r/sadstories

I don’t even know if this counts as a breakup because technically, we were never really together.

For almost 4 years, this man was my best friend. We talked almost every day, shared everything, stayed through difficult moments, and became emotionally attached in a way that honestly blurred every line possible. We called each other “bffs,” but deep down I think both of us knew it stopped being just friendship a long time ago.

The problem was… it never fully became anything either.

There were feelings, affection, emotional intimacy, jealousy, mixed signals, late-night conversations, and moments that felt too deep to just be platonic. We became physically intimate too, which only made the attachment stronger and the boundaries even more confusing. It felt like we were emotionally and physically committed to each other without ever truly defining what we were.

And somehow, that kind of connection can hurt more because you keep holding onto the possibility that maybe one day it’ll finally become real.

But there was also inconsistency, uncertainty, and this constant feeling that we were stuck in between friendship and something more.

Recently, we finally had closure. He admitted things honestly, and for the first time I realized that continuing this connection was hurting me more than helping me.

The painful part is that he wanted to stay in my life. He wanted us to remain close. But I realized I couldn’t do it anymore because I loved him too much to peacefully watch him eventually love or choose someone else.

I couldn’t keep pretending I was okay with “just friendship” when my feelings clearly went beyond that. I think staying would’ve slowly destroyed me emotionally.

So I left.

And now I feel like I lost both a potential lover and my best friend at the same time.

That’s the part nobody talks about enough. Sometimes the grief isn’t just romantic heartbreak — it’s mourning the person who used to feel like home to you.

Part of me wishes we never crossed the line emotionally and physically because maybe we could’ve preserved the friendship. But another part of me knows that after years of unresolved feelings, intimacy, and emotional dependency, there was no real way to go back to being “just friends.”

I know leaving was the right decision for my peace, but it still hurts so much.

Has anyone else gone through this? Losing your best friend because the relationship became too emotionally complicated to survive?

I was consumed by my own thoughts and grief of losing every support system in my life at the age of 20. I spoke up about something wrong that happened to me and it backfired on me, I was made to be the one at fault and it killed me that I had no one on my side. I picked up and left, ignored everyone for 4 months, every message, every call, every plead. You messaged me and I replied, I thought it’d get you off my back. “When are you coming to see me? I want to show you my new car”. Soon I said. I had no intention of coming back. You called me and I ignored it. Exactly one week later my brother told me you had passed away, in your new car, a crash. I didn’t ignore it. I booked the first train I could to come back, a 5 hour journey, just to be in the same city as your body. We weren’t even allowed to see you until a week later but I found a sense of horrid relief knowing I was closer to you. Or was it my last attempt at redemption. I stayed and endured the worst pain of my life just so I knew I could say my goodbyes, to see you one last time. I know we weren’t blood related, but our bond was one of an older sister and a younger brother. You gave me a sense of purpose and I hoped I’d be someone to lean on. Except I failed in the last week of your life. I keep thinking about how you must’ve wanted to talk to me, wanted a reassurance and a sense that I was proud of you. I was too caught up in my own head to give you what you needed and I’m so sorry. I’ll live with the regret my whole life.

So I ran away from home yesterday at around 3 am, returned at about 4:30 am. (by myself)

Here`s the story and also rant.

It began like every other night, my parents where in the living room watching tv at a somewhat high volume. And I cant sleep obvi cuz of that, as neither have my own room, nor a door between the living room and my bed. So it can get really annoying.

And here`s is some info about me: im pretty annoyed by loud things. And by people arguing. Chances are, it`s cuz of them. So usually, I just sit in my bed and try to sleep. And I hate every minute of it. And the anger builds up with each night. I am too nervous to go up to them and tell "can yall pls turn that shit off?", as half the time I ask for that, they take pride in their shit and ignore me.

so I got so annoyed that I just decided to shut 1 doors that is between both our rooms (which we never close, cuz idk). And I did it too hardly, and my fucking father complained. I was just dead tired and wanted to sleep, so I said if we could pls skip this discussion and if I could just go to bed. He yelled at me for being "so depressive". I just siad in an annoyed voice how I wanna sleep and just shut the door. Then he yelled SO LOUDLY, that I grabbed the plant on the side of the room and as I let it go, it ruined its balance and the vase dropped and broke.

