parents got a divorce when I was just 2 years old. They weren't compatible and that was the reason my mom filed for divorce. My dad tried to take us(me and my sister) so many times but every time he would find it hard caring for us alone so he would give us back to my mom. So he relied on just talking smack about her and her talking smack about him. He tried so many times to make us (7years old me and 10 years old sister) get them back together telling us to talk to her.

We were obedient children. We did everything we could to be good. We went to school, behaved perfectly and sat in a little corner, got the best grades, never complained, and never made them feel like they failed as parents even though they did.

Fast forward to me being 12 years old and moving to 4 different houses in the span of a year, I started to get mad and expressed it in little things like not getting high grades at school even though I studied hard but my mind wasn't in it. My mom started comparing me to my older sister and that made me internally angry. When i snapped at her she shouted at me, slapped me, kicked me to the ground, and pulled my hair. It was my first time getting hit and it stuck with me. Then the next day she told me that she booked to go to a therapist to "fix this behavior of mine". My father didn't say anything about it when I called him and cried. He didn't care because he didn't think that crying is real lol. My nickname from him was "teardrop" literally. I went to therapy as she wanted and time passed.

Fast forward again of me being an adult. I live in the same house because she finances my money and i am culturally not allowed to live alone as a single woman . I go out with my friends once a month and that is a lot to her. I get out of my 8 hours shift of school, do private tutoring minimum 4 hours a day and come back home to clean and cook. She still finds faults in me. Things like "you didn't put the dish soap in its place". When she shouts at me because of these little things I just stay silent and absorb whatever she throws at me. But if my face even conveys a sad or confused reaction that is enough to make her more mad.

She even decided for me the school that I am currently working in. In the summer she and dad tried to make me quit working at this school but I said no and that I am comfortable in it but they didn't listen. Dad even took my CV and put in another school to force my hand. But I signed with the same school again and told them that I am not leaving. They were furious and reacted accordingly. My private tutoring? they price them and decide the time and place.

Last month she signed me up in a gym because "my weight is too much and no one will ever be romantically interested in me" I am 80kgs. I have to go at least 5 times a week or else I will hear about it all day long. She decides what makeup i wear or i will hear about how horrible I look before going out which nice for my self esteem.

I don't think I need to say how little I feel in work because of that. When my manager tells me I am the best teacher in my section I don't believe her. When the students say it I don't believe them. I feel so so little and I feel so immature like my personality still hasn't developed. I don't know who I am.

I don't know who i am and that is what makes me the most angry. My favorite thing to do ? Idk. My favorite movie? Idk. My favorite song?idk. My ANYTHING? idk.

I don't know myself and it shows in me not having anything to express it. My room is empty of any decorations. My style is plain and normal. And my decisions are even mine. I feel like a sponge just laying there to absorb whatever they throw at me.

My issue here is not only how awful they are but how awful I have been to myself. I want to form my own identity and to stop being affected by what they say and do to me.

I dont want anyone to tell me to move out because that is not even a possibility. I am from a third world country where rentals or hotel book ins are not available for single women.

When I was in younger I worked at a daycare. I was in charge of the preschool age kids for the afternoon. There was one girl there I will call Katie who was the sweetest kid. She didn’t bully, shared toys and played well with the others, she was a favorite at the daycare.

One day I come in and I notice Katie is not as active as she usually is so I go talk to her. She said that her neck was hurting, I noticed though that her cheeks were red and then asked her to show me where her neck hurts, she pointed to the front and I realized that she was talking about her throat. I took her to another room without kids and took her temperature, it was 101.

After that the director got involved. Paperwork needed to be filled out and her parents needed to come get her and I was asked to stay with her until they came. We asked her how long she had been feeling this way and said a few days, but mommy and daddy were giving her medicine that made her feel better for a little while. I realized then that they knew she was sick but brought her to daycare anyway.

The director comes back after a few mins and tells me that she called the parents and someone would pick her up. They took over 2 hours to do so. During that time Katie felt worse and worse and was crying off and on and just wanted to go home. I stayed with her the entire time and tried to comfort her but she needed a doctor and/or medicine and the daycare was not authorized to give her any.

