Finally Done
I’m a 27 year old male, who has taken a break from gambling for a few months since the Super Bowl but as of recently fell off the wagon. I don’t know why I just spiral, last night started at 9ish with the NBA playoffs and lost $250. Eventually I just kept putting in more and more bets till about 5am gambling on Japanese basketball and Australian Woman’s basketball just to re coup my losses. I hate the way I feel and act when everybody has no clue I just lost $2,300 in just a few hours and I’m too embarrassed to tell them. To make matters worse, my bank started to decline transactions so I went through Venmo to delay the posting and now I’m in the hole an extra $1000 I didn’t have just to try to recoup my losses. This is a never ending cycle and it makes me so sick and hate myself. GF left and I was super low on vibes and it’s so unfair to her, especially if it’s somebody I love and want to grow with and worst of all she has no idea I lost all (my) that money. On top of that I was supposed to do an activity with my 2 friends and now I backed out last minute because I fell asleep so late and BROKE and they just probably think I’m a scum bag but I’m too embarrassed to even tell them. Please do not gamble because it is so rocky/predatory and it ends with you going broke, hating your life, wanting to inflict pain to yourself and just self hate. If anybody please has some tips or stories they can share to make me feel like I’m not alone - I would gladly appreciate that, feel like I’m going crazy and I have this burning hole in my heart that stings and for some odd reason I still have the urge to gamble to try to recoup my losses. Anything is appreciated