u/CurlSquirrel

Where I live in the USA, the heatwave has been at least 97°F/36°C, with the humidity making it feel like 105°F/41°C at a minimum. Thunderstorms rolled in yesterday and knocked out my power.

I do not do well with heat. When I start sweating I am significantly less able to handle everything. If my capability to handle shit is a glass, being too hot means the glass is practically full.

Plus heat throws off my internal everything, especially eating. I realized this morning that I hadn't actually eaten anything since 7pm last night and that was a poptart. So no real food for over 12 hours. But I still had to go to work. EVERYTHING USES POWER.

Did I almost lose my shit in the McDonald's drive through? Yes, but I didn't and they legit sucked. Did I get food? YES.

I sent my mom a "oh shit please help baby of adult age" text and she's going to get me ice for my fridge and make sure my cats haven't melted.

AND I DIDN'T CRY OR MELTDOWN.

My bra is still DAMP from SWEATING because my car's AC is still broken (oops) but I have things handled. I have a plan to go to my parents' house if my power is not restored. Work has power and AC so I am comfortable and charging my emergency battery thing.

I do need to buy additional flashlights. Fun fact: you can create a lamp by placing a flashlight against a frosted jug filled with water. The water reflects the lights and it covers a bigger area.

All I want is my extended release Adderall. I even changed pharmacies because the new one is supposedly better at obtaining it.

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NOPE.

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None of the pharmacies near me seem to be able to get it in. Of course it's Adderall too, so there's the added stress of not wanting to seem like I am drug seeking since it's a controlled substance. Will I get on a list and flagged if I have to call pharmacies and ask them, hey do you have this in stock?

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I'm officially out of my extended release even though I was not taking it on weekends in order to prevent myself from running out. I have my supplemental regular form so I'm not completely raw dogging executive functioning, but damn I now have to manually dose myself.

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I hate the process of switching medication so much, but now I'm debating whether or not to schedule another appointment with my psychiatrist. By managing my ADHD my anxiety is managed. Would it worth it to be worth it to be an anxious mess for like a month in order to find a more obtainable medication? By anxiety I mean uncontrollable heartburn, gastrointestinal distress, sleep negatively impacted, and an overall decline in human function.

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WHY IS MY MEDICAL CARE BEING DICTATED BY DRUG AVAILABILITY AND NOT MY ACTUAL CONDITION??

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I HATE THIS.