Lots of resentment towards my dad
Hi everyone! I have not been officially diagnosed as I am waiting for my GI appointment and my endoscopy but my doctor feels pretty confident that me results being over the 250 threshold on their testing parameters that there is a good chance I have celiac. I am 27, this was a MAJOR shock to me as it wasnt even on my radar.
Now, here is the thing: My dad has it and didnt tell me or my mom. They are divorced so obviously he doesn't owe it to her but she was also the only parent taking me to doctor's appointments. I had repeated gut issues that got dismissed because they were always very mild and were frequently dismissed as PMS or Puberty related. Looking back more and more, I strongly feel I have been dealing with this most of my life, based on when my symptoms started which is as long as I can remember. I am now at a point where I feel anger at my dad for not saying something so I could have been tested sooner and that I wouldnt have gaslighted myself into thinking all of my symptoms were just how my body worked because doctors could never find something inherently wrong. I remembered being told he had a gluten intolerance, and never considered it was anything more as he never specified that it was anything more...until I got my test results back and I reached out to ask and sure enough, he has full blown CD not just a minor gluten intolerance that makes him a little gassy, like he tried to play off all my life.
I got diagnosed with ADHD this last year and had the anxiety, depression and PMDD diagnoses for the last decade, no medications have made more than a dent with those and I had resigned to the fact that I may just have to cope with these difficulties for the rest of my life, basically raw dogging it because there was never a pill concoction that worked and never enough trauma for therapy to resolve. Plus I knew exactly what my issues were and therapists don't bode well with someone who can see what their own issues are but just dont know why they wont go away even with coping techniques and medication management.
I have had 2 miscarriages in the last year - or at least the ones I knew about, we never prevented and never tracked and thats been the case for years, so it's likely we have had more. I have lots of mixed feelings of hope that this was our answer this whole time and lots of anger at the thought that so much have this could have been prevented if he had just told me or my mom.
Anyone get diagnosed in a similar fashion? I just dont know how to cope with this anger that he may have altered my health for the rest of my life by not saying a word. What would he gain from not saying anything? This really just solidifies my desire to have nothing to do with him, he never cared about us, just what we could offer.
Anyway, rant over, thanks for listening ❤️