r/eating_disorders

Hi guys! I have been a long time food 🤮 after feeling too full/not “liking” (not sure what word best describes the feeling but this is as close as I can come up with lol) what I ate, etc. My husband doesn’t know the full extent of this but still swears up and down I have a disorder. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to expel your food if you’re too full or feel like it wasn’t worth it. Am I wrong??? Do I have a problem? It’s been years and I’m no where near skinny so I don’t feel like I do. Idk sorry lol

EDIT: I just had oral surgery and even though I’m restricted to liquid only diet I’m struggling to not use the toilet immediately after “eating” :/

I (17M) have a girlfriend (16F) and we have been together for almost three months. We both have been through a lot. However, my girlfriend has this one major problem and it is her health. Apparently she thinks she is fat eventhough she is 5 foot 5 and is around 58kg. Her main goal is to be around 50-55 which I think is reasonable however I personally think she looks perfect. She is not even that fat. in fact she looks more skinnier than fat. Maybe it is because of her parents. Her dad is white, her mom is mixed and her younger 13 year old sister is white, however she is mixed. She gets treated differently in her family because of her skin colour and her dad would often make racist remarks towards her everyday. They dont even call her by her real name. In fact, this has been so bad that she has been avoiding eating since her parents kept calling her "fat" eventhough she looks nothing like it. I would say because of her abusive household she struggles to eat since she is completely damaged psychologically. She keeps complaining to me constantly about her problems and I have been there for her for as long as I could however I am just completely worried about her. It seems like she has anorexia or something and now a bone next to her stomach is slightly sticking out due to her lack of food intake. All she eats in a day is a small packet of noodles and 1 sandwich. That is literally it. Is there anything I could suggest to her?

i (19f) have been struggling with anorexia for around 2-3 years, with ups and downs of course but it never fully went away and it just kept getting worse and worse. some months ago i reached a bmi under 18.5 (underweight) and now i am visiting my parents for the holidays (i always try to hide my ed, so i usually eat one meal with them and then find excuses for the rest), i don’t know what is happening to me but these past few days i have been eating everything in sight even when im full i just can’t stop. i feel so disgusting and bloated i dont know what is wrong with me. i had recovery in mind but this is the complete opposite, its killing me i feel so horrible that ive completely forgotten about the recovery part and i feel like i never want to eat again but its so hard to stop.

Why does nobody talk about how hard it is to save money when you have an ED

Should I just starve myself for weightloss? I really am not able to do any exercises I'm exhausted and I cannot handle my parents body shaming anymore, I will at least lose weight and they will be at peace. What are your suggestions? I really need to talk.

in recovery I am eating average of 6k calories and it i have gained 10kg. i’m eating so much and resting more then ever. everyone around me has noticed how much weight i have gained. I eat so many desserts that im starting to question if i have BED and why cant i bring myself to show my face at the gym anymore.

how can one really recover? i feel like i have to, mainly for academic purposes as i am going into my second year of uni but i really cannot imagine that happening. it’s not the eating part that scares me the most, because lately i’ve been eating more and more even if i don’t want to, but because i think i’m exhausted and have no energy anymore. what scares me more is that i’ve found comfort in this, and i feel lost whenever i don’t give into the “anorexic tendencies”. i am scared terrified of weight gain, and i feel like if i gain weight i will feel the need to lose it and more asap. i’m always mad at myself whether i’m eating or not eating. i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m lost, and i see no way out :(

I’ve been struggling with ED for as long as I can remember. In the last two years of recovery (or so I thought) I put on so much weight I couldn’t look in the mirror. I’ve lost it now but I am still not comfortable in my body.
Lately I’ve became completely alone and I only have my cat. I don’t cook. I don’t eat. I don’t buy food. I’ve been on self-prescribed semaglutide for months. I can’t afford it anymore bc my cat is sick and it’s either vet bills or me being skinny.
All I feel is hunger. All of the time. But I’m incapable of (or don’t want to) taking care of myself so I don’t have any food in my house except for cat kibble. I get so hungry I just need something to satiate this neverending hunger. And my cat doesn’t like her kibble, she has gotten used to her expensive one which I can’t afford.
So for the last four days we sit together in the kitchen and I just eat her kibble one by one every evening. This is my first food of the day. And honestly, I like it. I like the taste. I wish they made the same thing for humans. But I’m so ashamed to admit I’m so broke and anorexic I share the same food with my cat. Idk what it means but I can’t let anyone IRL know I do this.
So, people on the internet, do with this information whatever you want to. I eat cat kibble. And I enjoy it. Idk what to do.

