I (28M) recently told my gf (29F) that I don't see any future together and should stop any future plans (kids, house, ...) because of how and why she's been grieving (for an old broken down car), until she sees a psychologist.

Mandatory "english not my first language", "throwaway cause friends know my real account", "sorry for wall of text" and TW >!self-harm!<.

**Bit of background first :**

Gf and I started going out 6 years ago when we were in the same university. Living together for 4 years when we both got jobs in same city. We have a decent relationship, with some ups and downs along the years but nothing major.

We have discussed future plans (kids, buying a house, adopting cats,...) and to do so we decided to switch to more stable, better paying jobs in another city. We both found new jobs in a new city and started the moving process. That is when things started to go south.

**The situation** :

While I was at the new condo in the new city (my job started a bit earlier than hers) she stayed behind in the old city to gather some remaining stuff from our old condo and move them out. That is when she suffered a streak of bad luck : first her phone broke down, then immediately followed by her car breaking down the day following, leaving her stranded in the old condo. She called me (using her old phone she kept around) crying hysterically when it happened and I tried to calm her down.

I did go "rescue her" in the evening when I was free from work. However the car had to be towed to a repairshop for diagnostic (turned out a week later it was the cylinder head gasket on her 20year old car that gave up, flooding the cylinders with coolant). The car was therefore deemed economically totaled, as replacing that seal would cost too much for such an old car (especially since it's not the only mechanical problem she's had in last years).

However the problem is that my gf lost her mind when she heard the news, and began to "grieve" (her words) the car for the following weeks, spending all days crying, being hysterical and even having >!self-harm!< thoughts and acts, and generally being too grief stricken to take any decision regarding what to do with the car or replacing it.

She even had that behavior at her new work, potentially jeopardizing her new job !

No matter what I did to comfort her, help her or try to find solutions to replace both her phone and finding a new car (she was too paralyzed to do it so me and my family helped her find a new car quickly so she could get to her new job), she showed no sign to improve even 3 weeks after the car broke down, spending her nights crying and saying >!self-harming!< stuff, or things like "that car is a family member to me, I can't lose her".

&gt;!I even found her beating her head against a wall at some point !!<

Keep in mind during that time she would not let go of the old broken car, and said stuff like she will keep it for memories (we have no parling spot to store it). The car sat at the repairshop, accruing daily "storage fee" from the repairman.

I am generally lost when it comes to emotion as I generally am reserved and calm, going with the flow kind of guy, not very in touch with my emotions so I was really lost but trying my best to comfort her and help her along.

However, seeing her get in that state for a broken down car, I couldn't understand and after about a month of that behavior I sat her down and told her the following :

First she had to see a psychologist to help her in this emotional time, as I was completely lost and not understanding her state of mind (who goes so far for a broken down car?).

Secondly, she had to get rid of the old car as it was starting to become a financial problem, with daily storage fees.

Finally, as long as she was not doing the first 2 steps, actually improving emotionally, and getting regular psychologist consultations, I could not see any future with her, as seeing how her grieving for a car threw her down a deep hole I couldn't think of her being able to deal with any future problems.

My reasoning is that if a broken down car triggers >!self-harm!< and hysterical behavior, how could she even deal with kids/house/family death situations ?

She understandably got mad after the sit down talk, and it put a lot of strain on the relationship.

**So Mark, AITAH for telling her that I couldn't see any future with her because of her grieving for an old car ?**

Edit: also posted on r/AmItheAsshole, without the TW : https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/JLtUUzvHHD

Edit2: additionnal info from comments : She is upset because it is her first car, that she is very emotionally attached to. She "knew" this car for 17years or so, as it was in her family and recently (1year ago) gifted to her as her first car.

The car initially was her grands-parent's car. Both grand parents are still alive so it is not a memorabilia of any sort.

I did try to help her, and still am trying. When i saw i could not help her i suggested therapy, contacted her family and mine for help and get additional POV, without much success.

Hey Waffle Gang!

I just listened to an old podcast of Mark's from a couple of years ago. It had a story about an entitled airline customer that was unhappy with the drink options.

Well, I have a doozy for you.

Back in 2021 I worked for one of the two national airlines in Canada. I worked from home but was a sales and service agent. So that meant I took customer service calls, booked flights, canceled flights - the whole thing. If anyone has ever been to Canada in the winter, you know that there's a strong likelihood of a snowstorm somewhere in the country. It just so happened that a nasty snowstorm went through Toronto over Christmas. It was a disaster. People were calling in trying to get different flights than the ones automatically booked, their luggage was lost, was the airline going to reimburse them for the extra night in the hotel...and on and on it went.

And then Mrs. X called in. She was VERY angry that her husband was on a different flight back to their home from Toronto than her and her son. I said that that was weird as the airline works very hard to ensure that everyone on one ticket stays together on a new ticket. So I looked into it. Turns out hubby was originally on a different ticket than wife and son. So, as the airline had no idea they were traveling together, put him on a different (and earlier) flight home. Here is how the conversation went as best as I can remember it:

Mrs. X: I want to be on the same flight as my husband going back home.

Me: I'm sorry that flights booked up and I can't get you on an earlier flight.

Mrs. X: My husband is a very important man in our community and he needs his family to travel with him.

Me: Again, I'm sorry but I can't put you on the same flight as him. It's already booked.

Mrs. X: Well then, kick someone off that flight!

Me: Wh..what?

Mrs. X: You heard me. I got kicked off my flight, I want you to kick someone off my husband's flight so my son and I can travel with him.

Me: I can't do that.

Mrs. X: Yes you can. You kicked me off my flight, you can kick someone else off of his flight. He's VERY important to the community and we have to be with him.

Me: You didn't get kicked off. There was a snowstorm and the flight was canceled.

Mrs. X: It's the same thing! If you won't do it put me through to someone who will!

Me: Ma'am, no one's going to do that for you. You're going to have to go on the flight scheduled for you and your son.

Mrs. X: I'm going to take this further. What's your name? I'm going to report you.

Me: Ok, then.

I wasn't worried about being reported. She was nutcase and no one was going to take her seriously. Besides, it was my last week working for this company so I didn't care.

I have some workplace drama and I really need to know if I'm the asshole here.

I work for a company, let's call it Y. I was moved to a new department over a year ago after being chosen from a group of girls through an essay contest. In our department, we handle customer emails across multiple inboxes. The main rule is simple. Work them from oldest to newest.

Now for the issue. My coworker, "Alexa." Personally, I really like her. She’s chill, listens to the same music I do, and actually worked there when my boyfriend did at Y years ago. But when it comes to her work ethic? Total nightmare. She is lazy, doesn’t work half the time, and BSes her way through the day.

