r/PakistaniiConfessions

24M here so the thing is that I spent almost 23 years of my life being the funny fat guy whose face had acne so predictably I never got any attention from the opposite gender and my confidence was too low bcz of my appearance so I decided to change that thing about myself so around 14/15 months ago i joined a nice gym hired a trainer started taking a nice diet and also did some skin care too and now Alhamdulillah i am not that fat guy anymore i am much fitter than those days and skin is also good but the confidence hasn’t improved yet. Now i get attention from girls some hit on me too i swear u believe it or not but i used to like a girl i told her and she refused straight forward but now she wants yo get with me 😭 will tell this whole story some other day but the problem is that I don’t know how to process that attention from girls and how to react to it .what do i do now? If someone can help me with this i will be thankful

Okay so my 27M adult partner says peach malt is best right before freezing point. According to him, if your Peach Malt isn’t hovering at the edge of existence between liquid and solid, you are wasting your time. I tried chilling it to his exact specifications and I just can't tell the difference, bruh 😭😭 Whats his problem? At this point, I am convinced that he’s delusional 🥲.

How often do you meet your university friends after graduation?

And what did you actually gain from them?

• what did you learn from them?
• how did they help in your life or career?
• do those connections still matter after university?
• how often do you still meet or talk to them?

I’m asking seriously because I’m trying to decide if university is actually worth it or not beyond just the degree

Not a single day, not a single morning or a single night have I not remembered him and miss him. I can be at work, in the middle of the happiest most joyous occasion, I can be talking to you ….. heck even brushing my teeth in the morning and I see my dad looking into the mirror like he used to.

Time only allows you to master the art of performative function or hits you with other crises that momentarily take over - the loss remains fresh in mind and heart.

Prostitution is a serious problem that is going on in Pakistan, well everywhere but im talking about pakistan here. I have done my research, talked with guards and police patrols, talked with 2 very good friends who have done it and have also done online research.

The argument for prostitution is that men need sex and sex through a dignified way is very hard and cumbersome to get. While with a prostitute u just have to pay her moreover even if u have a wife or a girlfriend u still have to spend money on her to keep her interested, which sounds somewhat similar to prostitution. Plus with prostitutes u get what u want and youre out of their no strings attached and no commitments, sounds good for guys who are afraid of commitment.

But the arguments against it are stronger which i discussed in my previous post they included, risk of stds, legal risks, getting harrassed or robbed, getting addicted and feelimg bad about urself. A lot of ppl took it as a joke, but for the guys who donot know this, this is a serious problem a lot of people make money doing this especially in punjab, heera mandi was not a joke it genuinely existed. A lot of girls doing this are trafficked and there are a lot of underaged girls doing it aswell. You will be shocked to hear that there are actual parents both mothers and fathers who send their daughters to pimps to do this.

Next, a lot of married men are involved in it who have wives waiting in their homes or even wives who know about it but are too scared to say anything. Every socioeconomic class is involved in this, lower class, middle class, upper class and elite class with the prices ranging from 2000-a few crores. Yes, crores.one of my friend who is older than me told me that back in the day a showbiz star female, wont mention her name used to supply girls for 1-2 crores each, back in the early or mid 2000s.

And regarding my post, why i made it? A lot of young guys or even older ones do it out of curiousity to see what its like and with no one to talk to they end up doing the forbidden and later either regret it or get addicted to it. The point is that it all starts out curiousity they just want to know what it's like. Plus a lot of people who visit them have terribles lives or mindsets should i say, they stress a lot and visiting a prostitute for sex seems like the only fun and pleasurable thing to do, it creates a contrast between their dull life and a life of thrill. And this is also where the addiction part comes in.

I know this might sound weird, but the topic of crimes really interest me, i have researched a lot on the qabza mafia, drug trafficking, prostitution, kidnappings, robberies and other crimes. Drugs are the next topic that i would like to talk about but similar to prostitution a lot of people do it and will get offended by me opposing it. So i will have to deal with the hate.

Lastly, for anyone thinking about doing. Dont, pray to Allah and ask for help, trust me Allah will save you however u will have to reach out to him by kneeling down on ur knees.

