u/D0styo

So I have had this friend group for about 2 years now. We used to play games and go out almost every day. My girlfriend of 3 years is in this friend group but she is now my ex after she cheated on me. I’m still friends with her and I help her out since I’ve seen real change in her or thought I did at least. I didn’t tell anyone about the split as I wanted it to be a quiet one so people didn’t try to hold anything against her.

Ever since we split, the friend group has felt different. The friend that she’s most close with in the group (Amy not real name) one day joined a party with me and another friend I was close with and didn’t acknowledge me. She said she doesn’t feel like playing the game we all usually play together but rather the one game I specifically don’t like playing and left into another party. My friend left the party we were in and I just sat there for a while but eventually just got off.

For the next few months this kept happening not in the exact way but it was obvious they were all playing together. Sometimes I would play with my friend but what went from a few times a week dropped to once a week. Yesterday though, we all finally went out together again for a celebration. They all drove in one car while I drove in my own. They were all cordial at first and we were cracking jokes and having a good time. But then at the table my ex and Amy sat on their phones the whole time while me and my friend chatted. I waited for a moment to bring them into the conversation but they didn’t really take their eyes off their phone at all and when it came to leave Amy rushed us all out of the restaurant.

I know Amy has been going through a really tough time at home and part of her on her phone was trying to sort through some of that but halfway through she ended up talking to some of her and my exes other friends. (I knew this because they said it out loud) When we got home (me and my ex still live together because she doesn’t have anywhere to go right now) but I explained to her my frustrations and she brushed it off pretty much saying how it was only a few minutes that Amy was talking to their other friends and how she just had nothing to add. Though a few times I went to bring them into the conversation but every time I looked at them they were buried in their phones.

And all I feel is that I constantly get these moments. I bring it up and it’s brushed off they blame it on their mental health issues and that they’re “in bad spots right now.” Which I try to have grace and patience for but it keeps happening. It makes me feel that I’m essentially an outcast of the group in which no one has the chutzpah to tell me straight. And I’m getting tired of this back and forth. I truly hope that I’m wrong but these patterns keep repeating. There’s more to say but I’ll leave it here. Am I over reacting?