When her dad gets there he gave the director an attitude and asked why we didn’t give her some Tylenol to bring down the fever. My director told him that we are not authorized to give over the counter medication to the kids, not even cough drops, and per the centers guidelines no child can be dropped off while they are sick. If any medication of any kind needs to be administered we have to have a doctor’s note.

She then emphasized that Katie cannot return until she had a regular temperature for at least 2 days. He got pissed and started the, what am I supposed to do argument. She just told him that was not our problem and he and his wife had just exposed the entire daycare to her illness and held her ground.

Well what do you know, the very next morning I woke up with a severe sore throat. I thought that I had probably caught Katie’s sickness so I called my boss. She said that she thought this might happen because the morning person in Katie’s class had called in that morning sick, and she was also 6 months pregnant. Over the next couple of days 3 other kids were out sick, all in close age to Katie and had played with her.

I was so miserable I went to the doctor, diagnosis strep throat. It took me 3 days of misery to kick it and 5 days for my pregnant coworker. By the time I came back all of the kids were fine but they were all talking about how much they hated being sick and how happy they were to be better.

A part of me wanted to yell at Katie’s parents that their selfishness caused multiple people, including kids to miss school and work and be miserable but I said nothing since I never wanted Katie to feel bad because of her parents actions.

Unfortunately this was not the only time parents brought a sick kid to daycare just the worst one. I get that people need to work and not every job is ok with taking time off the last minute, but shouldn’t you put the welfare of your kid first. She was absolutely miserable and their lives were more important than that, her dad showed that with his attitude.

I left that job soon after because of multiple parents attitudes and the job just overall made me want a hysterectomy at 18.

Anyone else with an entitled parent story feel free to share.

Before I get started (and it’s a long one), just know that I am on mobile and the formatting may be weird. Anyways, here it goes. I 28 (f) have been working at my family business since I was 18. I decided to quit college back then due to burnout, and a was in a major that I was forced into by them since they were paying for my college. They told me they weren’t going to pay for a worthless degree. Also, I wasn’t allowed to have a gap year because they thought I wouldn’t continue college if I had one. So, with my no work experience and the only opportunity being my parents at the time, obviously I took the job despite the issues. When I was younger, my dad had then told me I wasn’t allowed to get a job, and that being a kid “was my job and I shouldn’t want to grow up too fast.” So, there’s that. I’ve been financially dependent on them ever since I could remember.

Now keep in mind this is a family business. Growing up, I was always told that I would inherit the business one day and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I’ve expressed to them multiple times that I wasn’t sure if I wanted it, but they kept pressuring me and gaslighting me and all the things above a narcissistic parent would do so of course I stayed stayed when I really shouldn’t have but again no work experience, no finances and nowhere to go. When I mean pressuring me it includes telling me that if I wanted to live how I was living, I would have to take over the business and that going for an acting career was pointless, worthless, and I wouldn’t make it and be out on the streets and addicted to drugs. They told me this twice in the same way. Once when I was an eighth grade while selecting an elective, and once when I switched my major in College without them knowing, telling them and then they told me they wouldn’t pay for something that was worthless so I had to switch to something they’d agree on, which was business management.

As mentioned before I burnt out very quickly because I was in a degree that I hated and college that I loathed and didn’t want to go to. So my excuse for quitting was I will just work full-time at the business. Be like dad when I grew up (he never completed college either just some CLEP tests and that was pretty much it) and eventually take over when they thought I was ready.

Fast forward to when I was 19, I had a relationship with another woman. My parents previously had a daughter who came out and yet they shunned for being gay. I honestly thought and mistakenly thought that my experience would be better considering they treated me like the favorite child. That was not the case when I posted the status to Facebook (we were engaged) as an indirect way to coming out alongside telling my parents one evening, my mom told me how embarrassing it was for her and that I should’ve considered her feelings when I posted that and let everyone know.

