AITA possible cheater
AITA:
A little background information my partner and Is relationship isnt always the healthiest and we are both aware and making better efforts to fix it. About a year ago my partner cheated or attempted to cheat (I am unsure some of the messages were missing by this point and they will only ever tell a truth if there’s no other alternative) I found some of the messages a few months after it had happened. They assured me that they didn’t and basically blamed it on me saying we were in a rough patch and I want meeting his needs etc.(going back through old messages and home security I can say that the couple months this was happening was actual a really good point in our relationship) To me based on the messages I don’t think it was that at all. They started messaging just days after I started a new job after us both being out of work for over a month, so it feels like they just finally had the opportunity. Anyways I’ve been trying to forget and move on but last night the messages popped up in photo memories. I reread them and the dates and times started to get to me so I went back in my messages and saw that during most of the times they were messaging and planning on meeting up they were at the gym or door dashing. The problem is my partner never goes to the gym and is pretty judgmental about people who do. My other problem is that they started messaging about hooking up one day while I was at work and then less than 30 minutes later they messaged me asking to go to the gym after work and didn’t get home that night until 11, they had left at 6 or 6:30. At the time, I don’t think anything of it because we do have children and I had just started a new job so I was just happy they were out of a depression point from losing their job and going out to do things for themselves. Now it’s year later I try not to think about it but it creeps up a few times a week especially since recently they started putting extra security measures on everything and putting their brightness down whenever I’m around. I have been fairly unhappy for years now and it’s no secret but like I said we have children and anytime I mention the possibility of breaking up it’s turns into an adult tantrum and I stay time after time. We never discussed the incident more than the blaming me and then saying they didnt want to talk about it anymore that day and anytime I tried to discuss it afterwards. Im still struggling with it and would like to talk about it or get more clarity but now I fear it’s been too long. So long story short I guess I’m trying to ask AITA for not getting over it and moving on. Would I be the asshole if I brought it up again after all this time has passed?