Recently, I noticed her name randomly assigned to emails all over the inbox. Instead of following the oldest to newest rule, she cherry picks the accounts she wants. At first, I ignored it. Then I realized why she was doing it. She was strictly hoarding the easy accounts that give multiple points toward our individual monthly goals. Meanwhile, the rest of the team is stuck with the super complicated, time consuming accounts that barely reward any points. The more points we get, the higher bonus we receive.

My work bestie, "Karla," and I both verbally brought this up to our supervisors, "Katie" and "Ashley" separately. Ashley assured us it had been discussed with Alexa since cherry picking emails isn't how we do things.

Surprise, surprise! Karla and I saw zero change. We complained again a couple of weeks later because Alexa was still skipping the hard stuff and taking the easy emails.

When I brought it up verbally a third time, Katie and Ashley looked visibly annoyed (honestly, I couldn’t tell if they were annoyed at Alexa, or just annoyed at me for complaining). They gave the usual "we'll handle it" speech. A week later, nothing changed.

I finally messaged them on Teams with a screenshot of an example of Alexa skipping emails, asking if they understood what I meant. Again, they said they'd handle it.

Miraculously, at the beginning of the next month, she slowed down on skipping emails. But as the end of the month approached? She started doing it constantly. She clearly just wanted to inflate her metrics to hit her monthly goal.

That was my breaking point. I talked to Karla and my boyfriend about going over their heads to management. My boyfriend pointed out that when people go over their supervisors heads, the supervisors can get petty with how they treat you moving forward. He suggested a different strategy, which I immediately put into action.

I sent a formal email to Katie and Ashley, referencing our previous conversations (making it plural for emphasis). I explained that this cherry picking is unfair to the team and, more importantly, delays responses to customers with more urgent, complex issues. I used the word "fair" on purpose because Katie and Ashley love to throw that word around, even though "keeping things fair" apparently only applies to certain employees.

I attached 9 to 10 screenshots of pure, undeniable receipts showing Alexa skipping emails. My ultimate plan is this. If she doesn't stop, I am going to reply to that exact email chain, CC their manager who is above our department, attach fresh screenshots, and show that nothing has changed.

They conveniently emailed me back on my day off, giving a generic response about how skipping emails is against policy and that they will address it. But now I have written proof.

Today, they sent a mass email to the entire team stating they noticed emails are being skipped and that it needs to stop. I'm glad it’s in writing, but I highly doubt they actually called her out individually.

So, would I be the AH if at the end of this month I see her doing it again, and I follow through by CC’ing their manager with all of the screenshots I have?

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First of all, English isn't my first language, so please be kind.

I (28F) and my husband (32M) are expecting our first child, and I'm currently 40 weeks pregnant.

I've always had a very strong stance against smoking and try to avoid it whenever possible. My father smoked heavily throughout my childhood, and although my mother was somewhat more considerate, I recently found out that she smoked during all three of her pregnancies, including cigarettes and marijuana.

I also have asthma and other health issues that may or may not be related.

I had a very difficult childhood. My father is an alcoholic, and nobody in the family has much contact with him anymore. My relationship with my mother has also always been complicated. There has been emotional and physical abuse in the past, and I've considered limiting contact before, but that's a much longer story.

Several years ago, my husband and I spoke to our parents about smoking and our future boundaries regarding children. We wanted everyone to have enough time to think about it before a baby was actually here.

My father is no longer part of our lives, and my father-in-law quit smoking. That means my mother is now the only person in our immediate family who still smokes.

Before she visited us during my pregnancy, I brought up the topic again. We live quite far apart, so visits usually last an entire weekend.

She quickly brushed it off and said she would figure something out. I think she assumed that I was mainly worried about the smell because I've had hyperemesis gravidarum throughout my pregnancy and have been extremely sensitive to smells.

During that first visit, she couldn't even go one day without smoking. During her next two visits, she didn't even try.

Whenever I attempted to bring up the topic, the conversation was immediately shut down.

Eventually, my husband and I wrote her a letter explaining our boundaries.

We made it very clear that this wasn't about the smell of cigarettes. It was about thirdhand smoke and the health risks for newborns.

We never asked her to quit smoking completely.

We simply asked her not to smoke during visits, to come freshly showered, to wear freshly washed clothes, and not to smoke on the drive to our house.

We also told her how much we appreciated her offer to stay with us for a week after the birth to help us once my husband returned to work. We made it very clear that we wanted her to be part of our son's life.

At the moment, she is in a rehabilitation program because of health issues, some of which are related to smoking.

The letter reached her during rehab, and after receiving it, she didn't contact me for almost two weeks while I was heavily pregnant. That was emotionally very difficult for me.

I later found out through my sister that she had interpreted the letter as a personal attack instead of seeing it as an attempt to protect our child.

Eventually, she sent me a message saying that she loved me and accepted the letter.

I was relieved. I put my own feelings aside because I genuinely wanted her to have a relationship with my son.

I asked her whether this meant she was still planning to visit after the birth.

That's when everything escalated.

She sent me a very harsh message saying that she didn't want to change herself for other people and that she would decide for herself whether and when she stopped smoking.

Again, we never asked her to quit.

We only asked her to avoid smoking during visits.

My husband called her to make sure we had understood her correctly and to explain our perspective one more time.

After that conversation, I was still willing to keep her involved through photos and updates until she felt able to respect our boundaries during in-person visits.

However, she then sent additional messages to my husband, saying that our boundaries were emotional blackmail and making several other hurtful comments.

For me, this was the moment I realized that she was choosing her addiction over having a relationship with both her daughter and her grandson.

At that point, I told her that we were limiting contact for now. I also told her that our door would remain open if she was ever willing to acknowledge that the way she handled the situation wasn't okay.

Part of me feels guilty because she is still my mother, and I'm not sure whether I'm overreacting.

WE have a solid marriage and got together in our mid 20s. I would say we both made it. I am an accountant and he made it very far in his career (Senior VP) . He has a complicated past. Emigrated here but was born and raised in a country from the Former Soviet bloc, in an orphanage. he used to tell me the conditions were miserable. Roaches, rats, cold, fear. He was r.. aped at 6.

And he dated this girl. They were both in high school, both unwanted abandoned children.

They befriended when they were 8 and 9, were separated and then reunited some years later. dated since she was 15 and he was 16 for one year and a half and separated again.

