I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Sad_Knee_6060

Originally posted to r/Marriage

My son claimed that my husband hit him and my husband denied it. Now he wants a divorce

Trigger Warnings: >!false accusations!<

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Original Post: June 22, 2026

My son from previous marriage is 13 years old. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have a newborn.

My son said that my husband slapped him and I kinda freaked out. I confronted him and he was confused (at least from his expression). He denied it vehemently and I kinda was not hearing it. He walked away from me.

After I calmed down after, I talked to him and he said that he didn't hit him and he has no obligation to prove anything. So if I want to be mad, be mad in another room. I did leave.

At night, when I joined him in the bed, he said he wants a divorce. He said that my son lied and he doesn't care why he lied. Whether he is jealous of him or want me for himself, he is not interested in finding out. He doesn't wanna deal with it and he doesn't want to be accused of something he didn't do. So he is out.

Here is the thing, I talked to my son in detail, and he is being evasive, defensive and I am seriously doubting him, but I do have the obligation to protect him..

Did I destroyed my marriage for nothing? What should I do? How do I know the truth. If my son lied than I need to deal with him and I am gonna be talking to him again and getting full story.

But my husband? He just left. I was not gonna leave him over just one slap without knowing the full story. He has never shown aggression towards him or anyone. I would have tried other methods first. Is that bad? Am I a bad mom for it that I didn't jump to divorce straight away?

I have tried to talk to my husband, but he basically said that he doesn't want to be painted as a bad person. It's not like he can prove his innocence. So he would rather not wait for another false accusation and just protect himself

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments in the original post

Top Comments

Commenter 1: Yea he didn’t go nuclear over just this one incident. You’ve probably done this before and he’s not willing to lose his freedom over a false accusation. I don’t blame him either. You either get your kid help or loose a good man, but it seems like you already have. > > Commenter 2: Not necessarily but this is the kind of wakeup call that only needs to happen once. > > If the kid is willing to falsely accuse him of this (if truly a false accusation) what else is he willing to accuse the husband of? > > People's lives have been ruined by accusations like that, and nobody wants to feel like they have to be on guard in their own home.

Commenter 3: I get the husband's side. People go to jail or prison over false accusations all the time and if I thought I might get put away because someone fibbed, I'd bounce too. You pointed out he's not an aggressive person. You can't blame him for wanting to protect himself. > > Commenter 4: Plus if the kid gets away with it this time, the lies will just get more and more extreme. The husband is right to get out now.

Commenter 5: So your husband who never shown signs of being violent was accused by your 13 y old son, who according to you is evasive, and the first thing you did was to be aggressive on your husband instead of talking to him and not give him the benefit of the doubt.

And you can't understand why he wants a divorce?

Next time that your son (now that he sees that you act first and ask questions second) tells you he hit him again or worse, you will again back up your son without any hesitation or proof and he will end up in jail.

Your husband is protecting himself, and rightfully so given he has a kid to take care and 0 support or trust from you.

Commenter 6: All it takes is one false accusation to ruin someone’s life. My stepdaughter once accused us of doing drugs while we were in the middle of a nasty custody battle and it derailed our lives for months and cost us quite a bit of money. Were we innocent? Absolutely, and testing proved it but that could have cost us our jobs and could have cost me my kids if my ex didn’t know me as well as he does. It had a lasting impact on our family and there is still distrust and uneasiness.

So, yeah… your husband is choosing himself and I don’t blame him. You didn’t sit them both down and ask what happened, you jumped to accusing him. If his own spouse doesn’t care to find out the truth before making a snap judgement, why should he stay?

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Update: June 23, 2026 (next day)

I questioned my son again and he admitted to lying. He has never acted out this way and he is crying now. I am still processing it and figuring it out.

I apologised to my husband, and he accepted it but made it clear that he has no interest in living with my son. So he is gonna leave and wants equal custody for our 10 month old, who is still breastfeeding btw. So I was against it

He basically told me that either I just agree or he will take me to court. He would rather not spend the money on lawyers, but he will bankrupt both of us if he is forced to. Which has happened to one of our neighbor.

So I am pissed, sad and angry. I have reported your DMs, and I am gonna keep reporting if you keep harassing me.

For people who were nice to me, thank you for it. My life is completely destroyed and nothing I can do about it

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any relevant comments in the update

Top Comments

Commenter 1: I can’t blame him. If he stayed, he’d be forever living in fear of your lying son doing it again and you flying off the handle and taking his side without getting the info first. He’s making the right choice to protect himself. Your son’s lies and you blindly siding with him could literally jeopardize his future with his biological child as well if he was wrongly convicted of abuse.

Commenter 2: Something tells me this is the last straw in a long line of things your son has done. Get a lawyer and get your kid the help he needs.

Commenter 3: Husband is right to leave to protect himself. You were right to question him and protect your son.

It's just a shitty situation for both of you, This seems to be unpopular from the comments I have read but I don't believe you deserve the harassment you are receiving.

Commenter 4: Congrats to your husband. I wish him all the best.

If I could, I’d pay for all the beers at the bar for him to celebrate.

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DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

For some context i am 16m.

Okay, so my mom, Jane (fake name for obvious reasons) has been withholding my phone from me for a month now and every time I request to have it back she always says "I don't wanna talk about it." Now this isn't a problem because she took it, it's a problem because I bought the phone myself and want my stuff back.

The reason she took it is because I snuck out and got brought home by police. Me sneaking out is not (and never has been) a common occurrence so i gave my phone up willingly. I was told I would get my phone back on the June 30th, but here we are in July, and...

Since the 30th I have contacted my mom 3 times asking about my phone and every time she has said "I never said that you'd get it back on the 30th. I said we'll see."

We had a conversation about the issue, transcribed below:

Jane: "What, OP?"

Me: "Mom I need my phone back"

Jane: "I'm not talking about this right now."

Me: "Mom, this can't be an 'I don't wanna talk about it' thing anymore. I have spent most of my summer break inside"

Jane: "And who's fault is that?"

Me: "Mine, yes, but, mom-"

Jane: "'But mom' my ass! You could have died!"

Me (audibly upset): "Mom I paid for that phone, you can't just keep it!"

Jane: "I'm your mom, OP, I can keep it however long i wantt! I'll break that motherfucker and then you won't HAVE a phone."

Me: "Mom, I-"

(Jane hangs up)

After this, she returned to acting nice until I asked about my phone

Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: I now realize I left out a few important details.

1 - I have been exceedingly apologetic an understand my punishment

2 - The exact context of the police encounter is as follows:

I was on my way home but took a detour to a friends house, since they saw i was in the area and knocked on what i thought was their door for somewhere between 10-20 minutes before realizing it was the wrong door. After the realization I walked away and started toward the right door, but after about 5 mins the police pulled up, talked to me, had my mom talk to me and took me home.

3 - The money for the phone came from a side job i was doing.

4 - I was paraphrasing, i did not speak rudely.