He yelled like the mf that he is and I was so shit scarred that I just locked myself in the guest bathroom. And they the started to knock for every 30 mins and yell horrible stuff, trying to get me to sleep in my normal bed (note they didnt wanna beat me, just to get me outta the bath (for some reason)). And with each knock, I got more scarred and scarred. At 2:50 my brother left is room cuz he needed to work early, and he knocked REALLY REALLY hard on that damn door. Note, the bath was less than 1 square meter and each and every sound was louder than normal.

And then I broke. I offered and said a sentence after 3h "if yall take your distance, I`ll get out" so they did.

And I took the chance, the house was too loud for me, I couldnt take it anymore, I actively wanted to punch those people or myself if I had been longer in there. I took the chance and escaped. I quickly put on my jacket and some random shoes without socks, and I ran away.

My mother noticed, what I was trying to do and was blocking the door. Didnt stop me, I just gently pushed her aside and went away, whilst crying.

3:00 am and my original plan was just going for a 10 min walk, but as I kept thinkin about it and they kept on calling me by phone, I went farther and farther into the city center. I live in a very safe, walkable city, and im male. so I didnt need to worry that any dangerous stuff. At least I believe that. At the very least the streets were safer than anything.

Some people say you need some kind of copium for when you`re so scarred and angry, well mine is either isolation and my phone (the bathroom) or going outside, going for a walk. The beauty of my city just calms me. Even if it is scary, almost liminal being outside with no other people, once I reached the harbour, I just wanted to stay there. Then I reached the center

This is what I wrote then at 3:40 - 4:10 :

https://www.reddit.com/r/needadvice/comments/1tdi8n5/i_ran_away_from_home_need_help_asap/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1tdi7cv/i_just_ran_away_from_home_need_help_asap/

I knew I couldnt stay there, I needed external advice and reddit really was my best option.

Mostly I just wanted to hear some encouragement to go back. Comments, on how people also had something similar to this in their teens, on how my parents worry sick about me. They dont I assume. Well, yeah they do. Cuz they dont wanna go to the police. They dont wanna get in trouble.

Im from pakistan and in similar third world countries, children are only made to be used as tools. They dont love me, they wanna profit from me.

Whilst I was on my walk, my father also kept texting and calling me, at some point even my brother started to call me. I always either declined or just ignored. I wrote to my father also some shit about "Pls just lemme out for a few h and go back to sleep" as kind as I could. At some point they even went out to look for me, but I have better cardio and endurance than them and got farther than them. Suffice to say, the walk did calm me down, and it brought me to tears almost 5 times, mainly cuz of reddit comments trying to tell me that my parents love me, which they probably dont.

The outside world (or isolated online world when I game) is so much better than my home, everything is quite, no one is wanting something from me. That is another BIG sidepoint: people always wanna control me for some fucking reason. My father is annoyed when I... do literally anything, Mother wants me to pray, and I have had an older brother who kept complaining about me being unmotivated at times. I broke contact with him, but I cant with my parents, I rely on them. (My middle brother is chill. Well, yesterday he wasnt with the knocking)

What I want is just some privacy: I want my own room with a lockable door, and times where my parents dont storm in while im doing stuff (mostly gaming, sometimes other stuff). And I want them to stop caring so much if they cant even control themselves in the first fucking place.

I also have noticed an immense build-up of fear from the last night, and that of anger from the last month. I constantly wanna destroy and punch things to calm down if im angry (the walked helped cuz I was scarred rather than angry). It`s the only time, they actually seem to understand and care about me. Works even better when I threaten to hit myself really hard. Self harm is something i`ve started doing last month, about every other week when my mother specifically would get on my nerves. She only listens when I start getting physical. Luckily enough, I was taught in martial arts class to never hit other people (thats how I was in able to "gently push aside" my mum with minimal force and without hurting her, and how I learned to punch things).

Since yesterday, I have not talked to my father or brother. They all seemed to ignore what I did. No speech about "here`s why you suck", also no "pls we like you, dont die". My father never said smt along the lines of "I like you" ever, so if he`s not angry, I guess he just says nothing.

