u/Cultural_Prune167

TL;DR: Caught my GF of 4 years in a continuous web of calculated lies, including ghosting me for a week to hang out/take photos with other guys, making a fake social media account to hide a highly active real one, and using my name as a fake cover story to her family while she ignores me. When confronted, she promised to change, but within 10 minutes blew up in anger and told me "if you can't handle it, just break up." Should I give her another chance or walk away?

Full Post:

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years, and I have finally realized that the systematic lies, massive double standards, and manipulation have been happening continuously for our entire relationship. I recently uncovered the full extent of her deception, and I need advice on how to cleanly exit.

Here is the reality of what has been happening:

• The Birthday Lies & Attendance Fakes: Recently, I invited her out for a movie and to celebrate her birthday. She rejected me, claiming she had no attendance left in college and couldn't risk skipping. I just found out she actively skipped classes anyway on her birthday to go out and celebrate with a group of friends, including other guys. Out of 300 photos taken that day, she only sent me 4 heavily curated ones to keep me in the dark. In fact, whenever I ask her out, she uses the exact same excuse that she has no attendance—and whenever we are on a call, she abruptly cuts it saying she has a class to go to. I have now verified that she isn't even attending those classes.
• The Ghosting & Photos with Other Guys: She recently ghosted me for an entire week, claiming she was completely unable to call or contact me. I just found out the truth: during that exact week, she went out and took photos with other guys. When I previously asked her to share photos from that time, she hid them and refused to show me anything.
• The "1-Minute" Communication Flip: She constantly accuses me of "never speaking to her." But when I try to talk, she speaks to me for maybe 1 minute a day, says she is with friends, and hangs up. If I call back to establish basic communication, she calls me a "torturer" for calling.
• The Double Standard & Fake Profile: She relentlessly attacks and insults me for simply having a professional networking account, even though I informed her about it from day one. She claimed she didn't use the platform at all and even sent me a link to a completely fake, empty profile under her name to "prove" it. I dug deeper and found her real, hidden account. It has been highly active for months, featuring her uploaded certificates and thousands of reactions on posts from both guys and girls.
• The Constant Phone Alibis & Grandma's Intercept: Whenever I call her, her line is always busy, and she uses family members as a constant excuse. A few days ago, my grandma called her phone from an unknown number to test a theory. My girlfriend instantly cut my call to answer the stranger. When I called right back, she lied on the spot, claiming she had to cut me to speak to her family. Her brother has since explicitly confirmed to me that she rarely ever speaks to that relative.
• Using My Identity as a Shield: Her brother revealed to me that on a day she completely ignored me, she explicitly locked herself in her room, telling her family she was "going to talk to me." My phone logs show I never received a single call or text from her. She literally used my name as a fake cover story to get total privacy to talk to someone else, while making her family think I am the one causing her stress.
• The Current Situation: Just now, I tried talking to her about all of this. She briefly said she "won't do it again," but within 10 minutes, she flipped, became completely furious that I was "asking too many questions," and slammed the phone down on me. Before hanging up, she told me, "If you can't handle it, you should just break up."

Whenever I catch her in a lie, she uses physical touch to distract me, laughs it off to make me feel foolish, or cries hysterically to avoid accountability. Now she is giving me an ultimatum to either shut up and accept her lies, or leave.

Part of me is entirely done, but after 4 years, I am struggling with the emotional fallout. Should I actually give her one more chance, or should I take her up on her words and break up permanently right now? How do I cleanly cut ties with someone who has zero empathy and plays the victim every time she is caught red-handed?