EDIT 2:

To those suggesting chores and other things, I don't live with my mother, I live with her 3 brothers (aka my uncles, Dick, Larry, and Jacob(fake names))

The reason for this is her living situation (which would require a separate post..)

I can see some of your logic, however, I wanna debunk some things.

1 - I was sober. It was late, dark, and the houses in that area look similar.

2 - WE (as in me, Larry, and Jane) agreed on the 30th. She herself stated that my phone would return on June 30th.

3 - I have a very bad perception of time. What feels like 10 mins to me could have been 5, 5 may have been 2 ½...

4 - I DO NOT HAVE CELL SERVICE. My phone operates on Wi-Fi and I paid for it in full.

5 - All contact with Jane has gone through my one of my uncle's phones.

the absolute BALLS on the commenters in this thread..it regards a bag the op uses for visits, which have not happened for awhile, so the bag sits unused.

op goes to use it, finds it missing.

op messages on work group chat looking for the bag..crickets.

bag mysteriously reappears.

op verifies its their bag as they took measures to make it uniquely identifiable.

the community roasts op for retrieving their bag.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1umhkv3/aita_for_taking_my_backpack_back_after_a_coworker/

the absolute lack of understanding of the concept of theft and retrieval of stolen property is just...I have no words

Im going to try to shorten this so any info needed I can answer. I got chewed out cause I didn’t know Reddit rules so if I did something wrong please tell me nicely 🥺

What do you guys think I should do or what is some advice you may have? That’s not just “you need to leave him.” we are on the verge of that already which has prompted me to make this post now because it has been on my mind to make the post for a while.

I have been with my boyfriend for 10+ years. We had a child together but ended up in addiction. My parents ended up adopting my children. That’s just the basics but it’s a very detailed case like most. My parents will not let my boyfriend (son’s dad) see his son so he hasn’t in 9 years.i hate it and wish he could see him but i barely get along with my parents and have to tip toe around them with my own children because they have total say in everything. We have been clean for almost 2 years but my parents hate us being together at all. I can’t make my parents let my bf see my son, if i brought it up it would make it worse for me and we are back peddling.

My bf and I have broken up a few times through the years and have periods of sober time but we always reconnect.

He has never been a person that cheats. Hes always been all about his girl, a little to controlling by never wanting to be without his girl beside him. Hes ALWAYS stood up for me no matter what. His family is the biggest drama starters I know and I’m not just saying that. They said things about our child, his mother had came at me for no reason except for being so messed up and fought me, made status’ about us when me and my bf are fighting. They are in our business 24/7 and I do blame that on him.

When we got back together this time A LOT was different with him. I went into cardiac arrest and didn’t actually remember anything till after 3 weeks, 2 days before I was released. In this time he still would talk to some girls he had done stuff with when we broke up that we had fought about because why are you talking to them when their intentions are clear.

Then we get into a huge fight and he would turn off his phone at night or put it on do not disturb or my calls on silent, he would tell me he’s going to bed but wasn’t, he told me he was at a gas station gambling for over four hours and the four is just what I know of, on Mother’s Day he did not call or text or turn his phone off of silent or unblock me until the end of the day. There is more, but this was all in a two week span.

There’s been a couple other fights since then because of trust and trust is a big thing in a relationship I know that. I have cut total contact with his whole family and he can’t stand that, but all of his sister‘s friends are people that he has slept with and most of them are friends with her because he brought them to her house to sleep with them so after trying to trust him and letting him do what he wants because I have no reason to doubt anything except for those two weeks. Drama just kept happening with these girls and all this stuff because of his family so I said I don’t want him going there. His excuse was that since he can’t see his son, his nephew that is about three helps him a lot. I understand that also because my nephews helped me a lot when I didn’t have my children so I sympathized with it and just set boundaries but those boundaries were never held up on his side.

Eventually, it came to the point that is right now and I need advice on. He leaves early in the morning when he wakes up and doesn’t come back until later at night. If I say I’m leaving to go to one of the three places I go to then he will stay home because he doesn’t want me to leave until it gets late enough that he knows I will not go out in the dark or leave to go somewhere and he will leave.

When he is gone, he’s very nice to me and calls me baby in this in that but when he’s home, he’s rude and ignores me and just argues with me every day.

An important thing to add is that I am chronically ill and cannot do much. I am in bed about 4 to 5 days out of the week and have to plan being in a flare if I do something for one day and going outside in the heat, humidity or sun is impossible. He cannot seem to understand how sick I am and why I can’t go outside so that’s putting a very big block an argument into everything. He also says I can go with him and invite me to go to his families, but why would I go somewhere when I am not wanted there and not respected nor do I wanna be there. Like I said before he does not like me to go anywhere without him and asked if I was going to see my children to spend the Fourth of July with them and I said no. He replied with “why not “ and I replied with “cause it’s too hot for me” and he is now mad that he is not “able” to do anything like go to his sisters today because I can’t do anything which he knew and we had already discussed when arguing that summer isn’t going to be the same with me sick like this. So he WANTS me to leave so he can go to his sisters.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I have exhausted all options but I’m still trying. He saved my life when I went into cardiac arrest, and six months later, saved me from drowning in the bathtub from having a seizure. When I had a seizure is when I got clean and so did he. In my heart it’s hard to let go knowing he saved my life, and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him nor would I probably be clean.

I don’t know how to make this shorter so I made it as short as possible, but there is a lot more in between everything and I just don’t know if I should walk away or keep trying. I love him, I do but I really think he’s seeing someone else or he is doing what we got off of with his mom. Yes she used to use with us, his dad and mom and step dad. His dad is sober that I know of but his mom is not.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/nathaliebeta

Me [31/F] with my Fiance [33/M] Fiance best friend [33/F] have a weird relationship, driving me insane

BoRU 1

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Stalking, obsessive behavior, controlling behavior!<

Editors Note: because of character count and length, all previous posts will be summarized. The previous BoRU has all full posts

Original Post  May 3, 2015

In the original post concerns OOP and her fiancé regarding his lifelong best friend, Sandy. Who he selected to be his female "best man" at their upcoming wedding. While OOP tried to accept their exceptionally close bond which included daily contact, late-night phone calls, and open expressions of love, she became increasingly uncomfortable with their history, lack of typical boundaries, and a tip from a friend hinting at a potentially sexual past between them. The final straw came when the fiancé admitted that during a past trip to Jamaica when they were both single, they participated in a "couple swap" with another married pair. Though he insisted that he and Sandy never actually slept with each other.

Update 1  June 6 2015 (1 month later)

OOP confronts her fiancé, demanding that Sandy be replaced as best man and cut out of their lives entirely. When he refuses to abandon his best friend but offers to ease contact and skip the bachelor party, she gives him an ultimatum to choose between them prompting him to immediately call off the wedding and end the relationship stating that if she cannot trust him after years of complete honesty, it isn't worth the trouble. Before leaving, he confirms the Jamaica story but clarifies that while they were all naked and swapping did occur, he and Sandy only slept with the other couple's respective partners and never with each other. In the aftermath, OOP realizes she acted out of jealousy and regrets sending harassing texts to Sandy, and desperately tries to win her fiancé back only to find he has packed his things, left his keys and cut off all communication completely.