I need to vent because I am completely drowning in regret, anger, and depression right now.
A while back, I decided to marry a girl I met. From day one, my traditional parents wanted to control every single aspect of the wedding. It became a toxic cycle: my fiancée and I would make a decision, my parents would guilt-trip me and claim I was "excluding them," I would back out to please them, and then my fiancée would understandably get frustrated with me.
The issues started immediately with the engagement. My fiancée wanted a small, simple home event. My family demanded a massive, expensive party. I couldn't stand up to my parents openly, so I fought with my fiancée to please them, only to cave at the last second and do the small event anyway. Nobody was happy, and my dad taunted me for a long time about the choices made, even though I was paying for everything.
I live and work abroad, and while I was away, my family went completely radio silent. When wedding planning started again, they objected to the timeline. My parents and sister were more interested in what expensive clothes and gifts I was buying them than asking how I was managing financially. They constantly reminded me they had no money to help, yet expected me to fund luxury for them.
Things hit a boiling point when my parents went to her house for a discussion, and a literal fight broke out between both families. After that, my family cut off all communication with her side for a long time. Right around this crisis, I lost my job. I was unemployed for a grueling year, drowning in severe depression and financial stress. Culturally, my parents were supposed to handle the family-to-family communication during this time, but they completely abandoned me to deal with her family alone.
When I finally landed a job and went back home to fix things, my family showed zero happiness. My mom complained about me taking my fiancée out, claiming it went against "tradition." My sister demanded I buy her multiple sets of outfits and jewelry for the wedding events. My dad gave me the usual guilt trip: "Since you decided everything on your own, just send us an invite." No one asked how she was, and no one welcomed her.
Eventually, the relationship with my fiancée was completely ruined. I was trying to defend my family out of some misplaced loyalty, while she was deeply resentful of how they had treated her. Mentally, I was totally depleted from the job loss and depression. Finally, the stress caused things to get toxic between us, she said some disrespectful things about my family, and in a state of absolute breakdown, I ended the relationship.
I didn't tell my parents for over a week, and they didn't even bother to ask how things were going. The day before I flew back abroad, they taunted me again, I snapped, told them it was over, and left.
I always thought that once my finances and mental health stabilized, I would reach out to her and fix it. But after a few months of silence, I just found out she is already engaged to someone else.
I am devastated. I feel like I was trapped in an impossible situation where I tried to please everyone and lost the person I loved. I recently confronted my mother about how their constant demands and lack of support ruined my life, and all she had to say was that it was a "misunderstanding."
I deeply resent my family right now. I'm sitting here abroad, questioning every decision I made, and struggling to process this grief.

https://preview.redd.it/vw85xxhyof2h1.jpg?width=515&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0f894ecd28e39cb6af65933e7d4c9343c14eb06

Now I understand😭😭😭

I don’t really know how to put this into words properly, but I needed to get it out somewhere.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been walking around 16km to my office every day because I simply don’t have money for transport. I got scammed by a company that hasn’t paid my salary for months, and I’m currently stuck in a situation where I have no income at all.

On top of that, I have a wife to take care of and I’m struggling to even manage basic expenses like food. My family isn’t in a position to support me either, so I’m kind of on my own right now.

I’m trying to hold things together and keep showing up to work, but I honestly feel exhausted, mentally and physically. I’m stuck waiting until the 5th, hoping things somehow get better by then, but right now I don’t really know what to do or how to manage until then.

I’m not sure what I’m expecting from posting this. Maybe advice, maybe just to know I’m not alone in going through something like this. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any practical suggestions for getting through a stretch like this, I’d really appreciate it.

I’m curious about this and wanted perspectives from both men and women, especially people who are married, engaged, or seriously considering marriage.

Did you discuss the number of kids you wanted before marriage or during the talking stage? Is that considered a normal/reasonable thing to bring up with a potential partner?

Also, do most men generally prefer big families if finances aren’t an issue, or are smaller families becoming more common now?

As a woman, if she strongly prefers only 1–2 kids, is that usually seen as a red flag or taken negatively during marriage talks?

Just wondering how people in Pakistan usually approach this topic and what kind of reactions are generally expected. And what is general preference for men and women, when it comes to number of kids and gap between kids.

I am so sad and cant stop feeling anxious and upset. (27 f).

Asalamualaikum

I understand what my parents (mainly mom) are doing but also, I am feeling so panicked and sad about an upcoming meeting. We never have people come to our house and we never go anyones house. I am not a bubbly girl or social and I dont have a normal big close family of cousins/aunts/uncles/relatives etc that others have.

I am terrified. I let myself go and do not look my best/am overweight/bad posture and short thin hair that doesn't grow. I have been depressed for ages and i have social anxiety.

Basically, I am going to be 28 in a week and my parents were extremely impractical in my marriage search. They didnt do anything.

And now, all of a sudden, they're rushing to get me married. I think its because they weren't bothered all these years or bc of their own issues. I have a legit worry that the man is going to settle for me and vice versa.

