u/CupcakeCuppi

▲ 6 r/Advice

I am childfree… but sometimes I want a baby

I (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for 4 years. Our relationship is very solid, we work together, love each other a lot, and we both know we’ll probably get married someday.

A long time ago, we decided we do not want children. Neither of us really likes kids, and we’re both pretty sure that a childfree life fits us best. We’re even planning for him to get a vasectomy soon.

The thing is… sometimes I find myself wanting a baby.

Not in a “I want to raise a whole human being for 18+ years” kind of way, but more like this weird emotional feeling. Maybe it’s because I practically helped raise my little brother. He’s 8 now, but I was 15 when he was born, and I was basically like a second mother to him.

Sometimes I see old baby pictures of him and think, “aww, I want a baby.” But honestly, I think I want a baby the same way I want 10 puppies, I like the idea, the cute moments, the affection. I know myself well enough to know I would not actually enjoy the long-term reality of parenting.

My boyfriend has told me that if I ever truly wanted a baby, we would go with it, and it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for him. But I also don’t want to make such a huge decision just because I sometimes get emotional about babies.

And one thing I am completely sure about: I NEVER want to be pregnant or give birth.

So now I’m confused. Is it normal for childfree people to still sometimes feel emotional about babies? Or am I just overthinking because of nostalgia and hormones?

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u/CupcakeCuppi — 5 days ago