Update 2  Dec 29, 2015 (6 months after last update)

In update 2 OOP reveals that months of stalking and harassment towards her ex and Sandy led to a meeting with Sandy, where OOP realizes how everything is messed up and she went too far. Things such as following the breakup OOP repeatedly tried to corner her ex-fiancé at his workplace, tracked his movements and flooded him, his sister, and his parents with messages leading her ex to block her and change his phone number twice. Sandy eventually met with the OOP to deliver a final warning that the ex-fiancé was preparing to file a restraining order if the harassment did not cease. OOP tried to downplay her behavior as a series of misunderstandings and blamed Sandy for being toxic and threatening, the intervention OOP to come to terms that the engagement was permanently over and that she needed to cut contact, focus on her own therapy and attempt to move on with her life.

New update

10+ years update consequences and lesson learned  June 22, 2026

Have not been in reddit for a while here is the original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/34r6ah/me_31f_with_my_fiance_33m_fiance_best_friend_33f/

Hello

I am Alive...well, it has been a little over 10 years from my last update.

The other day I was listening to some facebook reel, and what do I find? My old story, I haven't been on reddit for a while and had a hard time tracking my old account and my password, I have some news, this is going to be long.

First let me tell you I am doing much better, I had to move in with my mother as her health has not been the best, I am a single mother and have a wonderful daughter unfortunately due to circumstances she lives with her father. My sister is not doing so good, she has struggled with weight issues and depression , things are improving for her and she has some lovely pets to keep her company.

I am in a much better place now, I have had a lot of therapy and it has helped me cope with a lot of issues, understand things differently, making me a better person. My life has been a lot tougher than I expected, I am trying to focus on being a good mother, a good daughter and good sister.

I have some nice co-workers. Sometimes we go out and hang out after work, just a shade of the old social life I used to have. It has been humbling.

I have not been lucky on the dating scene.

I will be as honest as I can, it's been a long time so I can't remember every detail, however I believe it to be therapeutic to get this out.

I did get served with criminal charges for stalking and harassment, it was a lot of trouble for me, it is too long and painful, but the highlights are.

My sister and I could not contact my ex in any way.

I had to stay some distance away from him, I could not contact him via third parties nor use anyone else to get messages to him.

His family was off limits

I could not contact his work

I could not go to his house

I did not see him in person again, it was all through his attorney.

I had to get a lawyer, at first I thought I did not need one, in my hubris I believed I was in the right and had nothing to fear, I was angry and felt wronged, however my ex's  lawyer contacted me and told me I needed one asap because this was no civil court, the charges were coming from the state, he told me I would most certainly go to jail, my mom helped me pay for one, it was not cheap.

It was humiliating and very eye opener, we met with someone from the prosecutor’s office (can't remember the title) they presented a large number of printouts of the messages I had sent my ex, sandy and his friends. There were prints out of the social media post I made, there were recordings of the voice messages me and my sister left him, his sister, Sandy and a couple of our friends, there were call logs of when I contacted his work, recordings of said calls, statements from our old group of the people who I believed were my friends, from his family, from his sister including the ones in which I was just venting, emails I had sent, emails my sister had sent, even some from fake accounts in which I pretended to be someone else. They did not paint me in good way, now all these years later I admit they were too much, in particular the ones were I threaten him.

There were incident reports from his HR department due to the harassment I had done, there were several police reports as well, video of me driving by his house, parking outside of his new place, he took the videos. He knew I was watching so we weren't as sneaky as we thought we were.

The final incident that made me think long and hard and convinced me to snap out of it was when me and my sister were following him in her car and we got pulled over by the police, we were detained, my ex had called emergency services... that was .. the moment that made me realize I had gone too far, that was of course included, it scared me.

My mom was devastated when she saw all the information. She was crying and weeping asking me and my sister on how we could have done this.

Believe me it was damaging, did not paint us in a good way, and there was no excuse for what me and my sister did, I can't believe how unhinged I was.

My ex's lawyer was not working for the state, he was the one who gathered everything, he was very friendly and not aggressive at all, he told us my ex just wanted this solved, and be done with it, very professional, not like they appear on tv or shows, he was like: you messed up bad, but we don't want to screw you 100%

At that time I asked my attorney if we could fight the charges or do something about it, he said we could but we would have to find someone else, he was not taking it. He told us this had been going on for a long time and we would be lucky if I stayed out of prison, he did not hold back, there were tears, fights and blames between my mom, my sister and me.

I contacted my uncle, my moms older brother who has always been a father figure, he met with the lawyer as well, when he saw all the evidence and heard all the story his eyes filled with tears, he could not believe what we had done, still 10 years later our relationship has not recovered, he looked so shocked, he said he had failed. The look of disappointment in his face is something that still haunts me

He told the 3 of us to take the deal, accept the restraining order, the probation, the misdemeanor, as it was the best we could get and it could get very ugly if we fought it, including possible jail time. We came to an arrangement, he would reach the prosecutor.

I had to go in front of a judge and admit to it all, the prosecutor was there, he was the one that recommended the terms. I would accept the restraining order, no contact... probation for 3 years, community service, a big fine, therapy, group therapy, my ex was not present, his lawyer was but said nothing.

The Judge was very harsh, she did not mince words, she told me people have done prison time for less, that I was lucky my ex fiance had spoke kindly about me to the prosecution otherwise she would have imposed a more severe punishment, she asked me directly if I knew the difference between a felony and a misdemeanor? - she explained it- She asked how would we feel if the roles were reversed and my ex had done all these things to me,how would my family feel about it? That one hit hard and we all cried. Terrible terrible things I did. She had me read out loud some of the emails, texts and transcripts of the voice messages I had sent my ex and Sandy, it was so bad that it still rattles me, she asked me what I was I thinking? My attorney several times tried to say something, telling the judge that it was summarized, but she told him to shut up and to keep reading, she said I had to be accountable for all this, I was crying so hard when I read the messages, it was terrible, even when I was sobbing, the judge made me pause, compose myself and then to keep reading, the ones we sent Sandy were the worst of all, she made me read them all, my mom, my sister and me were crying the whole time, my lawyer was shocked about the reaction of the judge, It was horrible, long, time consuming, expensive and it was all on me, the Judge said at the end that she was not pleased with the results and if it were up to her my punishment would be severe. My lawyer was rattled and told us we were lucky, as he had worked with this judge before and had never seen her so upset. I had to get a bank loan at terrible rates to pay my mother and all this mess.

