My mom thinks my apartment is basically her second home just because she is "family"
I finally moved out about six months ago and I thought I was finally going to have some peace. I love my mom but she has no concept of personal space or boundaries at all. When I first signed the lease she kept asking when she would get her copy of the key. I told her multiple times that I am not giving out keys to anyone yet because I want to get settled first. She acted all hurt and said she only wanted it in case there was a leak or some kind of emergency. I knew that was a lie because back when I lived in the dorms she would just show up unannounced and start going through my drawers while I was in class.
Last Tuesday I was in the middle of a really important Zoom call for work. I work from home three days a week and my boss is super strict about distractions. Suddenly I hear someone jiggling the doorknob and then loud banging. It was my mom. She was shouting through the door for me to let her in because she had groceries for me. I had to mute my mic and run to the door to tell her I was busy. When I opened it she immediately tried to push past me into the kitchen. She was annoyed that the door was locked in the middle of the day and said it was "disrespectful" to lock her out when she is just trying to be a good mother.
The real blowup happened yesterday. I found out from my sister that mom actually went to a local locksmith and tried to describe my key from memory to get a copy made. Obviously they told her no because she doesnt have any proof of residence but she was furious. She called me screaming about how I am treatng her like a criminal. She kept saying that she has a right to access my home because she gave birth to me and raised me. I told her that those things have nothing to do with each other and that I am a 24 year old adult who deserves privacy.
She ended the call by saying she is going to tell the whole family that I am "abandoning" her. I am just so tired of the constant guilt trips and the feeling that I am never allowed to have anything that is just mine. My dad is staying out of it like he always does but my aunts are already starting to text me asking why I am being so mean to her. Has anyone else dealt with a parent who thinks they are entitled to a key to your life just because they raised you. I feel like I am losing my mind trying to explain basic respect to a grown woman who should of known better.