Now , they're hearing about all the relatives who are younger than me are having kids or getting married. They feel very embarrassed now. My dad is the worst wali you could ever imagine. I have no other wali.

They were also so neglectful all my life and still are. They never ever supported me with what I wanted. I wasn't and still am not heard properly or listened to.

I am the eldest daughter/child They raised to shrink and be obedient /submissive. I am an avoidant/disorganised avoidant with self esteem and confidence issues.

I am always being shut down.

Anyway, I know that i need to get married one day but I am nervous as hell to have any meetings or meet a guy or have this drastic change in my life.

A year or 2 ago, I was finally sort of healed and ready but my parents antics and life has put me off it all again.

One of my conditions was to not have the first meeting or talk inside our house. There's many many reasons for me deciding this.

I have never ever had a relationship or met a guy to have marriage talks in my life btw.

Turns out, my mother, has arranged an entire family to come to our house in 3 weeks. I am so angry. They always do stuff like this. They are so chaotic.

She was sick of my dad not doing his fatherly duties so after so many years of not supporting me when I told her about good matches I found on halal apps like sunnah match, she asked her friend to find someone. I found such good men a few years ago or 1 year ago and their mothers would directly message her. She ghosted them ALL.

I even made her join cv WhatsApp groups so she could message people herself but, she went to a friend and she's now not giving up the idea just because her friend suggested it. Her friend is part of a naqshbandi Pakistani barelvi sufi zikir group who follow a pir.

I dont even know what he looks like or anything about him. I dont know if he knows what I am like but my mother has invited him and his entire family to the house! I already suffer from severe social anxiety so I am so so worried and depressed.

My neglectful controlling parents have always put me in the deep end.

I have no support regarding all this. I dont know what to do..

All these years, the parents made excuses after excuse to not get me married . When people asked them how old am I or something about marriage, she'd lie and say im still studying. Allah knows how many men approached my dad about me and he rejected them all without me even knowing. All my traditional minded dad thinks about is what their status is and what village they're from back home. He is a narcissistic person who has control over us and its always his way or no way. He doesnt listen to anyone.

If I had it my way, I would legit marry a muslim of any ethnic background and I would be happy to.

Hes the type of man who just prioritises making money yet our entire family is in poverty and we're looked down on by society and the whole community for various reasons. We are gossiped about so much and other muslim families have prejudiced or judgmental views towards us.

He has for sure rejected good men that would have been amazing for me and my future.

This sums up my parents in general- they never ever in their lives gave an atoms thought about their daughters future or life. (They have no sons).

No matter how much the daughters wanted to take the opportunities that Allah had sent to them, the parents would sabotage it somehow.

I kid you not, I believe my own mother does evil eye towards me when I excitedly tell her my goals or plans of some sort. The plans have never fruitioned.

I have tried my best to do all the inner work from sunnah marriage courses to applying for therapy or researching premarital counselling.

They never let me leave the house.

I am fed up of life and just want to disappear and feel free. I wouldn't mind meeting someone for myself but I 100% know it wouldnt work out or get anywhere because of my family and parents. It would completely be a waste of time.

If any of u guys are thinking of paying and doing the deed dont do it trust me, the chase feels 10 times better than the catch, when you will finally be in the bed u will realize that it isnt as good as u imagined. Im not saying it will be bad, it can actually be if u donot find the girl attractive. Even if u do find the girl attractive it will still feel like ur masturbating the difference would only be little. Only sex when u r emotionally connected with that person will feel 10 times better than porn even if you donot find them that attractive trust me.

And im not even talking about halal and haram yet, you might feel the guilt u might not. But one thing is for sure, u will be disappointed to some extent atleast. Plus the legal side of things and the risk of getting hiv aids and herpes is at an all time high now stds are growing rapidly in pakistan, an hour of pleasure lets say is not worth it for having an incurable disease. Imagine urself with an std saying i wish i would not have done it. And even for a girlfriend try to find one that isnt ran through. Lastly 95% are scams they will either not even let u have sex, or u might have sex but u will get the police called on u after or get blackmailed with hotel footage. The police makes a lot of money doing this.

So please donot visit an escort, the risk to reward is not worth it at all. Unless u r very dumb and delusional and can convince urself that the prostitute is in love with you.

Edit: i did not visit anyone, i have 2 very close friends who did though. And they paid a very high amount in lacs.