My ex did not want any restitution, so he did not go the civil court way, which my lawyer told me that once again we were lucky because we would have to pay a lot of money due to the amount of evidence and the length of time it had been going on. We got a separate private agreement, the lawyer made it clear that this was not a reward for my actions but a generosity as he wanted to move on cleanly.

At the end my ex would let me keep the car (it was his, I was using it ) transfer the title to me, and he would pay for therapy.

I did not see this coming, I was so caught up with the drama and thinking stupid scenarios that it bit me hard, still at the end he was being the better person.

The Lawyer provided me with a list of therapists, the first 2 were no good, the third one was the best.

After the 6 months were up I contacted his attorney and asked if my ex would be willing to pay for more sessions, his lawyer said my ex agreed if I kept my part of the bargain and not contact him ever again, he paid for an additional year of therapy that was in 2016 - 2017

He got married in 2018, of course I was not invited to the wedding.

All of my old group of acquaintances who I thought were my friends, stopped contacting me and cut me off. That tells me something right?

The wife of one of my ex friends, let's call her Jenny, was pretty much the only one of that group that had anything to do with me, She got divorced from her husband shortly after my trial, even though she did not say, I believe it was related to all this Sandy ordeal. We meet every once in a while. Later on She was the one who showed me the posts and the pictures of my ex wedding.

His wife seems nice enough, however looks simple and bland. They have 2 kids now.

I had a meltdown when I saw the pictures and it took me a lot to contain myself. Regarding Best friend Sandy, what can I say She was indeed the best man at his wedding, she wore a tux with bow tie and everything.

She seemed very close to his new wife, they had plenty of pictures together being friendly and going out, some at the beach. They had a bachelor party at San Diego instead of Las Vegas, I Believe for a convention or event or show of some sort, costumes and all that, a lot of pictures, some at bars smoking cigars and drinking,  couple of male friends with them as well, some I knew and recognized, some I didn't .

The old group was at the wedding.

I had a ton of question in my old posts that I could never answer so I will  do it now:

• I did not kill myself ,neither did my sister

• yes I  checked his phone, he didn't care about it, no he did not check mine, he could if he would have wanted , he did not.

• Yes I was honest, I did leave out some parts, like finding his new place and calling his work, following him around, and some more things I can't remember.

• Yes I lost my job at that time , that's the main reason I had so much time on my hands.

• The box of toys were not sex toys, they were some action figurines and some ships? cars?

• I stopped posting because my lawyer told me to shut it all down, I told my therapist about it and she said It was not the smartest move to take advice from stranger who only get a fraction of the story and even though it was a nice way to vent, it was not good to follow shitty advice

• Yes I was definitely a lot to handle and making demands were not the correct way to go. I can see it now, sad.. a very sad time for me. I have no excuse

• Yes I had feelings of abandonment

• Yes I have gotten help, a lot of help

• Yes I was angry, mostly angry with myself.

• Yes I was an idiot and got exactly what I deserved

• His family is not wealthy, they are maybe above middle class american, he did, does? very well in his work. He also has a younger sister whom I did not mention, she was nice to me at first then she just stopped interacting with me, I think she did not like me, this was way before the break up.

• I was immature and learned that ultimatums are not good unless you can live with the results of them.

• I was selfish and entitled, boy was I entitled

• Mom was very protective of me and my sister, I was kind of like the golden child so I felt I deserved things that were not my right.

• I was focusing on the wrong things

• My job was in retail, still is.

• Yeah she was always happy to see him

• No she was never rude to me , no she did not insult me

• No my Ex did not pay her things, not that I was aware, she was ok financially but I think that's because the father of her kids

• Pretty sure my ex was not the father of her kids, they are very similar to their father.

• I am not sure about the sneaking around when they were teens, she would sleep at his house, maybe in the same bed? His parents didn't care or didn't know, yes one time he was gone for about a week for something school related and she stayed at his parents house in his room while he was away,

• Yes when they were in collage she would stay in his dorm? apartment? cant remember

• He works in IT or worked in IT? made? makes? very good money. He was an expert in ZAP or SAP or TAP  (I remember he spoke about it all the time)

• I have to admit I was stalking him, I crossed the line and did not respect his limits, I was not thinking straight I noticed some of the messages were egging me on, and telling me I should confront him, find his new place, send him messages ..not to beg....that I would wear him down...that he would come crawling back ...not very bright on my part. Only a couple of people called me out and told me I was wrong and acting crazy, some offered help, some contacted me directly telling me to reach out to a professional, some let me vent, thank you from the bottom of my heart, The rest was just feeding my anger, my ego, my entitlement, I recently read all the crap I wrote, I can't believe some people would think it was ok or justified to act the way I did, it is not completely understandable to demand an answer or an apology from someone who has made clear that does not want to be contacted, Only one redditor posted that they were only getting one side of the story and that the community should stop enabling me, thank you.

Some things I did not mention, like the car was his, I was the one using it, he paid our rent and all the services at our apartment, when he left he removed himself from the lease and paid for the last 3 months I was on my own after that and could not afford it , that was the reason why I moved with my sister.

Yeah he left all the furniture and electronics when he moved, he only took his things even though he had purchased all the rest. I sold some, took some and gave a little bit away.

Jenny from the friend group, used to say Sandy wasn’t “one of them,” and at the time I didn’t question that the way I should have. I think that was the same reason my ex's older sister did not like her, she was always a little snobbish, she said Sandy was like a stray that her brother had adopted. When I asked her to elaborate  she said it was because her family was trailer trash (sandys), she was always at their house, that my ex would feed her, teach her manners, help her at school and then send her on her way back to the hood and for that reason sandy followed him around..hence a stray. My ex and his family grew up in a very nice neighborhood, sandy family was on the other side of the road.. if you get the meaning.

How did they meet? I think it was some kind of summer camp when they were 8- 9 years old? elementary school?

How did we meet? He was with some friends, I was with my sister at a bar and they bought us a round of drinks and invited us over to join them

He was very extrovert and friendly , very confident, I am kind of introvert and not so friendly

He was  handsome, was tall, wore thick rim glasses and that gave him a nerd look, he did not like to wear contacts, he was in shape and had a nice smile yeah in those days I would think that Sandy was way out of my ex fiancee league

Regarding Sandy ex, he was wealthy, older than us, a couple of times he took us on holidays all inclusive on his dime. I don't know the reason why he divorced, but at my ex wedding I saw him in the pictures.

He did not seem to care about my ex and Sandy relationship. He was really sophisticated guy and seemed like a good father to his kids

After Jenny's divorced all the friend group cut her off. I am still in touch with her every once in a while but would not consider her a friend

Yes, my ex paid for the holidays and the trips. We went to Germany once for some work training, I did not like it very much as I was alone for the whole time.

Yes I was judgmental and I think the social status clouded me

No I am not still stalking him, every once in a while curiosity gets the best of me and I snoop on his wife's social media or on one of his friends

My therapist mentioned one thing that the judge said, that has stayed with me. How would I feel or how would my family feel if my ex did everything I did? It would be scary..very scary and I would probably be traumatized.