At that point, I was so jaded and pissed off that I decided to confide into another family member— aka, their son (45 m at the time, my ‘brother’ yet also uncle. ((I’m adopted by my grandparents, forgot to mention…)) and spill the beans that he was written out of the will and will not get anything with the business. I know I know it’s not my place to discuss this, but the way she reacted to me coming out was very volatile and I didn’t know how else to react or what to do. Well unfortunately, he called obviously drunk, and told our mom that we were really close and that she didn’t know our relationship and that he knew everything about the will. Oops.

So as one could imagine, shit hit the fan, and hit it hard.

I learned very quickly what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that, yet I still feel like I had a reason to do so at that time.

Fast forward to Covid 2020. I fell out with my fiancé and broke up with her. I also had left my parents business for a different job. I got a temporary job at a phone company, and it worked for a little while due to my parents being on a cruise and out of the house for three months. But I quickly learned that they had really financially crippled me due to the pay being so much different than what I was normally used to. Also, the Work life culture was nothing like I had experience back with their business so honestly, a little bit underprepared.

Anyways, during this time, I had met my now six year relationship with an incredible boyfriend who supports me in every aspect of my life. In the beginning, he didn’t think my parents were this terrible, but as time went on, he saw their true colors. And boy did their true color shine.

In 2022 I had enough once more and tried no contact or at least minimal contact with my parents, but that backfired horribly once again. I had to go over to their house during Mother’s Day of all things and basically have a fight with my parents, explaining to them how I felt, brought receipts of things that had happened to me in the past (journal entries) and yet they told me I was mentally unstable and that wasn’t good to remember those things.

Now speaking of 2022 it was also in the same year that my father hired a different CEO because he wanted to retire. This CEO had personally come to me once and told me he was uncomfortable about how I was dressing. The outfit I had worn was already previously approved by my mother but yet he told me I could not wear it and I had to go home and change. I felt very grossed out, wrote a formal complaint and took it to my supervisor.

So how Mother’s Day happened is because of what happened with the sexual harassment case. My father was told this by my supervisor and then called me into his office, shut the door and told me if I didn’t quit this “nickel and dime shit” (I have all of this recorded, by the way) that I could forget about having a job there. Also, that my mom was very hurt on “how I was treating her” and if she died of a broken heart, I could forget about any family relations. He also proceeded to talk about my birth father, their son, (who passed away early when I was 11) in very graphic detail, and it was disturbing. (He tried attempted suicide when he was younger and they told me they weren’t going to keep him alive at one point in the hospital.) So, that was mentally scarring.

After that incident and Mother’s Day, I decided to shut up and basically not argue with them. Don’t go against the flow, just do as they say. Keep in mind they are very right wing conservatives. So even if I disagree politically, I could not speak up. I had to put on an act in front of them that I was reformed and going to be their perfect daughter who never disagreed with anything and was basically a miniature them. I hated it. I hated not being able to defend anybody at work, I hated, and I mean hated not being able to defend myself and having to basically agree with them on everything.

Now up to speed four years later. I climbed my way up through several questionable methods and now am in a basically empty CEO title. More on than that later.

Recently in June, my parents decided to fire our Insurance biller. This Insurance biller and I had a pseudo parent relationship that my mother did not appreciate and was very jealous of. She always reminded me to keep a work like professionalism with coworkers and I shouldn’t have friends and shouldn’t make friends while working. But before this though they let go of their nurse practitioner (in May) who wanted a five dollar raise but was told no because it wasn’t in the budget yet they turned around and hired an old employee ten dollars more for the same position. Obviously she came to me. And it is not a crime to discuss wages so I told her because she asked, and even if I hadn’t told her, she would’ve figured it out very quickly since she already knew who was replacing her without anyone telling her who it was.

She left with no further word until the next day. My clinical Director told me that she had called very upset, saying that this wasn’t right and it was discrimination (she’s Latina and the new NP is White.) Obviously I knew what goes around comes around. I knew telling her would probably result this. I knew, but at this point, I was starting to care less and less. At that current time I called her back and ask if everything was OK and she told me she just wanted to vent and that she wished me all the best.