I will not go into too many details but they reconnected now. I wanted to go with him, he didn't really like it but agreed. he said she is just a friend. but when they saw each other and they hugged he started crying. I never saw my rational and emotionally detached husband cry.

he introduced us and we spent some time together and then we returned home and my daughter told me she also saw him crying. She wasn't that lucky, fought with addiction, depression.

my husband has a very busy schedule and today I called his office and his assistant told me that he actually took a whole week off - starting today. He didn't tell me anything and my husband never takes vacation, he is a workaholic and believes no one can do any job if he ain't there. I asked him about it and he said he forgot to tell me. OK, but why a week off?

he said he is very tired.

I then asked if all this has anything to do with that woman and his answer was that it was intrusive from my side that I wanted to join him when he met her and I acted arrogantly and superior. I didn't. He is usually the arrogant one actually. What do I do about this woman

My BIL (married to my sister) is a general contractor. About 10 years ago, my dad and brother was building a deck at my parent’s home. They asked my BIL if they could borrow his skid loader but he said no. They prepared the ground as best they could without the skid loader but got to the point they couldn’t go on without it. They went to my sis’s house to ask again but found out BIL went out of town. They talked my sis into letting them borrow it so she took them down to his construction lot and they hooked it up to dad’s truck.

This next part I’m not sure of since I don’t know much about towing but from what I was told, dad’s truck wasn’t big enough or powerful enough to tow the skid loader on the dump trailer so he lost control and wrecked. The truck, trailer, and skid loader was totaled. The insurance was barely enough to cover the medical costs and the truck. There was none left over to cover BIL’s stuff. When he got back to town, he exploded. He threaten to sue and things just went downhill from there. My parents are not rich and he wouldn’t have gotten anything so in the end, sis talked him into letting it go.

However, from that day on he wouldn’t have anything to do with our family. He doesn’t come for birthdays, holidays, nothing at all. Next month is our parent’s 50th anniversary and we’re planning a big family gathering to celebrate. We’re also chipping in to send our parents on a cruise to Mexico because they’ve never been out of the country. I spoke to sis about it the other day and she said she’s coming with the kids but BIL is not coming. I was fine with that but when we were discussing their portion of the cruise money, I heard him yelling in the background to deduct their portion from the cost of the skid loader and dump trailer. That pissed me if so after my call with sis, I called BIL and told him to get over himself. I told Dad and bro made a mistake but that was 10 years ago and he needs to let it go. He said he’ll let out go when they give him the money he lost. I told him he’s an ass for holding on to a grudge and putting money in the way of a family relationship.

Sis called me a few minutes ago and said they’re not coming and that I was out of line. We argued for a bit and that’s where it stands.

I don’t think I’m wrong for telling him to let go of the past but they’re not coming to the anniversary party so now I’m not sure.

Answers to your questions:

Let’s get something straight. My dad and brother are not bad people. They are good people who made a mistake. They couldn’t pay back BIL because he wanted almost $70,000 and again, we’re not rich. Dad had to buy another truck because he needed it to go to work.

On the other hand, BIL had 3 other sets of skid loaders and dump trailers on his lot that day so he could take the financial hit while my parents would be homeless. BIL and sis are way better off then the rest of us so while I understand your reasoning of paying BIL back, he doesn’t need it.

The cruise to Mexico isn’t some millionaire trip. The total cost is about $3,000 and it’ll take over 20 people to pay for that. Again, we’re not rich. We can barely cover $3,000 spread out over 20 people so there’s no way we can pay $70,000.

This happened a few years ago, but the key person in this story has not gotten over it, so maybe I am/was the asshole. Also this is a throw-away because my family knows my main account.

A little backstory first:

I am American living in a European country with my husband. We travel to the States every other year or so, and when we do we stock up on things that are difficult or impossible to find and/or too expensive here. One of those things is kosher salt. You can buy a three-pound box in any grocery store in the States for less than five dollars. However, where we live it's just not available. It's not sold in grocery stores. You have to order it online and then it costs $20 or more. Therefore, I always buy a big box whenever we travel to the States and it usually lasts until our next trip.

We were visiting my family over the holidays. We did our usual stocking up of stuff you can't get over here, like actual cold medicine, large bottles of OTC headache pills, and of course, kosher salt. Before we left we asked the family what they wanted from the States for Christmas, got a few ideas from most of my in-laws, but my husbands sister (SIL), upon being asked what she wanted for Christmas, replied "world peace." Alrighty, then. She did ask if we could buy her some cold medicine and a large bottle of Advil. No problem. I also bought her a box of kosher salt because she's a really good cook and I figured she'd appreciate that.

Anyway, we had a nice Christmas with my family. When we got back we had a lot of presents and supplies for everyone. I wrapped up the presents for my in-laws, including the kosher salt and bottle of Advil for SIL. We had a mini Christmas over at their house. When SIL unwrapped the box of kosher salt, she did not look appreciative. She looked genuinely confused and dismayed. She said, "SALT??!" I explained what it was and how it was a really popular thing to use in the States, and how difficult it is to get here. Later on we got a call from my husband's mother, who had just gotten off the phone with SIL. She had called her after we left. She was upset and crying, absolutely inconsolable. Not only had I given her a box of salt, I had actually wrapped it, which infuriated her. She thought it was a joke gift and she didn't find it very damn funny. I tried to reassure her that it wasn't a joke. I just thought she might like some special salt from the United States. Wrapping up world peace is kind of difficult, so I did the best I could.

So, am I the asshole for wrapping up a box of salt? Apparently, she has never gotten over this.

My Fiance wants to have his bachelor 1 week (2weeks at most) before our wedding day. We have been together for 5 years and we got engaged this past December. We are planning for an October 2027 or November 2027 wedding.

Neither of us have ever been married before and as you might imagine, the thought of him having the party so close makes me nervous. But probably not for the reason you are thinking.

I want to start by saying that i trust my fiance. However, he isn't without faults and has made mistakes in the past. It is not fiance i am worried about. In fact, if it was up to him- his bachelor party would be probably sitting at a kitchen table with the boys playing board games and drinking.

It is one of our mutual friends i am worried about.

Our close friend group, which makes up the wedding party, consists of mostly men. Most of them i would trust to actually tell me if anything happened, but there is one that i cant trust all the way. Lets call this friend Sir Gregory. Greg has a very bad habit of using white lies to avoid consequences or avoid difficult conversations he doesnt want to have.

Its often little things too that dont matter enough to bring up but ive caught him in several lies before. I would give some examples but that would make this too long.

Anyway its happened enough that like you KNOW its a bad habit of his. He has never hurt anyone in the group enough for us to really have to address it.

Well the talk of the bachelor trip comes up.

Another one of the groomsmen lives in the UK and despite making a very large income (6 digits), he asked if we could accommodate doing it tbe week before the wedding so that he wouldnt have to spend so much on plane tickets. Reasonable, i know.