I wanted to post this long update because it is very important to get the message  across, actions have consequences I faced and still am facing mine. We are only getting one side of the story, I must confess when me and my sister did all those things we felt right and justified, for some reason I believed I could change the outcome of something I had created, if it was a man doing these things to me, my sister or my daughter, I would be terrified. I have been to support groups, therapy session, victims advocacy, did a lot of community service, I heard horrifying stories, with horrifying results, justice was kind to me, I do not know what my ex told the prosecutor or if he spoke with the judge or sent a letter, but I was lucky, people have gotten more for less, my ex could have been cruel, he could have requested the judge for the maximum penalty, a felony charge that would most certainly have landed me in prison, he could of taken his car back, he could have not paid for the therapy, he did not, he just wanted to be left alone, The judge made it very clear that she was not happy with the end result, my lawyer told me so.

Help your friends, help your community if someone close to you is having trouble with obsessive behavior, anger issues, harassment, depression, trouble thoughts, get them help, listen to them, if you are in a dark place, it's ok to ask for help, there is no shame in it. Once in a relationship it is on you and on your partner how much you have to reveal about your past, honesty is good, but not a deal breaker, we all carry luggage and we all have a past that we cannot change.

No means No

This will definitely be my last update, I am done with this saga. It's been 10 years and that's enough, also I finally learned what TLDR stands for so

TLDR: Girl finds old reddit post, updates, gets what she wants, gets consequences, gets help, learns, and gets better.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Background: My partner and I are occasional snorers. He is however a light sleeper and is disturbed by my snoring and I on the other hand am not usually bothered by it. I have tried various thing (sprays, nostri expanding things) to stop this issue. Since the incident I would like some opions on, I have realised that my snoring is bad when drinking or sick so have manged to control it.

So some months ago, my partner woke me up to say that I was snoting, i apologied and changed postions. A few minutes later, i felt him pull my hair, not super hard, but enough to hurt a little. I hadnt fallen back asleep fully yet so there is no way I mistook it. When i called him out on it, he first denied it. Then admitted he did it to wake me up cause i was disturbing his sleep. He went into a shame spiral apologising over and over, i do think he felt bad. I was scared at the time but have since processed it. One of my deep fears is ending up with someone and then later down road realsing that they are abusive when we have a marraige and kids.

We have judt started wedding planning and sometimes my brain brings up this incident. We have been together since we were 22 and 24 and this is my only serious relationship, so sometimes i dont know what an acceptable level of messing up is. I know he would never physically hurt but this incident had made me feel like he probably doesnt respect me as muvh as i do him. I kind of dont know weather this was a big deal or not. Would appriciate your options and any advice.

AITAH for calling out my coworker in the front office in front of other people?

I have an almost 19 year old son with trypanophobia. It is the phobia of needles and medical procedures. My kid also has EDS and does deal with chronic pain.

I had to leave work early one day to go to the ER with him. It was extremely stressful for everyone involved. Something has to be WRONG for him to tell anyone he has to go to the ER.

The next day I was telling a coworker about the entire ordeal and another coworker saids, "Yeah, I don't like needles either but I don't need my mom to hold my hand when I get one.

So I asked him, "Do you start sweating profusely, break out in hives, trembling controllably, and your heart race to 200 bpm when the doctor enters the room while on sedatives? No? Then you don't need your mommy. My son needed a guardian there to articulate his medical conditions and give consent if he should lose consciousness, which he did."

The coworker got mad and I guess tattled on me to the director. The director told me I shouldn't have spoken to him like that in front of others.

Before people ask, I was in a side office talking to my coworker with the door open. He was standing in the main office area, eavesdropping on our conversation, talking through the doorway.

First time redditor here, I have never been one to post things on the internet, but I am genuinely SO confused and need to figure this out for the sake of my own sanity.

For a little background, I, 26-year-old female, have recently gotten into sourdough bread making, and after some of my coworkers bought baguettes from me, my hobby became a successful side hustle. I get around 20-35 orders a day. Around two weeks ago, I baked Exactly 50 baguettes, which I know because each baguette form/tray makes ten baguettes, and I baked five forms, SO 50. when all of the baguettes were done, I went to bed and left them to cool on my counter. When I woke up, I immediately went to package the cooled baguettes, and I came up two baguettes short, so I recounted, only 48 baguettes. Because I always bake a few extra baguettes for myself and to give to my friends, this was not a problem, but I still was confused as to what happened few days later, the same thing happened again, except I came up four baguettes short. The very next day, I took EXTRA care to count out the baguettes, exactly 30. After they baked, I lined them up I three equal rows of ten, SO 30.I went to bed, and the nest morning, each row only had 9, so 27 baguettes. This confirmed that the baguettes were in fact going missing.

Honestly have no clue how they could be disappearing, I don't have any pets that could eat the bread, no roommates or a partner to steal it, and no one other than myself has a key to my apartment. I highly doubt that anyone would be able to break in through my front door without me noticing, and while I do have a balcony, I am on the fourth floor, so i doubt that anyone would scale the building. I do have neighbors that I suppose could access my balcony from theirs, but each balcony has about an 8-foot gap. The door to my balcony does not lock, so if someone could get to my balcony, they would easily access the bread. The fact that anyone would ever break into a house to steal bread is so weird and unbelievable. I am not a sleepwalker to my knowledge, I am not schizophrenic, and I am not on any medications nor do I need to be. All of the reasonable answers to this mystery are so unlikely and frankly silly. I ordered a small hidden game camera to see if the baguettes are truly being stolen, which should arrive tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am of sound mind, so if this happens again, I will really start to get scared. At this point, I really just need the reddit community to help me solve this. I would greatly appreciate any of your theories and will hopefully update in a few days about the situation.

TL; DR baguettes have been going missing from my apartment, and I cannot figure out why or how

FIRST UPDATE: I have no idea if this is the right way to update, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong:)

I want to thank all of you that offered advice and theories!!! checked my carbon monoxide detector, and it was fine! I do not use weed or even alcohol, and I don't wake up full, so really don't think i am the bread thief. as for my landlord, I believe she would never do something like this, she is a very sweet middle-aged lady and has never given me a reason to believe that she would go into the apartment without my knowledge.

at this time, I am afraid that it is likely a human thief, because of how neatly the baguettes disappeared. I have taken some precautions, by barricading the front door, the balcony and my bedroom door. Honestly, I don't feel unsafe, because I highly doubt a bread thief would try to kill me lol. because of my baking schedule, I did not bake today but set out 15 cookies on a plate to see if any disappear. (they are oatmeal chocolate chip, homemade) the camera should arrive at around 4 Tomorrow. I will also be baking tomorrow, and I will be able to set up and video. I ordered a lock for my balcony, but that won't arrive until next week. I have not contacted the police yet because I don't really have much evidence, and nothing else has gone missing. Wish me luck! Ill update tomorrow morning to let you know if the cookies were taken :)

TEENY SECOND UPDATE:

I was just scrolling through the comments. and one commenter gave the link to this confessions post;

 https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/s/oTpuSlOW5o

this post was submitted after my initial post and after my mention of the cookies.