i (13f) got discord after tiktok, obviously because i wanted to make online friends and stuff, and also to contact my bestfriend and cousin because they moved away. and obviously me making online friends.. i met the wrong guy, also he was around 14-15. and we got pretty close and stuff. so i remember one day him asking me if i really actually enjoyed him and i said yes and he told me if you really are my friend you'd send me nudes, and when i said nty he said ok ill just go cut myself, so i felt bad so i ended up sending him some stuff. and then he kept doing that over and over until it became a normal thing between us and everytime i told him no hed threaten to leak my photos n sstuff so i was basically forced to send him stuff, and hed always make rude remarks about how chubby I was and that I should lose some weight and that slowly pushed me into starving myself just to get his approval

I feel so dirty and disgusting. I can’t believe this happened!!! I have no idea how I’m going to clean it up especially because it’s the middle of the night and I can’t let anyone know I was purging. If having an eating disorder wasn’t embarrassing enough, now THIS?! I’m so angry with myself. I wish I could just disappear. Or at least want to undo the situation. I should have never eaten tonight. This must be God’s way of telling me I’m not worthy of food. 😢

I feel like what I could have is an ed but I don’t wanna assume and put myself in that category so I would like to ask a few questions but I don’t wanna ask the wrong things

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Am i in starvation mode? 18 male autistic 35kg 5ft8. Became restrictive after sufferring some illness likely hypertonic pelvic floor that caused constipation and out of fear i didnt have much but how bad is my risk of refeeding? i mostly just have huel and oatibix and recently had some oatcakes/oat biscuits abd baked crisps am i cooked with refeeding syndrome??? if i have yfood one day next morning would that also affect me? how do i have new things if the internet says refeeding will kill me if i make slightest change again???

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I am 19, 5 foot 9 (175 cm) and i weigh 117lbs (53kg) on average, depending on where I am in my cycle

I'm a new firefighter, and so the nature of my job is very physically taxing. When my mental health is good I go to the gym 5x a week. I'm allergic to wheat according to medical tests, and I'm pretty sure I have IBS or something similar because many foods make me extremely sick. I get lethargic, diarrhea, stomach pain, and cramping and it doesn't stop. I have gone weeks without eating wheat just to keep getting sick. Because of this i'm low on a lot of nutrients and so I take supplements. I'm also always dehydrated.

Because I have a very fast metabolism (runs in my family) and I've been chronically under-eating since I was a little kid, I have always struggled to gain weight. I also get sick (like, extremely so, think strep/COVID/flu) every four ish months, every time I manage to gain a little weight I lose it all and then some. Example; I was up to about 125 on average (cuz period cycles mess with weight) and got sick about two weeks ago and lost ten pounds within three days.

I very easily forget to eat, and end up not eating a lot. Sometimes i think of my calorie intake and find that I've eaten less than 1000 calories over the course of two days.

Now, you might be thinking (as most all of my family and friends do) that I just need to eat more.

Heres where my issues horribly collide. My diet is essentially restricted to eating different meats, potatoes, and rice (excluding fruits and veggies of course). Sometimes i can manage to eat tomato sauce or light spices but I'm usually restricted to salt and pepper. No garlic, no onion, no paprika, no strong spices. Most dairy products make me sick so I stick to Oatmilk and non-dairy butters. Cottage cheese for some reason tends to go down well. In any case, my extremely restrictive diet means eating is a chore. It makes me not want to eat. I used to cook all the time before I had these issues and now I just don't even know what to eat. I think about getting myself some food and I've been eating the same things for months on end and I hate it. Nothing sounds good, and I usually end up going "well I wont eat then" and going to bed. I feel totally stuck. I can't afford to get professional help - my monthly income right now is less than 2k and I barley make it paycheck to paycheck - I can't afford to buy more food, but my health can't afford for me to keep living this way.

Right now I'm trying to get a job at a cafe so the food options I have are better (right now I work at Mcdonalds full time so I can volunteer as a firefighter, and I can only eat the breakfast food al la carte there) since I can't afford to buy enough food for myself every paycheck even for the small amount of food I do eat. Once I get a job at a more edible food place that will be very helpful. But the majority of the time I'm just at a loss.

I can't ever really eat out with friends, I hate eating now. Thinking about it all makes me want to cry. And because my issues include allergies, I'm terrified I'll go into shock one of these days from eating foods I'm allergic to out of necessity.

feel free to ask follow up questions, but I'm mostly just ranting and wanting any and all advice you have for me. Everything feels so hopeless right now and I've been in an absolute slump for weeks.

My only idea is to maybe have my boyfriend remind me to eat and hold me accountable, but I don't want him to feel like a caretaker.

