u/Dalek7

I’m not sure whether I’m looking for a religion at all, but from what I’ve encountered so far, this seems closest to the truths I’ve come to through my own experiences.

I’d really appreciate some insight into a dream I had. In it, there were two versions of me. One was meditating in pursuit of power, while the other was meditating to deepen a relationship with Creation, Shiva, Source, or whatever name you prefer. Neither one felt inherently wrong.

Lately, I’ve also been experiencing a strong buzzing or energetic sensation throughout my body. Even after I eat, it intensifies and sometimes if not most of the time I hear loud tones in my head that change pitch.

In another experience, I was shown that my heart was my true treasure. It was filled with gold, jewels, and kingly crowns decorated with serpent imagery. In a separate dream, I appeared as half man and half serpent, with a human upper body and a serpent lower body.

Part of me wonders whether seeking power through meditation is wrong, and whether I should instead focus on loving and connecting with the “true me”.. Creation, Shiva, Source, or however it might be understood within this tradition.

I’d be grateful for thoughts from people who are more familiar with this religion or spiritual path, especially regarding the symbolism of the serpent, the heart, and the two forms of meditation. This is all very new to me, and I’m still figuring out whether I consider myself religious at all.

Won’t go into great detail, but I was an atheist, did mushrooms, and now I am spiritual.

I met this “being” in a vision who appeared as an octopus that was as big as, or bigger than, our universe(It made a point to show me). It seemed arrogant or proud when it sensed my fear. It also tried to show me it “carried” our universe.

I’ve also had this "remembering" of being God(No actual remembering, just the feeling) but somehow it felt like, Oh yeah, I AM God(for a brief moment). A thought appeared that I was everything, including people I’ve met, like somehow we are all part of the same source, and this is like a dream or "Gods" dream, which is just creation itself.

The next few months, I felt this power and love/peace but I also kept feeling proud and powerful, and special. Then I felt like that being I met. It seemed to be a Maya/Leviathan mix, which made me think of the demiurge. But it feels like my “shadow” is this being. Like it was us who forgot we are divine, and the ego or subconscious in us is the demiurge?

At first, I thought this being was my enemy or prison guard, but now I’m thinking maybe somehow it is me/us? Could our thoughts also come from this “internal” being? I also don’t think it has a real “form.” I think it just changes depending on the person, so we can “communicate” with it.

Just curious what other think.