I know that this is fake. because you cannot see or smell the cookies from the balcony, and i have been home all day, with no possibility of anyone entering my apartment

i honestly think that this is funny, and i am not upset, but i just wanted to clarify that the confession is illegitimate :)

THIRD UPDATE:

I woke up this morning safe thank goodness :)

when I took down the barricade for my room and went to the kitchen, I checked to see if any cookies had gone missing. All 15 were still there. The balcony and front door barricades were both intact!

this could mean a few things:

1. Rats don't like oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
2. The barricades stopped an intruder

3.The thief knows my baking schedule, every other day breaks in, and because I'm baking today, will smell the bread and try to steal bread again

I fear the third option is most likely. For now, I will have to wait until the camera arrives. Ill update soon!

FOURTH UPDATE:

the cameras have arrived!!!!

there are actually four motion activated game cameras that my father recommended for the quality and easy use! (he is a hunter)

I set one at my entryway, one at my counter, one at the balcony, and one on the balcony.

I am currently baking baguettes, so if the thief's signal to break in is the scent of bread baking, I suspect I will have a guest tonight. I briefly considered the idea of staying in a hotel tonight to be safe, but i have a Glock to defend myself if needed. Yet again, I don't think a bread thief is going to try to kill me lol. I will still barricade tonight though. I think that the cameras will be able to reveal what's been going on :) my hope is that somehow, I am the problem, but I fear that someone may be breaking in!

FIFTH UPDATE:

a few commenters suggested checking for secret panels or other places someone could break in. I thoroughly checked the apartment and didn't find anything suspicious, so my intruder most likely came in through the balcony.

SIXTH UPDATE:

no sign of the thief yet!

the baguettes are in position; I am barricaded safely :)

HUGE SEVENTH UPDATE:

THE THIEF HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!!

at around 1 am in the morning, the cameras picked up some movement, and when I looked at the live footage on the counter, THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)

so, I called the police and stayed in my room. While they were on the way, I was watched the man steal two baguettes (I wasn't crazy), and then it clocked to me how he got in. THE HUGE VENT ON MY CEILING!!

(For context the vent is almost directly above the refrigerator) he has been climbing out of the vent, onto the refrigerator, then the counter, and lastly the floor. This was confirmed by watching him disappear. The police arrived maybe 2 minutes later, and when I explained what was going on, they went into the vent after him. He was arrested for breaking in, and I was asked to go down to give a statement. This took a really long time, so sorry I could not update sooner! as to who this man is, he IS one of my neighbors!

because this is now a legal thing, I don't think I should say much, but what I will say is that I never would have expected this from him! I didn't know him well at all, but he seemed nice enough. The thing is that I still can't figure out his motivation? Like I know that baguettes are good, but how do you figure out the vents, and go onto break in and steal baguettes?

obviously, I notified my landlady, and she was very understanding that I will be leaving. The officers said that I will be able to go and get my things later today. Since I don't have anything else to do today, I am going to see my psychiatrist and then stay at my friend's house until I can find a new apartment.

thank you so much for your support, ideas, and funny comments! I am giving you all metaphorical baguettes! :)

WAIT NO ILL JUST GIVE YOU THE(scaled down) BAGUETTE RECIPE (makes about 4)

WARNING: vague instructions, I am really bad at explaining things :), also may cause thieves to break in and steal baguettes

ingredients:

1.370 grams unbleached bread flour

2. 200 grams warm water

3.100 grams active sourdough starter (you can order one online )

4. 10 grams salt

instructions:

1.mix all ingredients and knead dough. Cover and let rest in a bowl for 1 hour.

2.perfom stretch and pulls, let rest for another hour.

3.repeat second step two more times, then let rest for 4-5 hours

4.shape into baguettes, and cold proof in fridge overnight.

5. preheat oven to 420 degrees Fahrenheit, place baguettes in oven. on the lower oven rack place a cookie tray with ice cubes to create steam.

6. bake for 1 hour, let cool completely

7. get baguettes stolen

UPDATE EIGHT:

I am doing well today! It hit me that this all happened when i went to my psychiatrists yesterday.

she helped me process this as much as possible!

also, apparently the thief is not able to pay his bail, so he will stay in jail until the court hearing, which makes me feel a lot safer :)

I'll try to update as soon as we get a verdict!

I feel like this should be my theme song

So my house backs on to a set of 4 houses, they're terrace houses. I was in my garden with my 2 dogs playing and my big dog decided to do a poo. Now I'm a proud home owner, my garden is clean, nice and tidy and I've never left a jobby in the garden...1 singular poo was left at the back of the garden for 10 minutes while my dogs finished playing and then I put them in the house and got cleaning supplies.

I then came back out with 2 poo bags as my dog is a small pony, and my hose to clean the grass. Anyway, I'm crouched down cleaning and I feel burning on my forehead, I look up and there's my normally nice and friendly neighbour SCOWLING at me through the gap in the fence.

I was obviously very taken aback and sort of low-key fell back with fright. She started screaming at me, I mean screaming about how that dog poo had ruined her whole day. I laughed because honestly I did think she was joking, I mean it's 1 poo and his poo doesn't even smell very bad because of his diet, obviously it's still a poo but he eats plenty fibre so they're solid. Anyway moving on from the poo..my neighbour was not joking.

She proceeded to call me and my husband lazy, she called my dog fat (he isn't, he's a puppy) and said that she'd be putting poison on the fence line!! Now we don't share a fence, my neighbours garden and mine are separated by a large path and there are bins along the path. So essentially, she's saying she's putting poison in my garden. I was so taken aback I didn't say anything because I just thought wtf?

I went back out a few days later playing ball with them, she said that they shouldn't be out the back garden she started shouting again!! I really had enough, I'm going through cancer treatment just now and it just upset me as we got on so well previously. I asked her to leave me alone and if she threw, sprayed or put anything dodgy in my garden I'd seek legal advice.

I left it at that and decided not to speak to her again, my cleaner has a friend who deep cleans gardens, so she came out and cleaned the whole garden and fence line and I've added a little fence to stop my dogs going up the back of the garden where potentially shes putting poison.

Today I had a chap at the door, from none other than the council! They said they'd received a complaint that my garden was covered in dog poo. Literally everywhere. The council lady came out back and laughed and said well very clearly it's a false allegation.

So I filled her in on all the drama that's been going on, and she told me that it was that neighbour who'd complained. I wasn't surprised and the other neighbours next door to the accuser had told the council lady that the accuser was crazy and that they could see into my garden and it never had poo. Apparently everyone in their row has had issues with her.

