AITA for how I reacted to the birthday gift my Boyfriend got me?
using a throwaway, my brothers know my reddit and I don't want them upset by this.
I celebrated my 27th birthday yesterday and had a small get together with my friends and boyfriend 28M. I plan to go visit my parents and brother today for the weekend as it's a bit of a journey.
I was having fun with everyone, we had drinks, music, played some boardgames, all in all a great night. Then it was time for the gifts to be given. I loved the gifts from my friends but when it came to my boyfriends gift I found he'd gotten me an AncestryDNA kit. He said he thought i'd like this as I can find out about my "real" family.
For context, i'm adopted. I was adopted by my parents when I was 2 years old after being their foster child since I was 3 weeks old, I have no knowledge of my biological family and I never felt any pressing need to learn about them, as far as i'm concerned they're my family. I have two brothers, 32M and 29M, they are their biological sons but they have never treated me any differently from their biological children.
I asked my boyfriend what he was playing at, and why he'd think this is an ok gift to give me as he knows how I feel about this topic. He told me that he knew better and that was just something I said, he was of the opinion I just didn't want to hurt my parents and brother, and they didn't need to know as it was just us here with my friends and he knew deep down I must want this. My friends were kind of awkward about this and didn't know what to say.
I got angry, told him he didn't know my own mind better than I knew it, and I'll be honest I got a bit rude here as I was just so upset and taken aback by this, I told him to ram his gift (slang term for all you Americans, basically a more polite version of "shove it up your arse"). He said I was being unreasonable and ruining a perfectly good party because I couldn't accept he just "wanted to help". I told him to leave my home as I couldn't deal with him or this right now.
After he left most of my friends were upset that he had done this and felt this was in any way ok, but two of my friends were of the opinion i'd overreacted and he was just being dumb but it wasn't in a bad way. He has messaged me saying he doesn't get what the big deal was and I don't need to use it if I don't want to, but he is still insisting he felt i'd regret not knowing.
I don't know how to feel about this and I worry about driving to see my family with my head all messed up over this as they know me too well and will see something is wrong, am I the asshole here?