im scared to tell anyone
i've been feeling depressed since the start of 2026. idk why, maybe it's because of my pills (for PCOS). at first i downplayed it and ignored it, until it escalated i had passive suicidal ideation and around mid march i started sh — until now. i specifically chose to use an eyebrow razor to scratch my thighs so the scratches would be shallow. i hate pain, but i found relief when i sh. i do this like everytime i feel overwhelmed by my thoughts and i feel like im stuck in this stupid cycle. one day im doing good, then suddenly im breaking down like crazy. i never told anyone about this, not even my closest friends, not my parents, no one. im scared of what they might think if i told them because tbh nothings wrong with me — my family's stable, good grades, great circle of friends, i also look totally fine like my family sees me as a happy person. so even if this is probably caused by my pills, im still scared to tell anyone. ive never been open about my feelings, because the last time i broke down in front of my parents due to overwhelming emotions, they told me to stop crying and im too sensitive. so never again. i also have good friends, im used to listening to them open up, i know theyre willing to listen to me too but for some reason its really hard for me to do so. i know im very bad at expressing my emotions but its getting more and more overwhelming, sh is getting more frequent and im getting scared.
(excuse my bad grammar lol, eng isnt my first language)