u/D4RK4481

Once my quiet friend said:

"Yo man, I know what u going through.. it's a girl ain't it?

Lemme tell u how I see it..

She's a 10 but..

She's talkin' to 9 other guys.

8 of which she's just messaging, 'cause she's bored and wants to watch time pass by...

And that's y she doesn't answer to your 7 missed calls. Because to her,

6 is already too many.

But if the list isn't long enough yet,

Just know, that she doesn't talk to 5'4 ft guys...

And even if she likes u..

She will stop replying after 3 messages.

But this time not 'cause she's bored... but because she's not used to ppl caring that much as you.

And deep down, u alr know that it'll never end up just you 2...

U'll blame urself, that u aren't enough, or that she can learn how to love u...

But at the end of the day, it's not 'cause she's flirting with others...

But it's because she doesn't know how to tell you that...

You...

Weren't the 1..."

And it hit me hard...

That hard, that I've lost all my words, tears came to my eyes and I knew he told the truth.

I couldn't stop thinking about what he has said.. and about her.

Few days after, I have texted her with words :

"So, I have texted u back immediately, whenever I got text from u...

I have removed every girl from my socials and basically life...

You always had my location and number, but phone never rang.

I have stayed up late so many nights, just to make sure you're okay...

I have treated u like my queen..

I gave u space and time to not stress u out..

But now I see.

And... please bare in mind, that I'm not anyones plan B. When I feel not appreciated, I'm loosing interest very fast.

I still will fight for you.. even if I'm tired.

But I won't fight over u, if someone else has ur attention."

She left me on read...

"Now I'm depressed...

I'm tired of waking up every mornin' and wishing, that I didn't.

Yh, I know I got ppl that love and care about me.. but yet I still feel empty and alone.

I know that I don't look depressed in my mesaages, calls, social media or anything else...

But deep down inside... I'm hurting... like... I have a lot of pain inside, that I can't even explain.

I can't tell u what's wrong.. I can't explain u either...

Just 'cause, Idk what's wrong.

It's just... pain...

Nonstop thinking about one song...

'Roses are Dead, Violets are Dyin'..

Outside I'm smiling, But inside I'm cryin'

Time passes by.. I had bad times, posted few stories on socials.

Shortly after I got call.. from another friend.

"Wassup man ? Everything okay?

\-yeah, no, idk.. why?

Look man, if nobody told u today.. I love you... I do, with all my heart bro. And I'm proud of you.. I'm so proud of you. You made it through today... Yk, sometimes it's hard to look forward to somethin', when you feel down like this...

But when u get to this point of the day, and u look back on what have you went through.. damn man, u're strong.

You got tmrrw to look forward to, 'cause every day it gets better.. trust me.

Yk, I always say, that someday I'll feel better.. someday I'll be aight... it might sound like a bullshit.

But you gotta remember, that someday comes one day at a time, and you'll get there.. you will get there I promise. I'm very proud of u man, just don't give up. "

\*hangs the phone\*

After this, I have broke down to knees.. crying like a kid.

Couldn't help myself... I had to think about her.

Tried to call her, text her.. but nothing worked out. She just... removed me from her life.

Days are getting harder, nights nightmares. I'm being more and more tired. Tired of fightin' every single day...

Last text before I have gave up and broke down:

"Hey! Well uh, I miss you..

I really do.

I have stopped chasing my dreams..

I need and want you.

If I have done something wrong, forgive me please.

I... just wanted to say, that I love you.

"Goodbye"

I have felt terribly. Lost taste for everything. Laid on my bed, staring at top. Thinking about ending this torture for good.

I had great times.. those memories on them flashed in my eyes.

Then it everything gone...

Went into gray darkness.

Darkness of pain and depression.

Life got tough. I was getting weaker and weaker. Just empty shell walking on this planet. It wasn't that happy guy as he used to be. So cheerful and helpful.

Now he was just broken and empty. There was no help for me. I was lost and tired of life.

Decided to free myself one night.

Came to a bridge on the roadside..

Sat down there and tried to write.

" I feel sorry to end it like this. There was nothing to hold me there anymore. I'm too tired to lead this war. I have lost. But please don't cry.

I will be there, watching all of u from above, whenever u will think about me. Keep fighting there, my family.

Thank y'all for rollercoaster ride... but now it's time to wave goodbye."

As I was falling down.. I was thinking about my closest ones, hoping for finally walking peaceful path....