Stupid crush
I hate that I have feelings for you. It's so embarrassing! I know you don't like me the same way, you told me yourself.
I've never even met you, I don't really even know what your face looks like. You're really sweet, understanding and utterly kind. You're similar to being out in open water with the calmest of seas, the sun beaming down and a gentle breeze in the air. I can't get you out of my head. We've talked so intimately about our lives I think it's difficult to not have feelings for you. I just wish you felt the same way, even a little bit.
I love waiting for your stupid message at night time. I get so excited about it. I've thought about you. In terrible ways. In ways where we talk in hushed tones. You put your hands on me in places I've been begging you to in my mind. I can't stop biting my lip thinking about you as I type this.
I thought maybe you had caught feelings for me but you told me you hadn't. How idiotic of me to tell you. I wasn't ever going to tell you... because you're married. I don't want anything from you and you are too far away from me to enjoy anyway. But it doesn't stop me from wanting you.
I have this stupid little scenario in my head that I'll get to meet you and you tell me your divorced. Then I can't help but give you a flirty little smile and saying "interesting". We could see where the night takes us. I can't meet you if you're married. I'm too into you already.
I'm glad you didn't say that you liked me, really thinking about it. That would be so awful knowing that you're married and having feelings for me too, but GOSH I can't help wanting you, waiting for your message, wondering if you lied to me about your feelings. It's okay to lie. It's okay to want me too. You can't ever say it.