I’m 21 (AMAB) but MTF (living as a woman) Indian Muslim (im asking here too because pakistanis are also desi muslims thus, can better understand my situation) and I’m really confused about my gender long-term and could use honest advice.

I’ve been living full-time as a woman for about 9 months now and I completely pass (i just naturally look very feminine without hormones). In both personal life and at work/professional life.

I have done HRT for 2 months but stopped (i will explain) but I’ve done stuff like laser/IPL hair removal, electrolyis, voice work, etc.

Before I transitioned I always had some dysphoria and a strong desire to be a girl. I never really liked being masculine and kind of only did it out of pressure. Now that I’m living as female, I feel a lot more happier in my life being seen by society as a girl and I honestly prefer it very much. Its much easier for me to make friends now, i made some female friend groups etc. I just feel more authentic compared to forcing myself to be all masculine and nonchalant in the past.

The issue is I’m Muslim and I do want marriage and biological kids in the future (I’ve already banked sperm but doing ivf etc might be a dealbreaker for a future wife hence the reason i stopped hrt to preserve natural fertility if i get married in 6+ years from now). But I’m stuck because:

If I stay as a woman, life feels more fulfilling and authentic to me, but I worry about how realistic marriage would be in a Muslim/rishta context. Because marriage and children are tied to long term fulfillment and eventually whats the point of getting to have my preferred gender at the cost of losing a legacy and a future family?

If I go back to living as a man, I feel like it would be really hard emotionally, SOCIALLY too, because masculine expectations already feel pretty uncomfortable/unnatural and very awful to me after living as female. I’m also only into women, so relationships are complicated either way since i would only be attracting someone bisexual or lesbian and in India goodluck finding someone muslim whose family would accept such a marriage.

So I just feel stuck between:
staying as I am (female social life, and personal life just feels better)
or going back to being male for cultural/family reasons (which feels really hard mentally for me)
I’m not trying to get biased or ideologically based answers (whether its people with transphobic rhetoric or pro trans rhetoric) just real advice from people who’ve dealt with gender + religion + family expectations.

What would you do if you were in my situation? I really dont know how i should live my life going forward? For example do i continue maintaining my female appearence since thats how i am seen socially now or do i have to gradually look more androgynous because i might start looking for marriage in a couple of years?

Even if i do ever go back to living as a man i would be quite effeminate looking because of my natural features + no facial hair body hair from electrolysis/laser and i dont want to build muscle since that will give me more dysphoria. And in india effeminate men are not treated very well so its literally between:

A. Being a feminine looking male whose dysphoric but can atleast get married have a family etc but have a tougher social and professional life

B. Living as a decent looking woman but stuck with no marriage or children prospects but has a better social and professional life

Its such a complicated dillema i really dont know what to do. Please help. I beg Allah every day in my prayers to help me come to a decision but this conflict in my mind is making me go crazy!

So I recently came across a Pakistani clothing brand and it seemed sooo off. All of its models were these young petite western girls. Maybe Turkish or Europeans idk. And they had all these minimalist and pretty cheap clothes probably targeting gen z audience. But the whole brand representation is weird considering the models dont even represent half the country's population AND THE COMPANY ISN'T EVEN REGISTERED IN PAKISTAN. I've heard mixed reviews from ppl who bought from it suggesting the quality isn't best. So the whole thing seems sketchy

Meny rishta search karna start kiya hai… aur Facebook / WhatsApp groups join kiye..

Itni ameer ameer, heavy profile wali families dekh k confidence hi hil gaya.

Her dosri profile:

“Own business, multiple properties, foreign settled relatives, 2 kanal house, luxury lifestyle…”

Aur phir sochta hun… agar in logon k rishtay nahi ho rahay… tou mera kia ho ga?

Mera CV tou bas itna kehta hai:

“Insaan acha hun… Munasib kamata hon or chai khud bana leta hun.” 😂

I’m 18 and my 2nd year is almost ending. Now I want to start university, but realistically I probably can’t get into LUMS or other top universities because of my numbers. Even universities like UMT feel difficult for me right now.

Most likely I’ll end up going to places like Superior or something similar.

But I’m extremely curious about people who studied at LUMS.

Not just academically — I want to know:

• how is the mindset there?
• how do elite/rich people think and talk?
• how do they approach life and work?
• what do most of them do after graduation?

Honestly, I also feel an inferiority complex in front of rich or elite people sometimes, so I wanted to ask:
How do you overcome that feeling?

And most importantly:
What is one extremely valuable lesson or thing you learned at LUMS that genuinely changed your thinking or life?

Would genuinely love honest answers from people who studied there.