AITA for accusing my roommate of acting “above all this” after he got a job at Stripe?
I (22M) already feel stupid typing this because if I read this from someone else I'd probably think "yeah dude, you're just jealous." Maybe I am. That's kind of the problem. Me and my roommate (22M) have lived together since sophomore. Same major, same internship grind, same late night "we're gonna make it eventually" talks. He's one of my closest friends.
This placement season was bad for me. Like genuinely rough. I kept getting to final rounds and then rejected. One company made me do 5 interviews and then told me there were no openings. After a while it really got in my head.
Meanwhile he lands an SDE role at Stripe. And before people jump on me, yes, I know that's huge. I was really happy for him. I still am, I think. He worked hard and he's smart.
But after that, I started feeling weird about stuff in a way I don't feel good admitting. People treated him differently almost immediately. Friends asking for referrals, professors replying faster, random people suddenly caring more about what he said. It was weird to watch. He changed a little too, but not in some ego way. Just busier maybe? More distracted. He'd leave dishes in the sink, forget trash day, eat my stuff and say "my bad, I'll get you back." Small roommate things, but it started piling up.
At the same time he was genuinely trying to help me with recruiting. Mock interviews, job postings, resume stuff. And this is where I sound like an asshole because instead of appreciating it, I'd leave those conversations feeling worse. I started wondering if he actually wanted to help or if he just felt bad for me. Like pity-help. Which feels shitty to even type because if anything he was probably being nicer.
A few nights ago we got into a fight over garbage. Literally garbage. He forgot to take it out again, there were food containers sitting there for 2 days, and I just snapped. Started bringing up dishes, him eating my food, all of it. Then I said something like, "Ever since Stripe you've been acting like you're above all this." He got really quiet and just said, "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? I've been trying really hard to be there for you."
Then he said, "I feel like no matter what I do right now, you're gonna hate me for winning." That made me spiral really hard. It has been stuck in my head because I don't think I hate him. But I also don't know if he's completely wrong.
We've mostly just been doing awkward roommate logistics since then. I apologized for yelling, but not really for the bigger accusation.
Part of me feels like the roommate stuff would've annoyed anyone eventually. Another part of me feels like I took months of feeling embarrassed and dumped it on the person standing closest to me.
AITA?