u/Due-Audience247

I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship that required me to get a protection order, and I was desperate for a roommate. My friend, Victoria (25F), was looking for somewhere to live, so I had her added to my lease to replace my ex.
When she first moved in, things were great. She had two jobs, which made me feel confident that she would be able to contribute to rent and household expenses. She also told me she would help keep the apartment clean.
Unfortunately, we hadn’t even been living together for three months before I started regretting the decision. There are several reasons why.
1. She lost her jobs almost immediately and still hasn’t found another one.
She lost both of her jobs within the first month of moving in and has yet to find another. I understand that losing a job can happen, and I don’t expect her to magically find one overnight. What frustrates me is that despite not having an income, she continues spending money and has increasingly relied on me to cover expenses when she comes up short.
Last month she was a little short on rent, so I covered the difference. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I’m worried that it set the expectation that I’ll cover her whenever she can’t.
This month, she has already told me she will be short again—except this time, it isn’t by a small amount. She’ll be short by more than half of her portion of the rent.
Our rent is paid as a household, so if she doesn’t pay her share, it doesn’t just affect her. I am legally responsible for making sure the full rent gets paid too, meaning I would have to cover the difference to keep myself from being put in a bad situation.
I didn’t budget for that.
2. She barely cleans, and I constantly have to clean up after her.
I work a lot, so when I’m home, I don’t want to spend my limited free time cleaning up after another adult.
She regularly leaves laundry and craft supplies all over the living room for days at a time. She cooks frequently, which is completely fine, but she leaves the dishes in the sink afterward. At one point, she left dishes sitting there for over a week.
The sink is usually completely full.
I actually started using paper plates and mostly eating frozen meals because I wanted to see how much of the mess was coming from me versus her. Even without me contributing much to the dishes, the sink still constantly fills up.
Her dog also sheds like crazy, so I’m sometimes vacuuming once or twice a day. On top of that, the trash fills up incredibly quickly—sometimes within an afternoon—and I’m almost always the one taking it out.
She might clean once or twice a month, but that’s about it.
3. She regularly leaves her dog with me without actually asking.
She frequently drives her gas-guzzling car to her boyfriend’s house, sometimes for entire weekends. I work Monday through Friday, so my weekends are basically the only time I have to myself.
Instead of asking whether I’m willing to watch her dog, she often just tells me she’s leaving.
Recently, she left him with me for around 10 days straight. She said she would pay me for taking care of him, but because she doesn’t have a job, I never actually saw any money.
Meanwhile, I’m the one letting him out, taking him for walks, dealing with him using the bathroom on the carpet, and listening to him howl during the night because he’s hungry.
I don’t have a problem helping a friend occasionally. But this has become an expectation rather than a favor.
4. I feel like I’m becoming her financial safety net.
This is probably the part that bothers me the most.
She doesn’t currently have a job, yet she still spends money on things that aren’t necessities and then tells me she’s going to be short on bills.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m responsible for making sure she can afford her life.
I only charge her $500 a month for rent, so I don’t feel like I’m asking an unreasonable amount from her. I’ve tried to be understanding and help when she needs it, but at this point it feels like my willingness to help has turned into an expectation that I’ll keep doing it.
5. I feel like I’m being put in an impossible position regarding her relationship.
She is engaged, and there are things she does that I personally believe cross boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed in a relationship.
And to be completely honest, she has cheated on her fiancé multiple times. It wasn’t a one-time mistake. She has cheated with several people, including coworkers. One of those situations actually contributed to her losing her job because one of the men found out she was cheating and the situation blew up at work.
I know this makes me sound like an awful friend for keeping things from her fiancé, and that’s part of why I feel so conflicted. I don’t like being put in the position of knowing things that I believe her fiancé would want to know while also feeling like telling him could make my living situation significantly worse.
I don’t want to be responsible for covering for her, but I also don’t feel like I can blow up my housing situation while I’m still legally tied to her.
6. Even my boyfriend has noticed how unhealthy our friendship has become.
My boyfriend has told me that he thinks the relationship between Victoria and me is toxic, particularly because he feels like she is taking advantage of me more than I realize.
At first I didn’t really want to hear that because I’ve known her since middle school and I kept thinking that maybe I was being too harsh or impatient.
But I’ve started noticing it myself.
Recently, she was gone for a while, and honestly, I felt more at peace while she was gone.
Even though I was still stuck taking care of her dog, I was able to keep the apartment clean the entire time. I didn’t have dishes piling up that weren’t mine, laundry and craft supplies weren’t covering the living room, I wasn’t constantly vacuuming up dog hair, and I didn’t have to worry about whether I was going to come home to another mess.
I realized that I was actually less stressed being responsible for her dog by myself than I am living with her.
That realization really bothered me.
7. I’m also her maid of honor.
This is another reason I feel like such an asshole for even considering cutting her off.
I’m supposed to be her maid of honor at her wedding, and we’ve been friends since middle school. I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to ruin her wedding.
But at the same time, I’m realizing that being someone’s maid of honor doesn’t mean I have to continue being their friend forever.
Our lease ends around the same time as her wedding, which is why I’ve decided that I’m going to wait until we’re no longer financially and legally tied to each other before ending the friendship.
At this point, I don’t really feel like a friend or roommate. I feel like a safety net.
She barely talks to me anymore because she’s either sleeping or on the phone with her fiancé. Yet when she needs something—money, help with her dog, cleaning, etc.—I’m expected to be there.
And the worst part is that I feel trapped.
If I don’t watch her dog, he suffers and I have to deal with the consequences in my own home.
If I refuse to cover her rent, I still have to worry about the full rent because we’re both on the lease.
If I don’t clean, I have to live in the mess.
If I stop keeping her secrets, I worry that my living situation will become hostile.
I went over my lease with a fine-tooth comb, and I can’t afford to break it. She also wouldn’t agree to sign me off the lease because she doesn’t qualify for the apartment on her own. I can’t afford to move somewhere else while continuing to pay rent here either.
So I’ve ultimately decided that I’m going to make it through the lease and then end the friendship.
I know we’ve been friends since middle school. We’ve also had falling-outs in the past over similar issues, and I know I was probably stupid for believing she had changed.
But I’m starting to realize that I don’t actually feel happier, safer, or more at peace maintaining this friendship.
AITA for planning to cut off my friend once our lease ends, even though I’m her maid of honor and the timing will coincide with her wedding?

Edit: i have talked to the landlord and her about other options to getting her out sooner than may and unfortunately the soonest she would be able to move out is may. Im not really looking for advice just whether or not id be the a-hole.