What do I do chat? My older brother I already had to abandon, and now again? Is he SO angry at me, that he just stops talking to me? What do I do now? As of now, the only person positively supporting me is reddit for fucks sake. So thanks yall first of all. Thanks for reading THAT MUCH text. And pls send advice. I don know what to doooo. Today I just lied in my bed the whole day. I fear that they`ll judge me for doing literally anything else. For gaming, for trying to sharpen knifes, for drawing. I doubt they even wanna see me.

I am soo scarred while also being so angry, and I have no ways of escaping either feeling. My martial arts class dont work for me, when im there, I dont relate the fighting to violence and I cant let out my anger by just throwing people (I do judo). When im there, the kindness of the folk overwhelms me so much, that I forget about all the abuse and anger that I only feel when returning home. Those classes are a distraction and nothing else, maybe an healthy distraction, but I still feel so angry. I just wanna tell them how much they suck but I know, my shy ass cant shout louder than them so im forced to sit here on a friday evening and write ts.

TL:DR im scarred and angry at my family. I ran away to escape the loud stuff at home and they dont support me in any way, even after returning.

Hi everyone I'm Nariman 41/M from Iran. My country is involving in an unwanted war! A war that has nothing to do with me (I love people all around the world) but I'm the victim of it! I'm unemployed, depressed and helpless and to make matters even worse, I'm extremely lonely and have no one to talk to. This puts me under extreme mental pressure which I can't handle! I'm jealous of people who live in peace and happiness in other countries! I wish I could have a normal life (just a normal life like others). I'm tired of this cruel world! Some are born with luck and some aren't! I feel so miserable! I pity myself! Why should I end up like this? I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this! I wish I just had a text friend. Someone I could talk to for a few minutes per day or per week. Maybe that could make me feel a little better. I don't want people to pity me! I just want to be heard, to be understood!

I’m looking for advice on how to move on from losing this person.

It during November 2023.
I met this girl on Instagram. (19 Female)
She discovered a band page of mine full of videos of me and my cousin playing a bunch of KISS songs etc on that page and she was a huge fan of Kiss.
She followed it. I then DM’d that person.
I introduced myself and we talked about Kiss songs and other kinds of music etc.
We then started video chatting each other on instagram.

We became closest of friends.
She happened to be the greatest friend I’ve ever had.
She loved my music, she loved my singing.

We then texted and video chatted each other every day for almost a year.
Until around December, she flew out of the country to visit her family to grieve her dead dog.
I stopped hearing from her for a several weeks.
She stopped answering my texts.
I started worrying about her.
I then made the stupidest mistake I ever made.

I messaged her mother on Facebook, introducing myself to her, letting her know I’m close friends with her daughter.
And that was when I destroyed the friendship altogether without realizing it.

I didn’t know it was a red flag to contact their family member. I didn’t know any better.

That was when she stopped answering my texts and calls altogether.
She wanted nothing to do with me because of one mistake I didn’t know I made.

I tried calling her off and on until until one day her mother contacts me on messenger telling me to back off and leave her alone.

That was when I realized I screwed up bad.

Two years have passed. She still wants nothing to do me.

I even met other girls after her just to try and move on from her.

But none of them were even close to her or couldn’t help get my mind off her at all.

No matter how much time I take to heal, it just comes back to haunt me.

I just want her to be friends with me again and trust that I’ll do better. And I will.

I don’t know how to recover from this.

Any advice?

TL;DR

Comment below

For me, when I was in elementary school my friend got hit by a car and died 😞

I never thought money could make people who love each other feel like strangers.

Growing up, we were not rich, but we were close. We used to eat together, laugh together, support each other during hard times. Now every conversation somehow turns into money, responsibilities, comparisons, or who is “doing better” in life.

If one person earns more, ego enters.

If one person struggles, respect disappears.

Relatives compare salaries like it’s a competition. Parents silently carry stress. Siblings stop sharing things openly. Small expenses become arguments. Even festivals don’t feel peaceful anymore.

Sometimes I feel like nobody is actually angry at each other… everyone is just tired, financially stressed, and emotionally frustrated.

The worst part is how money issues slowly destroy emotional connection without anyone noticing. People stop understanding each other and start calculating each other.

I miss when family felt like comfort instead of pressure.

Does anyone else feel this happening in their family too?