u/DIY_euthanasia

i've been regularly making myself throw up since september (and less frequently before that), and i always figured it wasn't much of an issue cuz i didn't do it all the time and i don't feel like i compare much to people with actually Eating Disorders. like, i'm fine. i have a handle on it. but recently i've been really miserable about it, recognizing how it could kill me, and promising that i'll stop... but then i do it again the very next week. i thought i'd be able to stop if i wanted to but i just keep ending up in the same position. i know i would be better off in every way if i could just stop. but i really don't know what to do. and i refuse to talk to anyone about it. even just posting this feels crazy. the act of purging is so taxing, i keep expecting someone to just notice and confront me, but they don't. i think i'd freak out if anyone found out