The council lady went back round to the neighbour and told her to stop wasting council time and that she could clearly see my garden was clean and that it was a false allegation.

My husband saw the neighbour spraying stuff over the fence STANDING ON A LADDER. He went out and told her to go away, and that we had CCTV.

I called the police today and they said someone would call me back as I am really worried about my dogs. We're actually looking at moving now cause of it. We keep a tidy home, we don't have parties, our dogs are both very well mannered quiet dogs who don't bother anyone.

I cannot understand why she has launched this attack on us! Is it a mental issue? The council said she'd phoned them 20 times and the first time they'd told her if we owned our house there was nothing they could do but after 20 calls they decided to come out.

I spoke to this lady 2 months ago and she was absolutely fine, I took her flowers round 2 years ago when her husband passed away and I drove her to an appointment a few months after that. Why has she suddenly decided she despises us?!

Hello Mark and fellow wafflers! I've been a dedicated listener for more than a few years now, and still appreciate each and every video that's come out in the last few years. I don't know how to properly express that I think listening to your videos has genuinely changed my life for the better, and I will never be able to express my gratitude enough about how much your videos got me through some very hard times when I needed them most. That being said, I do hope that I can once again gain some insight from some fellow wafflers who might know how to navigate the situation I'm in.

Some context: Almost three years ago I moved out of my Dad and Stepmom's house and with my Auntie because of an unpleasant situation (if you'd like more background info check my profile for that other post). The result is that I've been living with my Auntie and Uncle until I was hospitalized for some serious mental health problems. Since I got out, it was decided I would go back to live with my Dad and Stepmom and improve on my mental health with familial support. How well has that support been? Well, not exactly great, but at least it's been better than it was about three years ago. But that's not the problem.

Stepmom has three daughters, ranging from Adult (A), Teenager (T), and Child (C). For context, I'm in my early 20s. I'm a little older than A, but not by much.

Worrying about coming back to live with my Dad and Stepmom for multiple reasons, I really didn't want to come back to the same situation I was in three years ago. My Dad assured me that everything would be different, and "put in the past" so to speak, and I decided at the end of the day to believe him. "A" and I even had a conversation about her feelings towards me, and she assured me that she didn't have negative feelings and everything would be started fresh. I decided to believe her. For the most part, everything's been fine.

But about the last couple of days everything changed. You see, the whole family is on this app that can track your location, how fast you drive, battery life, etc, and everybody included in a certain group can see each other. It's supposed to be for safety, but they mostly use it to see who's coming home from work, how far they are from home, etc. I was on it a few years ago with them, but decided to turn it off and leave it after the unpleasant situation. A few days ago, my Dad decided to invite me back into the group so I could be included again.

Then, my Dad comes home from work a day ago and goes to "T" and asks her why he can't see all three girls anymore. Apparently, the two older girls decided to disable their locations and leave the group because I could see their locations now. They made a whole new group without me. I overheard my Dad and "T" arguing about it, and then my Dad got really pissed off because "T" said even Stepmom approved of the situation.

Spoiler alert: Stepmom did not approve of the situation. So they lied to my Dad.

Then, yesterday, I was helping the youngest sister, "C", figure out how to stream youtube from her phone to the TV. I showed her how to do it on mine first, then, showed her how to do it from her phone. The thing is, though, my phone is a samsung and hers is an Iphone, so they connect a little differently and I had to figure out how to show her how to connect her Iphone to the TV. I had to go into her settings to enable something, then gave her phone back to her when she went to go stream youtube in her room.

Apparently, "T" walked by and saw me doing this. She didn't say anything to me at the time, but this morning my Stepmom told my Dad that "T" saw me on "C"'s phone looking at the location app looking for their locations - which I didn't - and later, my Dad called me and asked if I was lying to him. I said no! I pointed out that I had the location app on my phone, and that the girls were home - so why would I even need to know where they were at anyway? Luckily, he believed me, but they lied about me again.

This may be me feeling deja vu, but I can see all this going downhill already*.* The last time I was living with my Dad and Stepmom and the girls started lying about me, my Dad and I started fighting. He didn't know who to believe, and I guess I'm afraid that's going to happen again. I haven't done anything to piss them off, and I've made sure to just stay out of their way so they don't get upset with me, but it seems like no matter what I do they seem angry with me. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this, or how to handle the relationship between my stepsisters and I, I would appreciate it.

Thanks so much for listening!

This will be pretty long. Haven’t posted to Reddit before so forgive me for formatting. 

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A bit of background. I (M, 29) have been friends with Bride (F, 30) and Groom (M, 29) since early days in school. We’re part of a big friend group that has remained close after school and even after uni. Although we’re all friends, some are obviously closer to others. Bride and Groom were my closest friends and I was to theirs. 

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Bride and Groom dated for years and when they got engaged, they started planning a destination wedding. Everyone was looking forward to it, since it’s difficult to get everyone together it would be great for us all to reconnect and celebrate their wedding after years of them being together. Groom asked me to be his best man and I was so happy to be asked, since I’d known them the longest I had so many stories and really wanted to do a good speech about their journey that they would love. 

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The wedding invitations went out about a year before the date and they included a section that everyone was to make their way to the venue but they would arrange transport from the venue back to the main area of the city where everyone was staying. If people wanted it, you needed to say yes when you RSVP’d (important for later). They picked a really nice place in Spain, so when our friend group was booking accommodation some people booked hotels, mainly the couples, and others booked an Airbnb. I booked an Airbnb with three other friends: Chris (M, 29), Mark (M, 30) and Sarah (F, 29). 

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Anyway, the lead up to the wedding, no issues, no drama, all good. I was talking to the Bride about a month before the wedding and she mentioned a lot of people said yes to the transport from the venue back to the city after the wedding, so she booked a coach. The plan was the first would arrive, pick people up and drop them off and then come back and pick up the rest. She messaged everyone this detail in our group chat. 

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So, wedding day. And it was a great day. Food good. Speeches went really well and the place was beautiful. Everyone had a great time and it was just great to be in a room with all your friends in one place again. Both Bride and Groom had a great time, although they did get really drunk. Not really a problem, as they were having a good time and that’s all we wanted for them, but it didn’t help with what happened next. 

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As the night went on, some people left early and got a taxi, so they weren’t getting the coach. Also to note, the Bride had given a list to the organiser for the driver on who was supposed to get on the coach first and who was getting on the second pick up. It wasn’t communicated with anyone but we figured it’ll work out on the night. The first ‘coach’ arrives at the end of the night and it’s not a coach but 3 taxis. It got disorganised from here. The Bride and Groom got frustrated as nobody knew if they should get on this one or wait for the next one. The drivers were frustrated and the organiser for the drivers was screaming people’s names to get in the taxis. But since some people had already left, it added to the confusion. So the organiser put the list on a table of everyone who was supposed to get in the first trip back and told everyone if your name is on the list to get in one of the taxis asap. Myself, Chris, Mark and Sarah checked the list since we’re all in the Airbnb together and we weren’t on it, so we figured we’re on the next one. 

