u/DVecchi

Jumbo meatballs with onion and bell pepper (first time using silicone molds… mixed feelings: easier to unmold, but I’m not convinced about the texture).

Note: I had to delete it and repost it because my best friend told me it wasn’t showing up and she wanted to know how I “described my date.” I probably didn’t do it properly. Either way, I didn’t change anything, so it’s exactly what I wrote in the middle of the night.

Ok. I’m writing this because I just got home from what was probably the best not-date date I’ve ever had, and at the same time one of the clearest reminders that my ex is basically the definition of a toxic person.

For context: we were together for 8 months. She wasn’t the love of my life, and as she made very clear, I definitely wasn’t hers either. When we broke up, instead of saying we weren’t compatible, that we barely communicated, that she didn’t see a future with me, or simply that I wasn’t the right person for her, she made it very clear that I simply wasn’t enough to make her happy. I didn’t have a good job, didn’t make enough money, couldn’t give her the lifestyle she deserved, had nothing to my name, and lacked ambition. That was basically the summary. Of course, she was perfect and I was the problem.

We went our separate ways, but we still crossed paths often because she works at the place where I buy tools and replacement parts for my business, which she used to laugh at because, to her, it was insignificant.

Even though we didn’t end in a screaming fight, more like her giving a monologue, she decided to completely stop acknowledging my existence. For an entire year, I could literally stand next to her and she would act as if I was invisible. Honestly, that was fine by me. It’s not like I was dying to talk to her, but I would have had no problem keeping things civil if she had wanted that. Everything stayed that way until a few weeks ago.

I made a post because I had one of the best days of my life: I bought my house. My best friend, her husband, her brothers-in-law, my sister, and I spent several days fixing the place.

At one point, we all went to the store where my ex works. I needed supplies, my best friend’s relatives wanted things for the kitchen remodel (which turned out amazing, I have to say), and the others were looking for house stuff.

While I was sitting at a table doing measurements and calculations with my best friend and niece, my ex suddenly walked over to greet us and start a conversation, clearly intending to stay there talking.

Then my sister showed up after being with the others choosing paint colors for the cabinets, and for some reason my ex immediately started making comments toward her. Honestly, I think she was jealous because my sister had arrived accompanied by men who clearly looked well-off, but regardless, there was no reason to try to humiliate her, especially knowing everything my sister has been going through after her divorce and with her mental health. Seeing the effect those comments had on my sister was enough for me to not want that woman anywhere near my life again.

My best friend stepped in immediately and called her out, which embarrassed her in front of everyone, and she disappeared after that.After that awkward moment, my friend, niece, and sister decided to head early to the place where we were planning to eat afterward. It’s a café/restaurant I’ve been going to for a long time, and I had often noticed a young woman there. She never really served customers directly, she was usually moving between the kitchen and the counter, so we had never interacted much.

This time, though, when we arrived, I found her talking with my sister and my friend, who introduced her to the rest of us. Throughout the evening she kept coming over to talk to my friend because they both specialize in baking and pastry and she even brought special food out for my niece. After that, I started seeing her more often at the café. We’d greet each other, but it was always crowded during the hours I could go.

Today, though, I randomly ran into her at the store while buying supplies. I greeted her, helped her find what she needed to repair her stove burners, and offered to replace them for her since she had never done it before.

We ended up spending almost two hours together in the store because she decided to stay and keep me company while I finished shopping. We talked the entire time. She called and greeted my sister and my best friend too, which is how I found out they had apparently exchanged phone numbers already. I’m definitely asking questions about that tomorrow.

Afterward we went to her house, where I met her mother and sister. While I was in the middle of fixing the burners, my phone started exploding with messages. Because of my sister, I usually never ignore repeated calls or texts, so I asked her to read them to me while my hands were busy.

After reading them, she laughed awkwardly and said: I think I’m probably the last person who should be reading these.

When I asked what she meant, she finally held my phone in front of me. Apparently my ex had seen us together.

She started sending messages about how inappropriate it was for me to show up there showing off my conquests in front of her. She said that at least the other one from last time had been good looking, but this girl was plain and even fat. Then she went on about how now that I owned a nice property and was apparently doing well financially, I needed to raise my standards (a mutual acquaintance told her about the house. Over the past year she knew I had a job, she saw what I was buying, and I never stopped working.) According to her, relationships were about balance, and now that I supposedly actually had something to offer, I was settling.

I honestly couldn’t believe the things she was writing. So I gave her exactly the amount of attention she deserved. None.

Instead, I focused on clarifying the situation because now the genuinely beautiful woman sitting next to me looked offended and embarrassed and probably thought I was involved in some kind of ongoing drama after I had told her earlier that I was single, just like she was. So I explained that my ex and I had had no contact for over a year, that I had absolutely no interest in reconnecting, and that nothing she said about her was true, except for the part where I wanted to keep getting to know her.

Then this woman earned about a million points in my mind when she answered: I want that too, but I’m not going to do it if you’re seeing multiple people. If we don’t work out, then we move on. But I don’t want to become your Wednesday night option because the rest of your week is reserved for someone else.

As you can probably imagine, hearing that made me happier than I can explain. Not because I judge anyone, but because I’m at a stage in my life where I don’t want doubts, games, or headaches anymore. I already experienced everything I wanted to experience. Now I just want peace. And I think she was happy too, because while I finished repairing the stove, she started preparing food trays for everyone. Then she asked if I wanted to stay and keep her company while she prepared a catering order for tomorrow so we could continue talking.

So here I am now, home half an hour ago after what I’m definitely considering a date, because I had an incredible time. I got to learn more about her, watch how she interacts with her family, and spend hours talking naturally.

She made snacks, dinner, dessert, packed containers full of food for me to take home and invited me to go with her tomorrow to a local market if I’m available (of course I am)

As for my ex? I sent her a picture of us eating brownies together as my response, because even though I have no idea what will happen in the future with this woman, and I really hope there is a future, I do know one thing for sure, my ex and people like her, are not something I want in my life anymore.

In the image, what I’m going to eat while I get ahead on work so I can be free tomorrow. Pure protein because I had pasta, brownies, and cookies.

After months of a negotiation that, more than once, made me think it would never go through, today I finally became a homeowner. For many people it might not be a big deal, but for me it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

And just when I thought nothing could top the feeling of holding the keys, my sister showed up with my best friend, the one I met online, and it was the first time we met in person. She brought her husband and two brothers in law to help with whatever was needed. She even brought a bottle, because I told her that when she came to see the house, that’s when we’d do the kind of toast people do, since I didn’t have anyone to share that with. She also brought things for the house.

What I thought would take me days, we managed to do together today, and tomorrow we’re going to get some paint for the walls and renovate the bathrooms and the kitchen, plus a few things for the garden. I didn’t know what to think about her relatives at first, but even though they all have college degrees and everything, they enjoy fixing things just like I do.

They’ll be staying a couple of days before heading off to a wedding. The fact that she delayed her plans just to be here with me today means the world to me. At the beginning of last year, I would have never thought any of this was possible, and for many people, I’m not even in my best moment. I have almost no savings left; I had to sell things to cover last-minute expenses. I don’t have a partner or kids. But I’m happy.

I have a house with two bedrooms and two bathrooms, in my name.

In the picture: My friend taught me how to make “pan dulce” for tomorrow’s breakfast, and she also made these ham and cheese pastries for us to snack on while we talked.

P.S.: I made a few mistakes while posting, it's my first time, and I had to recreate the post.