However, during this same conversation, Sir gregory makes a joke about strippers and escorts. It sounded like it was supposed to be joking but i wasnt sure. Fiance starts to shoot it down but sir gregory basically implies he will be hiring someone of the female persuasion to show up. I step in and i say HELL NO. I say yall can do what you want but my three rules are 1. No strippers 2. No paid sex workers /escorts 3. Nothing that will fuck up our wedding photos (like fights that end in black eyes)

Everyone seemed to agree except sir gregory who asks if male strippers are okay and i say no- none.

I think thats the end of it.

Later my fiance tells me that his brother (best man) and sir Gregory were discussing in the chat inviting struppers or escorts anyway behind my back... as if fiance isnt going to tell me right away??

So not only did he hear me LOUD AND CLEAR and acknowledge he wouldnt do it, he immediately went to lie and started planning it anyway against my (and frankly fiances) wishes.

Soooo yeah. I cant trust him. Im still kinda pissed about it actually but im not interested in blowing up the friend group right now. I have taken a step back from that friendship but he is still in the group.

The other ones in the group who i know i can trust assure me they wont let anything like that happen but im not sure that matters here. I cant trust sir gregory not to do something or not invite strippers/escorts even jokingly.

I think i would be upset if any even showed up and fiance didnt do anything bad. I have heard the horror stories of people doing things irreversible while drunk. Just them being present makes me so uncomfortable.

It will cause me undo stress and harm a WEEK before our wedding and absolutely WOULD ruin my day for me because its all i would be able to think about. I dont want that drama in my life a week before the wedding. I dojt want to deal with potential fall out a week before my wedding.

If it happened a few months before okay fine i can deal with it. But a week? Nah. Ill have a brain aneurysm.

It just makes me super uncomfortable and i dont think o really need to justify it more than that. I know that our UK friend is basically spending a lot to come to our wedding and bachelor but idk what other solution there is here and at the end of the day- it is our wedding.

I have voiced these concerns and everyone in the group including fiance have been telling me to think of UK friends finances. I dont feel heard at all. My feelings feel overlooked. Its literally my wedding too, why isnt my opinion being taken seriously? Uk friend doesnt have to come to bachelor party or he could save for a year. Unfortunately i can't suggest we pay for it because we are not wealthy. We are doing okay but most of our expenses are going to wedding stuff and we just cant afford it. Again i know its a lot for hotels and plane tickets but no matter how much i think about this- i am extremely uncomfortable if Sir gregory is actively involved in planning with best man.

I dont want to be controlling or be a bridezilla but my friends are basically making me feel like one for not wanting this party to happen a week before the wedding. Even my fiance is saying we need to consider UK friends expenses when i push back.

I'm always asked for an explanation i veto but none of my responses apparently seem ro be valid. Again when i share concerns about sir greg, i am told they'd never let that happen. When i talk about needing help with last minute wedding issues, i am told it will apl be sorted by then. When i say im uncomfortable with it, i am told we would be asking him too much to fly to the US twice in one year.

AITA??

----

Even if strippers or escorts are invited and fiance doesnt do anything wrong all night, i think i would still be upset they were even there because it feels disrespectful to our relationship and me. And those feelings absolutely would ruin our wedding day for me.

If youre just going to say 'you dont trust your fiance', please dont post at all. Thats not helpful. This is but a snapshot of our life and not a full picture. I do trust fiance and i am not going to leave him or not marry him. Not unless he does something catastrophic to our lives. Thank you

Sorry for any typos i am on my phone.

Hi everyone, there has numerous requests for updates and I still cant believe how many internet strangers are invested in my whirlwind of a life haha.

Now before anyone asks no she is not pregnant or anything, but Tiff has been working at the ER as a registration person so it can help with clinicals and knowing people and getting a good rotation. Well after Christmas Tiff got really sick and she couldnt kick this weird cough she would get at night it got so bad we took her to the ER and they just said she had a bad upper respiratory. She was taking steroids and an inhaler, but it still got worse, finally after she passed out at work she was diagnosed with Walking Pnuemonia and had to stay in the hospital for 2 days because of how bad it was. At the hospital they asked for her next of kin and wanted to call her parents, my Dad tried showing the guardianship but since we are no longer minors we are technically not her next of kin. Thankfully she was able to speak enough to tell the hospital we were her family but it really did give us a wake up call.

When she got home she still had some recovery and we started really talking about our future and where we are in life and how we really got snatched into adulthood, while we are happy together and we are in this to the wheels fall off we really need to stop playing family. She did bring up all the legal stuff she learned at school, wills, advanced directives and something proxy but it wasnt just about that as well but we have a daughter a life and while its 1000000000% sooner than expected we wanted to wait until we were 28-30 yrs old to get married it was the right step for us.

My dad sold me the house we did owner finance went through the title company and lawyers. Tiff and I decided to get married at the courthouse but dont worry I still properly proposed with a camera man and I cleaned up very well even wore a button down shirt. For the courthouse, I did wear a suit and she did wear a dress, our friends and family was there as well to make it as special as possible. We are planning to re-marry in 2030 to have a nice wedding/ceremony we figure she will be done with school, maybe even be adult enough for a honeymoon regardless we have 5 years to plan lol.

Since my Dad moved out to live with Kay it did change our relationship, we werent under "Dad's house" even though he wasnt in our relationship like that but not having a parent here really did change how we interact and its help us grow but we are nowhere near properly adulting. Like I totally forgot to buy toilet paper and random things that were just always there lol.

Now for my Dad and Kay and my TINY big personality little sister, she is the best and her and Jelly absolutely love each other. I cant tell you how much seeing them gave us baby fever but dont worry we still shut that down real quick. While we feel a bit more financially stable and just stable overall we are just not ready to be adulting to the point where we have 2 kids lol. Dad and Kay are so in love its ridiculously gross but its really nice seeing him happy.

Theres really not anything large happening other than trying to plan for some travelling going to Disney made us realize how much we are missing and Jelly did so well so we have some things on the 2025 travelling list, maybe road trips but I dont have a beard yet and I feel like Dad, Mom & Kid roadtrip requires for the dad to have a beard to be taken seriously. idk just a random thought.

