(29F) I moved to a new country alone, got serious about dating, and met my fiancé within 10 days
I feel like this is a story I need to share because a year ago I was in a completely different place.
When I was 28, I felt really lonely. I had moved to a new country, and my life was basically work, going home alone, and scrolling TikTok or Instagram every evening. At some point I thought, there has to be more to life than this.
So I decided to get intentional about dating instead of just hoping I would randomly meet someone.
I started reading a lot of dating books. Honestly, they helped me more than I expected. One of the things they suggested was to be very clear about what you're looking for and choose platforms accordingly.
I'm Indian and wanted to date Indian men, so even though I was looking to date rather than immediately get married, I signed up for Shaadi and other marriage-focused apps. My logic was simple: people there are generally serious about relationships and commitment.
Once I started matching, I filtered fast. That was another thing I learned from the books. If something important didn't align, I didn't try to convince myself otherwise.
I ended up talking to around 25–30 men in total. Then, within about 10 days, I met one guy I genuinely loved talking to. I remember thinking, this could actually be a really good match.
We talked for a month before meeting. After about 1.5 months of dating, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Six months later, we got engaged. We've now been together for over a year, and we're getting married in four months.
Looking back, the biggest lesson for me wasn't luck. It was having clear standards and filters before I started dating.
For example, I wanted someone active because fitness is important to me (yes, I even wanted someone who enjoys running 😄). But much more importantly, I cared about personality, emotional maturity, kindness, reliability, and shared values.
I also spent a lot of time learning about relationships. I read books about dating, male psychology, communication, and long-term compatibility. I asked ChatGPT a million questions whenever I was confused about something in dating. The more I learned, the more I realized that many things people assume men want aren't actually true, and understanding the opposite sex better helped me date much more effectively.
My takeaway for women is this:
Be very clear about what you want, filter hard, and don't be afraid to walk away from people who aren't a fit.
A lot of people think having strict standards will reduce your chances of finding someone. In my experience, it did the opposite. It helped me find the right person much faster.
And for anyone feeling lonely in a new city or a new country like I was: things can change surprisingly quickly when you get intentional about what you're looking for.