Back to the insurance biller being fired. She and my parents have butted heads on multiple occasions, plainly because my parents do some questionable shit down at the business and she didn’t agree with it. They hate anyone that does not listen to “their way or the highway” basically. This employee also made at that time, empty threats to sue and my clinical Director and I had actually had it under control, but my parents were done. No convincing them at all despite our warnings.

So when she came back from her two week trip, I had to deliver the termination letter with my clinical Director
as witness. Before I could explain ourselves, she took the letter, told us that we better get a good lawyer and ripped up the letter while walking down to her cubicle and basically shredding, tossing and destroying a lot of stuff.

Now, with the new biller that we hired to replace her said that she had a lot of experience. This was not the case as I learned later on (not to mention with what the previous employee had done destroying insurance related stuff too.) Fast-forward to now in August, we are still without insurance payments and it is hurting the company financially. My parents are obviously worried about the finances and the business, and kept saying that the Insurance biller screwed them over and they couldn’t believe this when it was themselves who shot holes into their own ship, but did not want to admit fault.

My role as CEO is basically to do anything that my father told me to do. He also would tell my clinical Director and she would tell me what to do as well. My title is empty. I am basically micromanaged at this point. If I make any big decisions, I get told I shouldn’t have done so and I should’ve told them first.

Well, my father called me and asked me the question, “what does a salary employee mean to you?” (back then in February he switched me from hourly to salary, giving me a five dollar raise putting me at way higher than somebody should have been paid which I warned against, but they didn’t listen) anyways I told him a salary employee gets paid whether they are there or not. But he told me that was not the case that I still had to take out my PTO when I missed days. He incorrectly told me that I had to put a minus in front of any PTO hours I took when we process Payroll he did not understand that doing so would actually give me hours. He told me it was unfair that my PTO was accruing when others employees were not (we cap at 40 sick and 80 vacation) he also told me that since I hadn’t been taking out PTO every time I took off work that have me switch back to an hourly employee so that I could use my PTO. I told him I would actually prefer that that way I could start earning overtime again. Because in where I work salary employees aren’t allowed overtime. It isn’t in the rulebook, but it is a verbal warning that my dad had put out there in the past for salary employees.

He then got really mad when I mentioned overtime and told me that I wasn’t allowed overtime, and that it wasn’t fair that the CEO got overtime when others didn’t. Keep in mind since February I had not taken any overtime even when I had stayed past more than two hours of my regular shift. Never once complained, never once asked for extra money. I never once cared that I stayed over. I knew I needed to stay over because it was important and I needed to do the insurance because that was the most important thing at that time. Not to mention outside a normal work hours I run errands for the business without question without gripe come early leave late basically all of that even though they know that they don’t really care that I do it and probably expect me not to expect to get paid because I’m family.

(Quick note, earlier before that, my parents called and talked to both myself and the clinical Director about the insurance and said it was really important and that I didn’t understand the severity of it all and that if they didn’t get paid, I wouldn’t get paid. I explained to them I hadn’t been there in the morning due to a doctors appointment, but my mother basically told me that it wasn’t as important as the insurance there and that I wouldn’t be able to pay for my doctors appointments if I didn’t get this Insurance completed for them.)

So since February, (I calculated) I have 23 hours in unpaid overtime and God knows how much overtime I missed in the last three years. Three years is important because he basically is having both myself and another Payroll manager deduct time from the time clock and not even pay attention to the 15 rule. If somebody clocked in at 7:30, we would write 8 to 4 instead of 7:30 to 4. Wage theft as it is but he said that he talked to a lawyer and that we’re a small business and the 15 minute rule does not apply to us.

But now that I am barred from getting overtime, I basically in the last two days since the encounter have stopped work right at the dot at 4 PM and leave my task for the next day. Currently, I am testing out a theory as he told me Work errands would be paid for and it’s already past 8 AM as I’m writing this and I had called Work letting them know I would be late for a work related errand. So we will see how that goes.