I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship that required me to get a protection order, and I was desperate for a roommate. My friend, Victoria (25F), was looking for somewhere to live, so I had her added to my lease to replace my ex.
When she first moved in, things were great. She had two jobs, which made me feel confident that she would be able to contribute to rent and household expenses. She also told me she would help keep the apartment clean.
Unfortunately, we hadn’t even been living together for three months before I started regretting the decision. There are several reasons why.
1. She lost her jobs almost immediately and still hasn’t found another one.
She lost both of her jobs within the first month of moving in and has yet to find another. I understand that losing a job can happen, and I don’t expect her to magically find one overnight. What frustrates me is that despite not having an income, she continues spending money and has increasingly relied on me to cover expenses when she comes up short.
Last month she was a little short on rent, so I covered the difference. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I’m worried that it set the expectation that I’ll cover her whenever she can’t.
This month, she has already told me she will be short again—except this time, it isn’t by a small amount. She’ll be short by more than half of her portion of the rent.
Our rent is paid as a household, so if she doesn’t pay her share, it doesn’t just affect her. I am legally responsible for making sure the full rent gets paid too, meaning I would have to cover the difference to keep myself from being put in a bad situation.
I didn’t budget for that.
2. She barely cleans, and I constantly have to clean up after her.
I work a lot, so when I’m home, I don’t want to spend my limited free time cleaning up after another adult.
She regularly leaves laundry and craft supplies all over the living room for days at a time. She cooks frequently, which is completely fine, but she leaves the dishes in the sink afterward. At one point, she left dishes sitting there for over a week.
The sink is usually completely full.
I actually started using paper plates and mostly eating frozen meals because I wanted to see how much of the mess was coming from me versus her. Even without me contributing much to the dishes, the sink still constantly fills up.
Her dog also sheds like crazy, so I’m sometimes vacuuming once or twice a day. On top of that, the trash fills up incredibly quickly—sometimes within an afternoon—and I’m almost always the one taking it out.
She might clean once or twice a month, but that’s about it.
3. She regularly leaves her dog with me without actually asking.
She frequently drives her gas-guzzling car to her boyfriend’s house, sometimes for entire weekends. I work Monday through Friday, so my weekends are basically the only time I have to myself.
Instead of asking whether I’m willing to watch her dog, she often just tells me she’s leaving.
Recently, she left him with me for around 10 days straight. She said she would pay me for taking care of him, but because she doesn’t have a job, I never actually saw any money.
Meanwhile, I’m the one letting him out, taking him for walks, dealing with him using the bathroom on the carpet, and listening to him howl during the night because he’s hungry.
I don’t have a problem helping a friend occasionally. But this has become an expectation rather than a favor.
4. I feel like I’m becoming her financial safety net.
This is probably the part that bothers me the most.
She doesn’t currently have a job, yet she still spends money on things that aren’t necessities and then tells me she’s going to be short on bills.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m responsible for making sure she can afford her life.
I only charge her $500 a month for rent, so I don’t feel like I’m asking an unreasonable amount from her. I’ve tried to be understanding and help when she needs it, but at this point it feels like my willingness to help has turned into an expectation that I’ll keep doing it.
5. I feel like I’m being put in an impossible position regarding her relationship.
She is engaged, and there are things she does that I personally believe cross boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed in a relationship.
And to be completely honest, she has cheated on her fiancé multiple times. It wasn’t a one-time mistake. She has cheated with several people, including coworkers. One of those situations actually contributed to her losing her job because one of the men found out she was cheating and the situation blew up at work.
I know this makes me sound like an awful friend for keeping things from her fiancé, and that’s part of why I feel so conflicted. I don’t like being put in the position of knowing things that I believe her fiancé would want to know while also feeling like telling him could make my living situation significantly worse.
I don’t want to be responsible for covering for her, but I also don’t feel like I can blow up my housing situation while I’m still legally tied to her.
6. Even my boyfriend has noticed how unhealthy our friendship has become.
My boyfriend has told me that he thinks the relationship between Victoria and me is toxic, particularly because he feels like she is taking advantage of me more than I realize.
At first I didn’t really want to hear that because I’ve known her since middle school and I kept thinking that maybe I was being too harsh or impatient.
But I’ve started noticing it myself.
Recently, she was gone for a while, and honestly, I felt more at peace while she was gone.
Even though I was still stuck taking care of her dog, I was able to keep the apartment clean the entire time. I didn’t have dishes piling up that weren’t mine, laundry and craft supplies weren’t covering the living room, I wasn’t constantly vacuuming up dog hair, and I didn’t have to worry about whether I was going to come home to another mess.
I realized that I was actually less stressed being responsible for her dog by myself than I am living with her.
That realization really bothered me.
7. I’m also her maid of honor.
This is another reason I feel like such an asshole for even considering cutting her off.
I’m supposed to be her maid of honor at her wedding, and we’ve been friends since middle school. I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to ruin her wedding.
But at the same time, I’m realizing that being someone’s maid of honor doesn’t mean I have to continue being their friend forever.
Our lease ends around the same time as her wedding, which is why I’ve decided that I’m going to wait until we’re no longer financially and legally tied to each other before ending the friendship.
At this point, I don’t really feel like a friend or roommate. I feel like a safety net.
She barely talks to me anymore because she’s either sleeping or on the phone with her fiancé. Yet when she needs something—money, help with her dog, cleaning, etc.—I’m expected to be there.
And the worst part is that I feel trapped.
If I don’t watch her dog, he suffers and I have to deal with the consequences in my own home.
If I refuse to cover her rent, I still have to worry about the full rent because we’re both on the lease.
If I don’t clean, I have to live in the mess.
If I stop keeping her secrets, I worry that my living situation will become hostile.
I went over my lease with a fine-tooth comb, and I can’t afford to break it. She also wouldn’t agree to sign me off the lease because she doesn’t qualify for the apartment on her own. I can’t afford to move somewhere else while continuing to pay rent here either.
So I’ve ultimately decided that I’m going to make it through the lease and then end the friendship.
I know we’ve been friends since middle school. We’ve also had falling-outs in the past over similar issues, and I know I was probably stupid for believing she had changed.
But I’m starting to realize that I don’t actually feel happier, safer, or more at peace maintaining this friendship.
AITA for planning to cut off my friend once our lease ends, even though I’m her maid of honor and the timing will coincide with her wedding?

Edit: i have talked to the landlord and her about other options to getting her out sooner than may and unfortunately the soonest she would be able to move out is may. Im not really looking for advice just whether or not id be the a-hole.

Hi everyone, I'm back again, but this time is with a different story, I want to get off my chest myself. F 18 was in the care system in Ireland till last year when I turned 18

I'm in little to no contact with my bio parent from last week over a phone call and many other things.

The thing you need to know about my Dad m 44 is he is he's childish. If something doesn't, the way he wants, he has a fit. This is what went down on Friday

I was on the phone to him, and he brought up my brothers. I don't mind him bringing them up, but he did this because he thinks they should have paid for my mother's grave stone I told him it wasn't their duty they can help but it shouldn't be something they have to do. He starts screaming at me that I'm worng and I'm just a woman who doesn't know anything, then he brought up that I was S/A when I was younger telling me I deserved it.

