Hi everyone, I need honest outside perspective because I feel really overwhelmed and confused.
I (male) have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. I’m bisexual and this is my first relationship with a guy. Things moved very fast—we see each other almost daily, we even started a business together, and he’s very emotionally and physically expressive. I’m more reserved and need space sometimes.
Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by:
\- constant physical affection (kissing, touching even when I’m busy or not in the mood)
\- emotional intensity (he says things like “I can’t live without you” and “we’re forever”)
\- feeling pressured to match his level of affection
I do love him, but I feel like I didn’t have time to naturally develop my feelings at my own pace.
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\### Situation 1 (today – grocery store / car)
We were at a grocery store and I suggested buying a slightly better chocolate because the price difference was small. He suddenly accused me of only saying that because a friend of mine (who I used to have a crush on before we dated) wanted to order.
I tried to explain it wasn’t about that, but he didn’t believe me and kept insisting it was suspicious.
I got overwhelmed and said something like “I’m a sick person, don’t do this to me” (I regret saying that), and he got upset saying I shouldn’t use that.
In the car:
\- I apologized
\- he became very emotional and said he’s going through a lot
\- then said he didn’t want me to come with him and dropped me at my car
I called to check on him, and he shouted on the phone and hung up.
I got worried and went to his apartment anyway. When I arrived, he suddenly acted calm and caring.
I told him I wanted to go home because I was overwhelmed. He refused to leave my car and said he wouldn’t get out. I had to tell him I’d call a friend before he finally got out.
Then he followed me with his car all the way home while I was crying.
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\### Situation 2 (delivery incident)
Another time we were delivering orders and couldn’t find a house. He got frustrated, took his phone from me, and then got upset because I wasn’t getting back in the car quickly (my back was hurting).
He ended up giving me both phones and left me alone to deliver the order. I had no way to contact him, and I was in the middle of nowhere. After finishing, I had to walk around trying to find the car, and he wasn’t there.
I felt really scared because I couldn’t reach him.
Later he came back and just asked how I was feeling.
\---
\### Situation 3 (shouting while driving)
Another time we were driving and I missed a turn. He shouted loudly, which scared me. Afterward he said he wasn’t shouting at me, just at the situation, and that he would never hurt me.
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\### Ongoing issues
\- When I say I don’t want sex, sometimes it still escalates into sex
\- He constantly initiates physical affection even when I’m busy, upset, or not in the mood
\- I feel like I don’t always have control over physical boundaries
\- When I need space, he struggles with it
\- He says he’s scared of being alone and can’t live without me
At the same time:
\- I know I’m a people pleaser
\- I sometimes hold in my feelings
\- I don’t express “I love you” as much as he does
\---
\### What’s confusing me
After all this, I found a handwritten letter from him saying:
\- I’m his everything
\- he can’t live without me
\- we’ll be together forever
So I feel like I’m dealing with:
\- very intense love
\- but also behavior that makes me feel overwhelmed, pressured, or even unsafe at times
\---
\### How I feel right now
\- exhausted
\- confused
\- guilty (like maybe I’m the problem)
\- scared after what happened
\- but also a bit relieved to be alone
\---
\### My questions
\- Am I overreacting?
\- Is this normal conflict or something unhealthy?
\- Are these red flags or just emotional stress?
\- How do I handle this without hurting him or losing myself?
I really care about him, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmed and unsure.
Any honest perspective would help.