I am a 17yr in a relationship with a 20yr old, my current foster carer does not approve of it, my foster carer and whole social system is fucked.

I am going to run off to my mum's house in Wales away from socials until I turn 18, but my boyfriend I have to leave behind, but what makes this different is how much it will hurt him, he says he can't do a long distance relationship and he is depressed relying on me for emotional support, he often talks about being suicidal before we met and is bringing it up again.

I started going crazy, not thinking and telling him stuff I should not have said like how I wish someone would abuse me and how I wish he could hate me and maybe I am acting like this to get him to hate me?

All my life has been unstable, but never have I cared for someone so much and am so worried about them, I am getting dizzy and teared up writing this, I fucking hate myself, I could stay here or finally get some stability.

I am worried how this will affect him, he does not always be truthful and maybe now I am hurting him more by doing this.

I am scared and need advice, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

me [17M] and [20M], I lied about my age

I am in the UK where the age of consent is 16, so there is no legal trouble.

I met this guy online and I had put I was 18 in my profile to fit in with the online social base I was on. I did not expect for any sort of relationship or that I would meet anyone. Anyways me and this guy got on very well, and he started asking if we could meet as we are in the same area, at first I thought that one meet up would not hurt, but we on that day started very quickly falling for each other, however this was not expected and he thought I was 18, this should have been the time I admitted I was 17 but I did not as I was scared of how he would react.

I feel so guilty, so I tried ghosting him to make things easy and so that he would not be hurt but he seemed so lonely and emotionally dependent on me, he often would say how he is struggling with his mental health and would continue to text me everyday for 2 weeks and I had not responded, I hate when he says he "needs me" or "that he would be in a bad place if I was not there", let alone with me lying being seriously unhealthy, I would also say the fact he would not know what to do without me is really unhealthy.

I have no idea what to do, I feel guilty and just don't want to upset him, we have been in this relationship coming 3 months now, he knows where I live which scares me as he could do anything, I feel scared of the consequences but also both guilty that I would upset him.

I have autism and very bad anxiety, my plan at the moment is when I turn 18 (in 5 months) I will move out and continue my education and slowly detach from my boyfriend to make sure he does not get upset, I am confused and hate what I have done, what do you think I should do with this situation? The fact I actually have feelings for him makes it worse.