After that , I said I hung up, and my boyfriend and parents have advised me not to talk to him I don't know what I should do now if I should block him or not

Reddit am I the ass for this??

This is a throwaway account.

To start off, I’m not looking for any diagnosis. We already have that covered.

My daughter, “Becca” (I’m using pseudonyms) keeps a diary to write in. For years I respected her privacy but one day about a year ago she came to me and her father and tells us she thinks she’s depressed and wants to see a therapist. My husband laughed it off but I asked her why she thought she was sad and she wouldn’t tell me anything. So I told her no, and she had a good life and nothing to be sad about. She seemed upset by that but since she wasn’t telling me anything, there was nothing I could do for her.

But I couldn’t get it out of my head. She didn’t seem very different as she’s always been shy and quiet. So I decided to read her diary (well, several of them; she keeps them all through the years) when she was at school and was shocked at what I found. I won’t get into detail but she wrote often how much she hated me, how I was a villain in her story. I was just parenting how I had been taught though. Things seemed to continue along that vein for a year when she wrote about some harmful thoughts she had been having and I decided that even if there wasn’t a real reason for her to be depressed, clearly she was struggling with some dark thoughts and I got her a therapist. I have continued reading her diaries to monitor her. My husband agreed with my actions, though he didn’t read them himself.

The other night Becca and I were having an argument and I finally told her that I have been reading her diaries and that I would do it again, that I was in the right as her parent because she wouldn’t tell me what was going on. Becca looked so hurt and started crying, saying that I betrayed her because I had promised I would never read her diaries when she first started writing. Now she won’t talk to me but I know she’ll eventually get over it one day. I love her and would do anything for her, so while I’m sad it hurt her, I know that ultimately I helped her. I just had to get this off my chest though.

If anyone has any idea of how to get her to understand, I’m open to suggestions. Thank you.

ETA to answer common sentiments: I know it’s an illness, my sister in law and mother in law both had it, but I just thought there had to be something in her life that she couldn’t handle and she wasn’t telling me. But her diary is just full of how much she hates me, she calls me a bitch and more in those diaries. I know I’m not a perfect parent but still, I’m trying.

And *I* wasn’t the one who laughed at her, that was my husband, and I told him that he wasn’t being helpful and to shit up. I was really trying to listen to my child and not dismiss her like he did.

UPDATE: this post gave me a lot to think about. It actually made me happy, because I am the daughter in this post who was betrayed by their mom this way. I tried to make it sound like my mom without going over the top (she would absolutely be attacking people here but I didn’t want to do that) and to see so many people saying that they believed me, that they would have gotten me help, made me happy but sad because that wasn’t how my life went. Except for the people who thought it was AI, fuck AI. Generative AI is ruining our planet.

I didn’t give an age in this post but I went to talk to my parents when I was 12, and didn’t know til I was 14 what my mom was doing. And I still can’t write to this day, except kinda here. I had hoped sharing this would make any adult who is thinking of doing something similar woukd stop and think because I saw a similar post recently and it made me angry and upset to hear that mothers keep doing this stupid shit.

If you have any questions I’ll try to answer them below but I’m trying to keep this anonymous still.

For reference, I am in my mid thirties now. No, my mom still believes she was in the right to this day, but I think she feels guilty about it. Why? Because my mother is the reason why I have multiple mental health disorders and still struggle to this day.

Hello guys,

I don't know who else to talk to, because my family members and friends all might be biased and definitely would be on my side. This is going to be a bit long, because I want to give as much context as possibly needed. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Context: my ex (H, now 25/m) and I (now 24 - almost 25-/f) met in March 2024. It was shortly after my grandma died and my ex-bf of 5.5 years broke up with me (he cheated and left me for the other woman). We fell in love quite quickly, but I always tried to push H away. I looked for every little excuse to push him away, I was confused, mentally not ready for a relationship after everything that happened before, but wanted to be with him and I have BPD (was not diagnosed back then, but I am now thankfully). We weren't officially together, just dating/getting to know eachother. He never had a girlfriend before, was a virgin and because of this and my own problems, I didn't want to rush things.

In late July/early August 2024 we had a disagreement - I never want to have kids, he wasn't sure if he wanted any or not. So I thought about ending it before we even got together. I thought "What if he wants kids in the future? I don't want any, it'll never work out." (definitely an extreme reaction on my part). It was stupid and I regretted it almost immediately, apologised to him and wanted to talk, but he blocked me. A few days later I got a message from one of his female friends (long-time girlfriend of his best friend, they have a child together). She sent me a pic of her chest and acted like she and H slept together, he had a looot of fun with her, wasn't sad anymore etc. This friend made some jokes in the past about threesomes with her boyfriend and H, which H mentioned on our first date and it made me uncomfortable. They didn't actually sleep together, but they let me believe that for months.

H and I were no contact until November 2024. In our no contact time, there was another woman from his friend group trying to hit on him. They slept in a bed together, but he didn't want to touch her. She wanted more and even "joked" once with the friend group that maybe they should drink some alcohol at the next event and he can "loosen up", so they could sleep together.

We got officially together after everything in November 2024. I loved him. Our whole relationship, his friend group tried to push the "OP is so manipulative and toxic" narrative and he played into that, told them lies about me to make me look bad and he even confessed to it. He just didn't want to "upset his friends by telling them the truth and being actually happy with me". I forgave him.

In June 2025, we broke up because he didn't love me anymore. We still had an on-off friends with benefits situation/situationship with eachother until January 2026. We had no contact again until March 2026.

And now we're in this weird situationship/friends with benefits situation again. We decided on being exclusive/monogamous and not sleep with other people. If we want to, we'll end it with the other person. He was the one who broke up and ended it every time. I never really ended things with him.

To my current issue: He's at a Ren Faire with this specific friend group. He slept in a tent with one of these women for two nights (he didn't tell me before he did it the first night and after I told him it made me uncomfortable, he still did it a second night). He didn't apologise or change the sleeping arrangement until I asked him to (which was possible from the start, they just didn't do it). He doesn't communicate well with me, often doesn't text me for a day, I feel like sh*t and I am confused. He says he cares about me and doesn't want things to end, but he currently behaves in a way that deeply hurts me and he is surrounded by people who I never got along with and who treated me badly. I know/he told me that he is definitely not attracted to any of these women. And if he wanted to do things with them, he could have done that in the past. That's why I think I could also be overreacting.

But I also feel like I can't fully forgive him at the moment and I need some advice. I told a friend about all of this on Wednesday and she is fully on my side, even questioned why he is still friends with these people.

