u/CurseX666

Since childhood, I never had many friends, so the person closest to me back then was my cousin. We were truly very close, to the point that our family and the people around us thought we were in love (I’m Arab, and relationships between cousins are acceptable to some people here, so it wasn’t considered strange). We explained many times that this wasn’t the case, but no one believed us. Then, years later, he confessed his love to me! I was honestly shocked and confused, but I gathered my courage and told him that I only saw him as a friend and a brother, and that I did not have any other feelings for him.

A few years later, I was shocked for the second time when my father told me that this same cousin had asked for my hand in marriage. I immediately called him, and we argued because he had put me in a situation where I felt cornered. However, it turned out that it was actually his father’s idea, because he believed we were close and suitable for each other. The matter eventually ended there.

But now, a year later, he has started hinting at his feelings for me again, indirectly and jokingly. I truly love him, but not as a lover or husband — only as a friend and brother. My sister thinks I should give him a chance and try, but can I really be in a genuine relationship without romantic feelings toward him? I don’t want to hurt his feelings for the hundredth time; I feel like I’ve hurt him enough already. And now I pretend to be oblivious and foolish by acting as if I don’t notice the things he implies...

By the way, he is always expressing jealousy over any male figure in my life. He even gets jealous of fictional male characters I write in my novels and refuses to let me gush about them in front of him hahaha. It’s honestly kind of funny.

What do you think I should do? Should I give him a chance like my sister suggested, or should I reject him clearly and firmly?

{Note: The names are fictional, just so you don’t get confused between the events.}

I feel like I’m losing my mind from overthinking. I desperately need opinions about this issue I’ve been struggling with.

I’m (Linda), 27 years old. “Helen” is my close friend, 25. I met her through a social media app 7 years ago. Our relationship was very strong to the point where we used to tell each other that we were family — sisters not connected by blood.

Recently, however, she has become extremely bothered whenever anyone gets close to me, even if she was the one who introduced me to that person in the first place. She also doesn’t want to hear any news about me from a third party; she wants me to personally tell her every little detail about my life before anyone else does. It got to the point where I was even telling her what happened during my therapy sessions. She once sent me a direct message explicitly saying she was jealous of me getting closer to “Sally,” a mutual friend she herself introduced me to. Now she doesn’t want me and Sally to have any connection with each other — she wants each of us to speak to her separately, without involving the other.

As for my therapist, she kept telling me she didn’t trust him and that I should be careful, until eventually I stopped attending those sessions altogether.

The problem didn’t stop there. For over two years now, I’ve been telling her that I want to regain passion for something in my life. Since we share the same interest in this hobby, I wanted us to work on it together. But every time, she suggests we do a video call to motivate each other, and then the whole thing falls apart before it even begins. She changes the subject completely, starts screen-sharing dramas she watched and became obsessed with, or talks endlessly about things happening in her own life.

She also deliberately does things she knows I’m trying to quit while we’re on calls together, or sends them to me insisting that I look at them.

“Sally” introduced me to “Eddie,” a friend of hers who needed emotional support, and she wanted us to volunteer together to help him. I asked Helen, and she agreed. Later, she admitted herself that she only agreed because I did. Then, when she found out that me, Sally, and Eddie were on a call together, she got angry because we hadn’t invited her. She left all the group chats between the four of us and didn’t speak to me again until four days later. Her attitude was cold and emotionless, and she said she wanted to withdraw from everything, including our friendship.

Every time Eddie is mentioned, she starts an argument, interrogates me, and gets upset that I talk to him — to the point that she swore never to bring the subject up again after giving me a long lecture about how uncomfortable she feels about him.

At one point, she even told me that my father and brother were absolutely right not to approve of me leaving home because I’m too naïve and treat everyone with excessive openness, which she believes is dangerous.

She once told me that she sees me as her daughter, even though I’m older than she is, and that she considers herself the “mother” responsible for protecting me from everything and everyone.

I know how dear I am to her, just as she is dear to me, but things have become out of control. I can no longer handle not being able to speak honestly about what I’m going through because she won’t accept it and will start a fight with me.

What should I do? I’ve started taking important steps forward in my life, and every time I tell her I want to do something, she discourages me and emotionally manipulates me.