I started having boundaries and no longer have friend 😮💨. Am I too harsh?
Hi everyone!
Writing this trying to figure out if I've gone too far and being too harsh.
I met my friends over a decade ago. Started with one sister then became friends with the whole family. At this point, we're considered family. I call the parents mom and dad. Although i am not home often, they still call to check on me.
Over the years we would have issues here and there, but would make up. I've always been the type of person who realize disrespect, talk about it and still keep the person around because "we've been friends for a long time". To be real, they were my only friends.
One of the sisters, although I've never addressed it, I know she talks badly behind my back. A big tell tell sign is that her best friend started acting weird around me. If we're all hanging out and start roasting each other, she always supports the best friend. On her bestie's birthday, she has posted that she's her son's only godmother.
The friend and I are her son's god mother. Last night her kids told me that the best friend said I'm a "fake godmother" and she did not want to say Hi to me. They're small kids so I doubt they would make it up.
Next is the other sister I was really close to. She's very opinionated, especially when we go on vacation. She does not like to plan, but is very open to share what she does and does not like. We went on vacation recently, out of the country. It was late, they wanted to stay out, but I wanted to call it a night. We were driving past a building I thought was our hotel and told them to just let me out so I could go in. They knew it wasn't the hotel, but still let me out and left. I had to find my way back to the hotel alone that night. When we came back home, they laughed about it and said I was acting crazy. I didn't find it funny at all. I was alone at night in foreign country which language I did not speak.
Additionally, I've noticed she has told her family personal things I've told her about my relationships. I could go on about things she has done to me over the years.
The brother, also used to be close. Recently stopped texting and answering my calls. (I'm okay with that now).
Now for my family, I finally cut my dad off because he has never cared about what I had going on until I started being financially stable. He kicked me out, did not even come to my graduation party because he thought my degree meant nothing. I still tried over the years to reach out, he didn't care. Now he wants a relationship but I'm not longer interested.
My sister (the newest one), I kept a relationship with her because of my niece, but she's been the type of person to ignore your texts and calls. She ghost even ppl who were there for her in times of need. She has no friends because of that. Years ago after my dad kicked me out, she was working I needed $20 to eat for the week while going to school. She said she would call me back when she got paid that Thursday. She never answered my texts or calls for years.
Since I've been more financially stable the past years, I've been there for her. Let her borrow money anytime she needs, buy my niece clothes, gifts, cooked and filled her house with food when she gave birth. But I just cut her off this week because she ignore my texts and calls for over a month while being on socials. Came back this week like nothing happened.
Now i am not saying I am without faults, but i just want to be loved properly by friends and family.
I have tried to be understanding and patient, but I'm at a point where I just want people who truly value, care about me and respect me in my life.
It gets lonely sometimes and makes me question my decisions. Am I being to harsh and unreasonable?
Should I be more patient and understanding? I know relationships require patience and grace but to what extent?