I plan on having a conversation with him once he is back. I also think about ending it, but I still really love him, even though he shows me quite often that he doesn't love me anymore. We wanted to go to the cinema next week. My birthday is in less than two weeks. We had things planned... I am so confused right now and I am dealing with this since Tuesday.

How should I handle this? Am I overreacting to this current situation and it's actually not a big deal? Or is a big deal?

EDIT for context: this friend group doesn't like me, because of the disagreement we had about children and that I thought we couldn't have a relationship because of this topic. This was what started their dislike/hatred for me. After that it was his lies etc.

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Hi everyone, so basically how this story starts is with my mother,my dad, and me F18, so yesterday afternoon I went down to my parents to ask if my boyfriend could come over they have never had a issue with him comeing over and I didn't think this would be a problem here how the covo went

Me: Can boyfriend come over?

My mother: You could go to over town?

Me: No, we both don't feel like it he's been working snice Friday. Can he please come here?

Mother: No.

Me:Why? It would only be for a few hours?

Mother: YOU DONT PAY FOR ANYTHING IN MY HOUSE.

After this, I didn't want to talk to my parents because I was quite frankly annoyed. I called a friend of mine talking about it. I didn't say anything particularly bad. I was just very angry, so I didn't think much of it and went to bed.

Today, I went down to ask again my parents tell me no for the reason of "you were yelling about us." I did not yell. I honestly was really quiet. My mother also assumed I was cheating on my boyfriend, which I wouldn't ever do to anyone as I think cheating is disgusting, and she also said I was making myself the victim and being dramatic and selfish. Im a very honest person. I wouldn't lie about anyone or anything. I say things how they are.

For anyone wondering dw I will see him next week

I do infact have more stories about my parents, mostly my mother, and if any of the spelling isn't good, I'm sorry I have dyslexia and I'm not really that good at typing. Please let me know if I was ass and have a good day!

Hi Mark, love your channel and have been a longtime listener and chime into the comments whenever I have a spicy opinion to share. Trying to remain anonymous, but can't help wondering if I'm overreacting especially since he did seem to remedy his actions but I still want to share my story and I still talk crap about the situation because I still expected better in the moment and thought you may enjoy the story anyhow. And this more of a True Off My Chest.

Can understand if this is TLTR

I live in the States and my city currently has a major fire situation that is still not fully in control and started last weekend. Thankfully I'm a safe distance away so i wasn't directly impacted but i had friends who had to evacuate and hundreds of folks lost their homes. I work remotely and I have several coworkers who live in other cities but apparently this fire situation has made it onto major news stations outside of local. Last Saturday my partner and I had to prepare for evacuation because we didn't know where fires would hit as we were expecting a few because of the dry heat and high winds but nobody could anticipate this!!!

The morning I returned online to work as usual and got a really kind thoughtful email from our director checking to see if I was ok and to let her know if I needed anything. I responded with my appreciation and told her I was safe and away from it. Then later on I attended the weekly team meeting led by my boss's supervisor and he acted like it was just an ordinary Monday said nothing about the fact part of the state is burning to the ground. And said "Hope you all had a great weekend and everyone stayed cool in this heat." I think I could have accepted it if he was just clueless and didn't watch the news, but he was aware!

When it was my turn to update I coldly responded, "I would have loved to enjoy my weekend and had a lot I wanted to do, but instead I had to prepare to potentially evacuate because my city was burning to the ground."

I think he must have had an "oh sh--!" moment because his tune totally changed after that and he said "I guess I should have addressed it at the beginning of the meeting", and he apologized and said to let him know if I needed anything. So at the end of the day he did remedy the situation and asked during another meeting how my city was.

So I appreciated the after the fact, but I still can't help but be salty with the fact he apparently knew about the fires and still started off the meeting all happy-go-lucky stay cool! When literally thousands of people had to evacuate and hundreds to almost a thousand homes burnt to the ground. I mean I get he lives in a different city but to me and not just me, several people in my city work for the same place, it came off as extremely tone deaf and dismissive to all those other people who weren't nearly as lucky as me. Am I overreacting for expecting our "fearless leader" to show just a little bit of empathy and read the room? I mean I know I'm safe, but still have a to-go bag ready just in case things get worse and head to our area, but don't think it will. But I have friends who had to evacuate and am still concerned for and also this is my city and I love living here and being a part of it.

Thank you for reading! FYI this is my first post and I'm also typing on my phone.

It’s a short one from about 20 years ago. I'll cover just the start of the call, I worked for an online store that also had a wedding registry.

Me: "Thank you for calling "Company". How can I help you today?"

Customer: "Oh yes I'd like to buy something from my friends gift-list."

Me: "Oh certainly, first of all can I have your name."

Customer: "Mark Anonymous."

Me: "Is that Mark with a C or a K?"

..... A very long awkward pause, like at least 10 seconds….

Customer: "It starts with an M."

I still smile when I think about it. I like to imagine he told his friend about the idiot who worked at a call center and thought Mark started with a C or a K.

Characters: I (25M, 2001), my sister (25F, 2001), my cousin (31M, 1995)

In late April 2025, my cousin (31M) upgraded from a 2020 Toyota Camry to a Toyota GR86 and wanted to invite me for 3 May 2025, knowing that I love cars. On the afternoon of 3 May 2025, he told me to come during the evening so he can show me his new car. However, 30 minutes in (halfway between Boston and his house), the rain began. I was at a Tesla Supercharger charging my 2021 Tesla Model 3 Standard Range Plus. My cousin then told me that he had to cancel the appointment because of the rain, and so he rescheduled to 10 May 2025. In the morning of 10 May 2025, my cousin (31M) told me to drive over so I could work with him on modding his car and setting up LED lights. My cousin's mother (63F) and my cousin's father (75M, owner of the apartment) explicitly invited me and allow me to come in unannounced and without needing an invitation. However, when I arrived at my cousin's house at noon on 10 May 2025, he was then silent and wouldn't acknowledge my presence. My cousin was "busy" watching TikTok and laughing and giggling on his GR86 by himself but he claimed he was busy and remained silent throughout despite having more than enough time to talk for at least 5 minutes by that time as he was sitting his car alone and watching TikTok for at least an hour. It turned out he changed his mind the minute I arrived my sister (25F) came via the Commuter Rail instead to "work on modding his car and setting up LED lights", according to my cousin (unfortunately, my sister is not interested in cars nor does she even have a driver's licence or know how to drive, unlike me, of which I have had a license since 2019). What's funny, I graduated with an SB in Computer Science and Engineering (6-3) in 2022 (after 4 years in college) whilst my sister majored in biology, and graduated Summa Cum Laude in 2023 (after 4 years in college) with no experience in engineering.