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Eventually the taxis got filled and off they went. About 30 mins later they were back for round 2. At this stage the Bride and Groom were stressed and annoyed at the situation so I told them to just grab their stuff and I’ll help the organiser sort the list this time. So they left me to it. I sat with the organiser in the venue and we went through the list of the people who had already left. Me and my friends from the Airbnb noticed that none of us were on this list either, so I told them we’ll order an Uber for ourselves once I’m done sorting the taxis for everyone else, since we realised from a head count there were still too many people for the taxis. Then I’m running around with the organiser and helping get everyone into the taxis. During this I checked on the Bride’s mum and dad to make sure they have a space and they said yes, they are getting in a taxi with the Bride’s sister. 

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So most people got in the taxis and others ordered an Uber so everyone had a way back. I head over to my friends and tell them we can book an Uber now, but the organiser calls us over and says she can fit us all in one of the taxis and to jump in. So we do and the only other people in this taxi are the Bride and Groom. We open the door and the Bride and Groom tell us to “get in! get in!”. We do. Door shuts. Off we go. Then the Groom loses his absolute shit. 

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Groom starts screaming at the four of us saying we ruined their night, what the fuck are you doing. We wanted Bride’s family in this taxi with us. He’s proper losing his shit. We just stayed silent. Not sure how to react or what was going on. Then Bride tries to tell him “No. I never sent them the updated list” but he carries on in a cycle shouting and screaming at us and ignored her comment. Bride then kept quiet. One thing to know about the Groom is, when he’s drunk he gets very argumentative and he is always right. Always. Like if he is drunk and says the sky is red. It’s fucking red. And if you correct him he just gets nasty and argues more. This continues the whole car ride. When we got dropped off, Sarah apologised to the Bride and the Bride says “Well, you guys did ruin the night”, completely ignoring the fact all of us heard her mention she never sent an updated list. We just shut the door and then Sarah starts having a panic attack. She got stressed out because she thought we ruined their wedding. We chill for a bit until Sarah calms down and then head back to our Airbnb. We’re like what the fuck was that about. We just start debriefing on what just went down, then I start getting texts from the Groom saying “What the fuck”, “fuck you”, “ruined our wedding. Hope you're happy”. I didn’t reply. We just stayed up and talked more about it before going to bed. 

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The next day we were supposed to join the wedding party in a pub for Day 2 but we decided not to go. I did get messages from the Bride and Groom just letting us know what the plan was. They texted me as if nothing had happened. They pretty much were brushing the Groom's reaction in the taxi under the rug. Which they’ve always done and I wasn’t surprised. I was the only one who they texted so instead of going we met up with the rest of our friend group and filled them in. That turned into us day drinking and just talking about other times the Groom has acted like this, which basically everyone has their own drunken Groom angry at them story. My mates did then say to me that they know I’m close with both of them but they always felt they treated me like shit and I just put up with it. One of the boys said ‘”You’re their shoulder to cry on when they need you but you're also their punchbag when they want you to be”. I know, deep ha. But this did stick with me and I decided then to just be done with them. I knew I’d bring it up with them later but I didn’t want to talk about anything or bring this up with them while they’re celebrating their wedding and in the honeymoon phase. So we had two more days in Spain before we all went home and we just didn’t reply to them or meet up the rest of the trip. 

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One week later. Still no contact with Bride and Groom. I didn’t reach out, they didn’t either. As far as I knew they didn’t think there was a problem. Then I get a knock on my door and it’s the Bride’s mum. I wasn’t expecting her and she said she was just passing by and dropped by to see if everything was ok. I just told her yeah, work was just really busy while I was away and I’ve been swamped playing catch up. This was bullshit but I didn’t want to complain about the Bride to her mum and I also didn’t want to seem that I’m kicking off an argument between us when they just got married. Bride’s mum then said to me that she thought it was odd she didn’t see me around Bride and Groom after the wedding and just wanted to check if everything was ok. She told me she said the same thing to Bride and Groom and they said everything is fine but there was an issue with the taxis and Bride’s Mum and Dad were supposed to be in their taxi with them when they left after the wedding. Bride’s Mum then said “Nobody told us that was the plan. We just got in a taxi that was bringing us back”. So basically Bride’s mum unintentionally confirmed to me that this ‘plan’ of them all being together on the way home after the venue was bullshit. 

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About two months after the wedding, I get a text from the Bride. First contact since the wedding. She just said she hasn’t heard from me in a while and wanted to check in. At this point I felt it’s been enough time since the wedding, I’ll let them know why I’ve been keeping my distance. I tried to be as mature as possible. I just said ‘yeah I wanted to take some space. The Groom losing his shit at us was out of line. And no apology afterwards and trying to brush it under the rug was shitty’. Bride then sends me an essay about how they were frustrated too and were expecting an apology from me but they forgive me and want to put it behind us. I just told her ‘I don’t want to hash everything all out. You're missing a lot of information. This isn’t a situation where we were all in the wrong. I think we should just stay no contact’. I was just really pissed off that they thought I should apologise and also if we were in the wrong, why am I the only one getting messages from them? They never messaged Chris, Mark or Sarah and expected an apology from them. Also, why is Bride reaching out? I did want an apology from her too but the Groom kicked all this off and should be reaching out. No? The Bride then replied with an angry message that she’s the only one looking to fix things and she won’t be chasing me again. And I left it at that. 

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Latest update was about a week ago now. This is coming up to a year since the wedding and a few months of no contact from my last text messages with the Bride. I get a message from the Groom threatening to beat me up and put me in hospital if I keep talking shit about Bride (Which is hilarious. I’m a big boy, the Groom is tiny. If I sit on him he’s fucked ha). Now I get this message MONTHS after the wedding and my last messages with the Bride. We’ve all moved on from this story. Don’t know how it’s brought back up to them. I’m guessing through mutual friends. But I feel pretty much over it now (I guess not as much as I thought since I’m posting this on reddit now ha). Miss the friendship I thought we had but it’s done now. So I just blocked them everywhere and that’s it. 

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There might be an update down the line. Haven’t seen them in person since the wedding and we still have a lot of mutual friends although a lot of people have gone no/low contact with them from the wedding. Other shit went down with other people but I’m not involved with that and not my story to tell. I thought about putting this story up on reddit for a while but feel I already got validation with my friends that I didn’t do anything wrong so I guess I’m looking for strangers on the internet to tell me otherwise if I’m missing anything. Also, I’m annoyed the Bride and Groom are missing a lot of information on what really happened and don’t want to hear anything else in case that puts them in a bad light so I like the idea if it ever comes up with them again, I’d just send them this reddit post with the key information. But that sounds petty and I’d rather we just keep not speaking anymore.

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 Although I had to leave some more details out as this was getting way too long but kept the key information in. So reddit AITA? 

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