Either way I’m basically done. I don’t know what to do. I’m looking for other work. I’m not sure if I will ask for that overtime being paid but I’m done at this point. I have really no resources or funds to move or the chance to move so it’s difficult. Thankfully, I am living with my boyfriend and not them still so that’s a plus but it’s a whole can of worms on that subject too so. Any advice would be appreciated as I’m basically at a loss and really really want to go nuclear, but I am unsure of how to do so.

TL:DR - I’ve worked for my entitled parents for about 10 years, enduring their constant shit. Told that I was not allowed to get overtime and that I shouldn’t earn overtime. On that note, I’ve decided to quit work right at the dot because I don’t get paid to stay later. Any task that I had done for outside of normal work hours will now be halted to a stop no questions asked.

Thanks for everybody who’s gotten this far and read the entire thing, it is much appreciated. If you have questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability. Thanks once more.

I'm 20 and I live with very protective/restrictive parents. I'm at a point where I genuinely feel suffocated and I want to start experiencing the world independently.

Recently, I told my mother that I'm participating in Hyrox Mumbai. My plan is basically to travel from Nashik to Mumbai, stay for around 24 hours, participate in the event, rest at a hotel, and come back.

It's not like I'm planning to do anything illegal. I'm not trying to drink, smoke, party all night, or sleep with random guys. I'm literally talking about travelling to another city, participating in an organised obstacle-course event, staying somewhere safe, and coming home.

My mother immediately started questioning why I wanted to go alone and said that she and my family could come and watch me. Honestly, I don't even have a problem with them coming to watch me. If they want to be there, fine. The problem is that they tend to make fun of me afterwards — imitating how I did something, making comments, laughing about me, etc. So the idea of having them there isn't necessarily comforting to me.

More importantly, I want to experience the world alone.

I'm 20. I don't want to reach 25 or 30 and realise I've never travelled anywhere independently because I always needed my parents to accompany me. I want to learn how to book my own transportation, navigate a different city, stay in a hotel, solve problems myself, manage my own schedule, and generally function as an independent adult.

I also have a brother with special needs, and if my parents come, my mother would have to spend the entire time looking after him as well. So I genuinely don't understand why she would want to take on that additional responsibility just to watch me participate in an event.

The bigger issue is that this isn't just about Mumbai.

My parents constantly bring up things like my weight, my appearance, my studies, my driving, etc.whenever we're discussing something completely unrelated. My mother will tell me to "live in the present" or suddenly bring up another issue, and the original conversation gets completely derailed.

I've tried communicating calmly. I've tried explaining myself. I've tried sitting down and talking about these things multiple times.

It doesn't work.

So I'm not really looking for the usual advice of "just communicate with your parents and make them understand." I've already tried that repeatedly.

I want to know how other people have dealt with this situation.

I don't want to "rebel" by doing something dangerous or stupid. I don't want to lie about where I am, disappear for days, or deliberately put myself in risky situations just to prove a point.

I want non-aggressive ways to establish independence and create my own space.

For people who grew up with very protective/restrictive parents: how did you actually start gaining freedom? Did you gradually start doing things independently? Did you set boundaries? Did you simply start making certain decisions yourself?

I'm looking for practical advice from people who have actually been through this.

PS: If your first thought is "communicate with them and make them understand," I've already tried that multiple times. I'm specifically looking for ways to gain independence when talking hasn't changed anything.

Edit: Thank you so much y'all for the suggestions.....after I read every comment I realize that my biggest weak points are that I am overweight and have no financial independence.....please suggest me how to make money online as a beginner

ALSOOOO I don't have any friends (so people from my city hmu)

Trigger warning: mental health; suicidal depression

Some Context:

So, I should've been put into therapy earlier in my life (ex. outside of horrible self-esteem and an abusive grandma, I used to have panic attacks every other day, trouble focusing in school, etc.) but my parents' stance has either been "I was just like that as a kid... It's completely normal" (no, that's ADHD and mental illness), or you have to do it yourself and therapy and drugs are a last resort. Growing up in that situation/belief system I saw "asking for help" as a personal failure and a weakness on my part.

