Would I a (26M) look so ungrateful and shallow if I try to find out what really happened with my life?
​
Hello to everyone, I am genuinely looking for an advice right now or atleast some clarity because today I just found out I was adopted (which is not really a big deal) but the thing that shocked me the most is that I found out I have three other biological siblings that are adopted from different families as well.
For context ever since I was a kid my oldest half brother let's call him JM(were 34 years apart not related by blood) from my Mama's side (my current siblings both half and not are eleven including me, her first children were four brothers an her second children were seven \*three sisters\* including me the youngest but I guess I'm not really blood relates to any of them) always kept bullying and harassing me and making me feel like being adopted is the worse thing possible that ever happened to me. So even when I was only a 4 years old I clearly remember each and every hurtful words he said to me, even though I experienced something like that my Mama and Papa (my parents who adopted and raised me) ncluding my Two Sisters who treated me like their own child never made me feel any less of a family so I had a hunch back then but still clueless of the fact.
However, just today my current boss at work (she's my godmother) accidentally slipped that I was adopted at the local hospital near us that's when I started asking questions about it, my sister only laughed at me and didn't really answer but my Mama when I asked her she tried to dodge it at first like saying "does it really matter whether related by blood or not?" I kept pushing then that's when I found out everything. Now the thing is founding out the fact that I'm adopted isn't really a big deal, what really made me sad and hollow inside was founding out that I have three biological siblings whom I will never probably meet ever unless I try to get all the information about my adoption.
WIBTAH and look so ungrateful if I try to dig out what really happened to them? Because all I know are informations that aren't really helpful about finding them like the eldest got adopted by the head nurse which then hook him/her to America, the second got adopted by a doctor, the third well my family doesn't really know what happened to him/her and there's me. My Mama said my biological father was dead already and JM knew him and I really don't know anything about my biological mom except she's alive but not really interested about her side of story. I just became curious of where are my biological siblings now.
PS. I know it sounds made up, and I won't even believe it myself but this is really my life and I really need an advice or tips anything that will help me atleast cope up with the fact that I won't ever meet my bio-siblings unless I dig about the informations regarding my birth and as well as theirs (even though I won't be able to get their files cuz it's in the law I can still see mine and that would be a start) but it worries me that if I do that that would make me look like someone so ungrateful to my current family so what should I do?