For aslong as i can remember, ive been eating paper, notebooks, lead, pencils , toilet paper, hair products, even my own nails. Just anything i can get my hands on! One thing especially i cannot stop the temptation is paper. I obviously googled this loong ago and i get results for pica/xylophagia. The thing is; ive opened up to this to my brother since i still live with my parents, and all he has done is call me weird, disgusting, and telling me "Just stop?" a bunch when its mentioned. I want to get a proper diagnosis or something so that I can get help because ive heard that long term what I do is very damaging to intestines.

I just dont know how to tell my parents I want to go to the doctor or talk to someone about it. I get embarrassed super fast and I feel like now asking for something like thqt isnt a good time since there's more important medical stuff going on - like surgery for my mother and my brother. I just dont know how to approach it because I think its getting extreme now. Ive blown through countless notebooks! Ive gone to target to buy notebooks just to eat the entire thing. Countless. Times. I do live with my parents and I am a minor, so I genuinely dont know what to do.

To sum it, how can I tell my parents i wanna go to a doctor because I eat inedible food? Its so embarrassing, ive been meaning to do it but I feel like its such a stupid thing. I want to care for my health, Im so freaked out wondering if I have blockages in my intestines.. I just dont know how to approach it.

Any help? I've tried all the tricks I'm still a gluttonous chud that can't stop eating junk. Please help me.

I'm a 28yo obese woman, and I've been obese my entire life, ever since I was a baby.

Being obese as a child, growing up in a country where everyone is very thin and obsessed with fitness, was an experience that shaped me deeply. My mom, who has always been thin, bullied me about my weight my whole life. She used to take diet pills and go on crazy diets to lose weight, even though she truly never needed to.

I also constantly heard hurtful words from my family when I was a kid. It didn't matter if I was the best student at school, if I was quiet, or if I was the kind of kid who never got into trouble. I was fat, and that was unacceptable.

So, my weight-loss journey started when I was five years old. I went to doctors, followed strict diets, and did sports. But nothing ever stuck. I'm an only child, and my parents had to work two or three jobs each so we could afford a comfortable life. I was fat, so I didn't have any friends. I was very lonely, and my only companions were TV and food.

As I grew up, everything became harder. I started eating even more, always hiding it from my parents, and gaining more and more weight. Eventually, I found a way to relieve some of the guilt: I started making myself throw up after eating.

I was around 9yo when I started doing this, and it continued until I was around 22.

When I was 11, I lost my dad, and that changed me profoundly. I always had a difficult relationship with my mother. She used to beat me for anything. Once, she punched me in the face so hard that I lost a tooth, and it was over something completely insignificant. She has always been a very angry person, and I was her punching bag.

Meanwhile, my dad truly loved me, and I could feel it. He was my best friend, and I still struggle with losing him to this day.

I fell into depression and started seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression and bulimia. My treatment has continued to this day, but I'm still fat.

I kept overeating, making myself throw up, and exercising excessively, but I never got thin. I did lose weight at times, but I always gained it everything back and then some.

Eventually, at 25, I reached 187 kg (412 lbs) at 165 cm (5'4"). I decided to have bariatric surgery. I lost a lot of weight afterward, but I eventually regained some of it.

Nowadays, I weigh 143 kg (315 lbs), and I don't want to go outside. I feel so ugly and ashamed. I feel like I'm too old to still be feeling and behaving this way, but I just feel sad and desperate.

I know it's my fault. I know exactly what I need to do to change but truly I just want to stay in bed, cry, and eat because it's the only thing that gives me comfort.

I have a boyfriend who is really fit and goes to the gym every day. I have friends, and they're all skinny and pretty, and then there's me.

I just feel so hopeless because I really have tried everything. Every diet, every nutritional re-education program. I even went to university and studied nutrition. I know what I'm supposed to do. So what's holding me back?

I just can't take it anymore. I've spent my whole life putting everything on pause because I'm fat, and I feel like I'm wasting every single minute of my life.

So, my dear ex-fat readers, how do I change that?

I haven't actually done this. I have a very healthy diet regiment I have to maintain under doctor's care, but the list of foods I am allowed to have is VERY VERY small. It has resulted in me messing up and eating something I shouldn't and having a hard time getting back on track. Like say I wanted some pizza but had eaten all that I was supposed to for the day, was craving pizza so bad. Would the chew and spit thing for taste be OK once in a great while? Or is that like slippery slope to eating disorder? Or is that just eating disorder right off the bat? I could never bring myself to eat and throw up, which is bad for the body on so many levels.

Trying to figure out how to get taste without the calories if I am having a craving issue for like over a day. My body ridiculously overreaponds to eating the wrong thing. One single eating mistake can meant 2 weeks of trying to get my prior weight back. Cheat meals are not an option on my plan. Is there a healthier way to get the taste of something when cravings are so bad that don't lead to many days of struggling with restraint?

Highest weight: 412.8 Current weight: 317.7