How do I deal with this fear of failing my parents?
My brother is 30+ and a BS Electrical Engineering graduate. During his university years he completely stopped focusing on his studies because he got involved with a girl (who is also our cousin). His mental health was really bad during that time, he became rude to us for no reason and my grandfather told us he used to fight with her on the phone until 5am. I caught him doing this many times too.
After graduation he married her. His CGPA was 2.1 and his transcript was full of Ds. His first salary in Pakistan was only 30k. My father had to sell his own car to pay for the wedding.After marriage my father pushed him to go abroad for better opportunities but he did not want to leave his wife. He eventually went but things did not get better. Right now he is working at a very small firm earning only 2000 dirhams. My successful cousins are also in the same country and they tell me he is always on his phone. One of them referred him for a job interview and the company said he only knows about 10% of his own field.He now has a son. But he is still financially dependent on my father. My father also offered him money to start his own solar business and he refused that too.I respect my brother. He is kind and he helps me a lot. But I always have this complaint in my heart that why did he not try harder. He had every chance to settle down properly and make our parents proud.
Now I am 22 and just starting out. My father once told me that his hopes are on me now. I feel scared every single day. What if I fail too? What if I also cannot make my parents happy? I wake up every day and try my best but this fear just does not go away.
How do i deal with it?