I felt more confident while I was being abused
It doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve been estranged from my abusive dad for six years and the rest of my dysfunctional family for 1-2 years. At first, I felt free and empowered. But as time goes on, I feel more and more depressed, suicidal, and lonely. I’m EXTREMELY insecure. I used to be very confident in my younger years. It’s only becoming more painful and more difficult. I’ve been in trauma therapy for five years. I think maybe it’s gotten harder because I became a mom two years ago and it’s just fucking lonesome. I wish I could just have a loving and supportive family.
Anyway, can anyone relate to feeling much more confident while being abused than you do now that you’re away from the abuse?