After years of "pushing through it," I snapped when I was 19 and went through a major depressive episode. I had to beg for therapy (needed to fill out forms for my dad's insurance and it was COVID so all of my schools mental health professionals almost NEVER had an opening).

Story:

Every time I went to therapy when I was 19, my mom made sure to pick me up and would ask me what I talked about. I do not think asking "how was therapy" or telling someone "hey if you ever need help processing something from therapy, I'm here" is unreasonable (with the latter being offered like once max), but she wanted the full breakdown (pun intended).

She wanted to know what exactly I was telling my therapist. I, uncomfortable and not really understanding why at the time, would be vague and say "school" or "stuff," but it was never enough. My mom would then get teary-eyed about how I never talk to her anymore and she misses when I used to tell her things. She just doesn't know how to help me!

So I, young and having grown up in a codependent household, would give her some details, having fallen for the guilt trap. For example, I would be like "oh well I talked about grandma being abusive." Then I would get a million questions that all were kind of concerned with my mom - "did you tell him that we gave you the option to hangout with her and that you only have to see her for holidays and big events" "did you tell him that she's bad to everyone and not just you" "did you tell him we try to defend you."

I know now it was an interrogation more than a conversation. But it still continues. My mom wants to know when my appointments are and what I talk about. She doesn't press as much (especially cause I don't give her any details, esp. when my appointments are), but this woman cannot take a hint. She still tries to guilt trip, but I am a little immune to it, especially cause most of the time it doesn't make any sense (ex. when I said I didn't really want to talk about therapy, she asked why and I said that it's private and I don't want to... She started to tear up being like "when did you ever want privacy from me?" Like always? I've never been outgoing but like everyone is at least a little private?).

It's one of the many things that my mom does that makes me ask myself "why is she like this?" For people who are reading this and have had similar experiences with a parent/have been guilted into talking about therapy, if you don't know this already, you don't owe anyone the details of your therapy sessions - you're allowed to keep some things private!

My mom is 70 and my stepdad is 60. They’re Pentecostal, very conservative, and can be pretty judgmental. I love my mom very much. She raised me by herself and has always done her best for me, so I don’t want to make her out to be a bad person. But lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve reached my limit.

My girlfriend, our 3-year-old son, my mom and stepdad all live together. The house was transferred into my name about 3 years ago. Every two weeks when I get paid, I give my mom around $600, which is roughly 75% of my paycheck, to help cover the household expenses. My girlfriend gives her another $400 every two weeks. Between the two of us, we’re contributing around $2,000 a month toward the household. My mom also watches our son while we’re working, which I genuinely appreciate because she doesn’t charge us for childcare. My stepdad helps watch him too, and they both love our son.

The problem is that they constantly criticize things we do as parents. They don’t like that we keep our son’s hair long in a mullet because they think it’s “for girls.” One time we let him play with face paint and my mom almost lost it. They’re very conservative and have strong opinions about how we should raise him.

Then there’s what happened with our kitten.

About three weeks before we got the kitten, my stepdad had to go to Florida because his son had surgery. While he was gone, we got a kitten who was about 6 weeks old. She was honestly an amazing cat — extremely affectionate, always wanted to be around us, and even loved jumping into the bathtub when we showered.

When my stepdad came back, suddenly we started hearing constant complaints about the cat. We were told cats are dirty and that children can get infections or diseases from being around them. Then my mom suddenly said she was allergic.

We tried to accommodate them. We kept the kitten primarily in our bedroom and did our best to respect their concerns.

About a week after my stepdad returned, the kitten disappeared.

I strongly suspect they got rid of her and dumped her somewhere because they didn’t want her there, but they refuse to admit what happened. We had a huge argument about it, and we didn’t speak for about five days. Eventually we just went back to normal without ever resolving it.

I haven’t brought the cat up again because I honestly feel like I’ll just get angry and we’ll have another huge argument. But the whole situation has really bothered me.

The cat was kind of the breaking point for me because it made me realize how little control I feel like I have over things in a house that is technically in my name.

I’m also struggling with the fact that my stepdad doesn’t work and doesn’t seem to make an effort to find work. My girlfriend and I are working and paying the majority of the household expenses while raising our 3-year-old.

Part of me feels guilty even thinking about moving out and letting my mom and stepdad deal with the bills themselves. Another part of me thinks that since the house is in my name and I’m contributing so much financially, I have the right to establish boundaries about what happens in the home.

I don’t want to “abandon” my mom after everything she’s done for me. She’s my mom and I love her. At the same time, I don’t want my girlfriend, my son, or myself to spend years feeling like we’re guests in a house where we’re paying most of the bills.

So I’m genuinely looking for outside opinions.

Would I be an asshole for either:

Moving out and letting my mom and stepdad take responsibility for the house and its bills themselves, or
Telling them that since the house is legally in my name, they need to move out?

I know there’s a lot more to the situation than just the cat. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being selfish or whether I’ve simply reached the point where I need to put my own household and boundaries first.

What would you do in my situation?

I’m (22F) and live with my dad who’s actually mentally psychotic ngl. I am married to my husband and we have a son together, and I want to live with him in his country. However, my dad has a dog that he NEVER and I mean NEVER takes care of and dumps it all on me to take care of. He doesn’t feed it, take it for walks, or clean up after him. My dad has tons of jobs so the dog is always alone at home and thinks that I should be responsible for watching it. The dog is also labeled as a “emotional support dog” but my dad actually never interacts with the dog and always wants him in my room. This is so tiring because it’s restricting my life and I want to go out and do things and live with my husband. I can’t even go to my mom’s house for 1 night because he’s always asking “who’s gonna watch the dog?” Full on tells me “no”. My dad is really crazy and if my mom talks to him about anything, he says he’ll get the court involved, but me nor my mom have never signed anything court related and I think he just does this to scare us. What should I do because I only get one life and I don’t want to spend it being trapped inside a home to watch over a dog.

EDIT: What I meant by the title is, should I transfer the title of my car to MYSELF after this? Haha, realized that can be misleading. Have no idea how I could do this without his signature, though.

To preface this, my grandma on my dad’s side (90) gave me my current car for my HS graduation over 8 years ago. Since being given the car, I have paid every bill for repairs, my insurance for it, and everything else.

My siblings were not yet driving yet, so we all decided at the time that I would get it. My brother bought his own car a year later, and my NB sibling does not drive due to their disability.

The title for my current car is under my parent’s name due to a lower insurance rate. This is important for later.

We are now all 26, and live at home with our parents.

We were all having a discussion about my grandma soon giving up her car, and in the possibility she may give it to one of us, we were deciding who would take it. (I do have to say, we are very lucky to even have this possibility.) Both of my parents bought out their leases of their 2025 cars, my brother owns a 2017 car, and mine is a 2008.

I do not NEED a new car like my grandma has, and I told them that- my car is in great shape and only at 75k miles, and plus, I’ve never had to buy one before, so I have been lucky enough to not have a car payment. Somehow, due to the age of my car, everyone came to the conclusion that they would let me have it.

My dad speaks up though and says, “So, in the case that she gives it away again and you take her newer car, I will be selling your current one and using the money for our bills, or selling the new car and doing the same.” When everyone at the table protested and I got upset, he just sat back and laughed and said, “Why do you think you would get anything from the sale?”

While I understand that he and my mom aren’t doing the best financially, I was given my current car as a gift and have paid every bill for it. Say I were to buy myself a new car anyway while living here - would he decide that he would get the money from that too? Or anything else valuable that I sell? It doesn’t make sense.

While this is definitely a hypothetical, it has me thinking about possibly transferring the title to me, despite the higher insurance cost. However, I have learned that he will have to sign off on that.

On one hand, this behavior doesn’t surprise me much, due to him emotionally abusing all 4 of us (siblings and mom) all of our lives, however I didn’t think he would go this far. I am just now afraid that not only my car but the ownership of all my possessions are in question.