My cousin later claimed he will be busy every weekend all the way into mid-June 2025 working on his car, but wanted to invite me on 15 June 2025. However, I was out of state on 15 June 2025. Therefore, the meeting got moved the week after on 22 June 2025, which was the first time he showed me a tour of his car, two months after he bought it. Since then, he is open about every topic except for 10 May or my sister. Therefore, I started leaving his house, and drove around his city, taking DoorDash orders (I don't do DoorDash often and only drive for DoorDash when I am out of town to pass time) from about 12h30 to 18h00, where I started eating dinner. At 19h00, I returned to my cousin's house as my cousin's mother (63F) invited me in. However, my cousin's mother wasn't aware that she blocked me on both iMessage/SMS and Messenger (it turned out sometime between 12h30 and 19h00, my cousin used his mother's phone and blocked my number and my account from contacting his mother). At the time, my cousin (31M) was still living with both of his parents in a 130 sq m triple decker apartment with him sleeping inside a 7 sq m bedroom, paying $500 a month in rent to his parents. During the whole 12h00-20h00 block, it is purported that my cousin's parents were in the bedroom and resting.

At 20h00, because I was shy with sensory quirks related to family and wanted my cousin's mother to get me to go in, when I (25M) came and peaked from the outside, I heard that my cousin (31M) and my sister (25F) were talking and flirting to each other in a soft and intimate/romantic tone. Even though my cousin's mother opened the door for me to come in and invited me in on 10 May 2025 when I was waiting outside, my cousin then barricaded the door and didn’t allow me to use the restroom, let alone enter and greet my sister, who was wearing her own t-shirt, pajama pants that she likely borrowed from either my cousin (31M) or my cousin's younger sister (27F) as she has never owned that pair. However, normally, when my sister goes to my cousin's house or any guest's house and stops for the day (I have seen her at my cousin's house several times before May 2025, spanning back to the early 2010s when we first immigrated to the US as students with us both receiving citizenship by 2019-20), she wears regular clothing like jeans, leggings, outdoors shirts, etc. When I was there on 10 May 2025 however, I did see her wear a normal t-shirt that she wears both outside and at home, but even though she wore socks and crocs (which is normal), I have seen her wear red checkers pajama pants, and I have never seen her wear it ever, but I have seen both my cousin (31M) and his sister wear it.

I really didn't know what was going on outside of the 20h00-20h05 window, but on phone calls after 10 May 2025, my cousin (31M) started cooling down and the call is normal unless I brought up that date, of which he would start to rage at me again. My cousin (31M) then told me that he didn't invite me as I have no "interest or patience" to work on cars, despite the fact he knew that I have been interested in cars since my early childhood (I started being obsessed and infatuated with cars since the age of 3 in 2004), with him telling me those phrases years before and immediately before 10 May 2025. However, after 10 May 2025, my cousin claimed I am less car savvy than my sister when my sister doesn't even know how to drive, let alone have interest in cars. It seemed so weird. He didn’t allow me to use the restroom, and even though his parents never blocked me on their phone, his parents accused my cousin of using their phone to block me from their phone number. My cousin (31M) as well as my sister (25F) and I (25M) have never had a partner, whether boyfriend or girlfriend and my cousin is heavily interested in getting a girlfriend soon and was has talked to me a lot about wanting to visit Thailand for sex tourism.

From my sister's early childhood all the way into 2025, my sister has been interested in dentistry and she aspired to go to DMD school so much that her alma mater claimed she will be a future dentist in an article they wrote about her in 2023. My sister even practiced for the DAT exams. Yet, sometime immediately after 10 May 2025 (likely the week or two after), she started pivoting towards clinical research nursing, unexpectedly breaking her long-time dream. Even then, she initially looked at MGH IHP for her clinical research nursing but sometime in June or July 2025, she looked at nursing schools out of state and moved out of New England, far from New England (fun fact, up until this point, the only metro area she has ever lived in the US was the Greater Boston area, and she had no intentions to move). Prior to June 2025, my sister has sought to firmly remain in MA but by June, she started thinking of leaving the state entirely.

Also, even though my sister's LinkedIn and Instagram remained normal and intact as of 2026 (but her Instagram activity was slowly winding down by June 2025), she did the salami slicing technique where she removed any selfies from her FaceBook account (FaceBook was where her family followed her) in June 2025, followed by change her profile image from a back facing one to a Pinterest image in October 2025, and then deleting the back facing image altogether in November 2025, and later deleting FaceBook and only keeping Messenger active in December 2025. My sister's social media has always been small ever since she was young, but she started to stop visiting any family gatherings in Massachusetts after May 2025 and started to distance from Massachusetts. Funnily, when my cousin upgraded from the S23 Ultra to the S25 Ultra in November 2025, he showed me his storage from his previous phone and it stated that videos take up 50GB of his storage and 40GB are "large files" (over 25MB). He doesn't record many videos, and typically, apps and even games don't end up in the "large files section" because many take less than 25MB (I use both Apple and Samsung as I upgrade my iPhone and Samsung devices yearly to the latest and greatest iPhone Pro Max and Galaxy S Ultra yearly so I know). He claims a lot of them are TikTok, but the longest TikTok videos he sent to me on Messenger are 5 minutes long (24MB), of which that is too small to be lumped into large files. My cousin doesn't travel, doesn't do YouTube, and doesn't record much. My cousin has a Dropbox account but claimed to hate the cloud.

Ever since the 10 May encounter, my relationship with my cousin has deteriorated day by day until now where even though he talks, he is hyper offensive towards me and racist towards me because I am of Northern Vietnamese/Chinese descent whilst he is of Southern Vietnamese descent and harbours deep Sinophobic views. When I asked him what happened on 10 May, he gets evasive and switches explanations here and there, from creating LED lights to creating fiber optics to arts and crafts for Christmas (he told me that in September 2025) and then to the fact he and my sister were in a non disclosure agreement as they were working together to “get” into YC (in September 2025 as well but prior to September 2025 and after September 2025, my cousin has stated that he knows and learnt very little programming, only up to beginners high school HTML). 

TL;DR: Even though both my cousin (31M) and his mother (63F) invited me (25M) for 10 May 2025, my cousin bait and switched me when I arrived just because my sister (25F) was there, was very defensive about the date, made contradictory statements about what happened on that day after 10 May 2025, and it marked the downturn of my relationship with my cousin despite the fact my cousin's mother invited me in to hang out with my sister for the day. 10 May 2025 also marked a major turning point for my sister herself as it led to her pivoting to another path, moving out of state (months later in late 2025), deleting her FaceBook account, and having a massive change despite her living stably in MA for so long. I feel like this event happened today.