[Complete] [36,500] [Lit Fic / Soft SF / Magical Realism] MONOLITHS
Hello! I am looking for a beta reader for my novella. This is the 4th or 5th draft, and I'm wanting to hone in on a final draft (if such a thing exists). Open to crit swaps. All genre and themes are acceptable, ideally of a similar length. Looking to have a final draft done and in the drawer by late summer, so sooner is better.
My main questions / concerns include:
- How is the pacing? Is it meandering at times? Too sporadic?
- Is there enough tension in the first half to want to continue reading?
- Do the characters feel multidimensional?
- Is the Tithing enough of a looming specter?
- Does the ending feel rushed?
I have some other questions I'd want to ask after someone reads it, and always welcome general notes for areas of improvement. .
Please let me know / dm me if you're interested! Thank you!
Content warnings -- illness, mentions of self-harm.
BLURB:
The metallic domes have begun to vibrate—another Tithing is imminent.
When Katherine Moore, a neurotic cancer scientist, wakes up to the news, she immediately drives cross-country to Denver to help her equally neurotic mother move before this world-stopping event. Back in her hometown for the first time in years, she reconnects with her childhood best friend, Freddy, a former scientist turned slacker musician. He spends his free time partying and drinking and reading Reuters and maniacally practicing his craft.
In Denver, Kath goes to parties, to concerts and movies, and everything feels so provincial. At home, Kath’s mom grows increasingly mean-spirited and erratic (who is the bald, gaunt man that only she sees?). And Kathy can’t stop reading about all the horrible events surrounding previous Tithings. Suicide cults and nuclear meltdowns, levees breaking and conflagrations. It is in this muddle that Kath navigates a rising internal pressure.
Meanwhile, as Freddy helps the Moores box up the sum total of their lived lives, he learns devastating secrets about Kath’s life, while separately coming to terms with those parts of himself he kept secret from his conscious mind.
EXCERPT:
Adam smiles and takes a big ol’ swig of his drink, his wife does the same. I look over and Kath is just stewing in embarrassment. She’s refusing to meet my eyes, and I just keep on looking at the girl. But then I break, and look to her grandparents. Something’s been bugging me.
“Hey can I,” I purse my lips, think real hard, “I have to ask um…” But then I trail off. It’s a hard thing, ya know?
“You’re a second son, Frederick.” Claire tells me.
“Grandson.” Her husband corrects her.
“You’re a second grandson.”
“… Is Janet alright?”
God. Claire’s got these kind eyes that can just kill ya if you let ‘em.
“How do you mean?”
“I just. I uh…”
“She’s on edge.” Adam fills in the blanks
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry about all that.”
And the old folk just both stare at me like I’m fresh back from the war, like they want to give me all the love in the world. Adam tells me then: