u/DaftMythic

So this woman wants me to commit to fuck her "to the moon and back". I am very eager to oblige, but I have a few questions.

For this calculation let us assume that we do not require space suits or, somehow, we are sharing a space suit and she has no interest in external propulsion provided by a ship, only what I can provide given the "emotion of the motion". Or to keep it even simpler she has some sort of magic powers so that we can exist and "get down" in the vaccume of space (recognizing that down may lose it's meaning up there) without major biological complications. She has already figured out some amazing ways to get the deed done on earth in almost all biomes and weather conditions so I am not to worried about this part.

I am not sure the practically of getting out of earth's orbit simply by fucking, but perhaps an initial ejection method may work? I also don't know if the thrusting mechanics are part of the propultion method she has in mind to reach the moon, or all she has in mind that it is like "laying rail" so a simple "Thrust to distance traveled" calculation may be all that is required?

But my more pressing concern is, how many times are we going to fuck on the way to the moon and back? Can that be achieved in a single human lifetime or am I signing up for a multi lifetime contract to help make this journey happen?

As relates to reincarnation and other metaphysical elements of this equation, she is mixed race and has access from her family to Muslim and Hindu traditions, but some of her family was displaced from near Tibet so they may have access to other ancient Chinese magic I am unsure about as I understand those sciences have been suppressed by recent authorities. However the only concern I can imagine at the moment is her monthly needs, eg having to pause for Ramadan (though she is not a 100% regular on this and if it helps make the math easier we can avoid the bloody minor details of esoteric lunar calendars, I like raw estimates, and she usually insists on them.)

As to extra mass on the fucking journey to the moon: We know we will be having no more children (not going to get into that for HIPAA reasons, but trust me) so don't need to concern yourself with that part of the equation as relates to miraculous new weight expanding the mass calculations unpredictability.

Anyway, I am more interested in the physics and math that we have from real data. R/fifthworldproblems already provided me legal council but they said that mathematics that is likely to apply in this specific frame of reference of Space and Time should be directed here to r/theydidthemath. They had infinite wisdom on their side and said "Fuckin' go for it" but suggested these simple equations should not take an Einstein to figure out.

So as relates to the data I have from our Earth Prime: It helps that I am actually from North America and we can use that as a launch point (unless you advise that the forces involved in say an initial ejection method could be dangerous, in which case her family has offered some area in more remote parts out by the equator in the ocean, specifically about 7° South of the equator.)

All metrics can be used in standard imperial (North American as I said) metrics. For instance my foot is only slightly larger than the standard English foot I've encountered (based on shoe sizes I've had to fit into traveling in the Common Wealth), that is to say 11 and 1/2 inches (29.21 cm) by ruler but often it is hard to find shoes that are wide enough. I don't think that matters but I have read Gulliver's travels so I don't think using the Lilliputian method of estimating all relevant body sizes based on my thumb will work.

I will say I am a bit on the heafty side, so like family guy I may exert my own gravitational field. But she is quite small so it evens out.

So for all necessary measurements let us use Americans and Canadian averages and public data (since obviously only Americans and Canadians have ever been to the moon and back as of 2026). This will also make the results more applicable to others that wish to try to run the experiment.

I assume an orbit is good enough for her, let us not complicate it with landing and another spectacular launch from the moon, though she has said some things about how the moon is "made of honey, honey", i don't want to get into those sticky parts of the equations.

Let's just stick to standard sizes, ratios and other requirements to understand the engineering implications. No need to speculate how other countries (at the moment totally theoretical) designs and standard measurements may approach the problem, if their space agencies and other bodies are even equipped for such a fucking journey.

However as is specific to her and I if our rough body sizes are needed to calculate reaction propulsion via ejecting material, I am 6 feet tall. She is 4 and 1/2 feet. As mentioned we have studied ancient Indian texts on and practiced almost every possible configuration of the two bodies in anticipation of this, but that research was based on hobby level interest into containing the reaction in fun and interesting ways given constraints on Earth. I am open to advice on new morphologies that could be more efficient and provide better thrust given the extra degrees of freedom and long duration of the journey. Since we are essentially eachother's space ships and in space no one can hear you scream I think we should prefer morphologies where I can see her eyes as windows into the soul-ar systems involved in this mission, we read eachothers eyes like HUDs for critical information about how things are going, but our body language is pretty good so we can break eye contact occasionally as needed for critical maneuvers.

As to rates: The most we have ever been able to generate the necessary chemistry and friction was 6 times in one day, but I am getting older (and as I said I am not sure if this will require multiple lifetimes) so feel free to abstract that part out or use typical averages. Like I said, safety first, I have boldly gone to almost all of this space before just using primal human instinct, but not while actually IN SPACE, so want to make sure I get this right with cold Vulcan Logic.

Part of the concern is making sure our signals and couplings are in order for all locations and jurisdictions that may be affected given the length of the journey and how things may have changed by the time we return. At the moment she wears a sindor but does cover her arm tattos which I think is more like a redundant tail N-number (Orbital Vehicle) alpha numeric in case we accidentally touch down in a different location or dimension than we anticipated. I must say when we did some test runs of contact between the two bodies in question the results were out of this word and we didn't have a third party present to verify much of the data. Seemed like there was a lot of missing time (time went by in a flash). But she did say she wants to RETURN to earth, not fucked into Oblivion, so need to account for that. Anyway, before I accept her Nikah (if she chooses to give up the Sindor and use that as a launch signal for permission to go, unless she feels that redundancy is necessary) and I begin my T-minus to countdown I want to make sure the o-ring couplings are all in order and will still be able to be recommitted to after the touchdown ceremony.

Personally I don't think I need to pack anything more than what looks like smart ring on my finger so that telemetry can be sent back to ground control to make sure that heart rates and other biological functions stay within tolerance.

And you know, for fucking science.

I am thinking about situations where like a single figure finds themselves in a courtroom drama that spans multiple fronts. Like say an immigration/family matter that is happening in two countries and/or a film documentary/YouTuber about someone that finds itself in hot water when the person/case they are following suddenly ends up in legal issues? The person fighting the case and the production company documenting the case my have slightly different legal interests or they may be using the publicity PR as part of their strategy, no?

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Sometimes they are being attacked on multiple fronts, or they are trying to deal with an issue that affects multiple jurisdictions in civil or eventual class action suits. I assume in the cases of people who are already major celebrities this can be happening simultaneously.

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Companies, I've heard, have in house council that then hires out specialists. Issue Advocacy groups, like a Environmental group or a Defenders of Constitution group or whatever, too, I assume have an in house council who advises on getting others to help?

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In the case of an individual they, I assume, have a personal/Family lawyer who they go to that gets the ball rolling. But at some point...?

Company/Advocacy/Indivuduals may be told they need specialist(s) to push the case, or they become a cause celeb and perhaps charity, pro-bono volunteers, or other money comes in like donations or a benefactor who wants the case to go a certain way but only if their lawyer is used.

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Can anyone speak to how legal teams like this get formed? And once they do how does the pecking order of "lead council" get chosen, or like who does what if things are happening in multiple jurisdictions? Or is this not a real situation that I am imagining from watching too many movies?