u/Dallezz

i’ve had these thoughts for as long as i remember. i was raised to be christian but honestly even as a kid i remember thinking religion was just there to help people accept death. it seems so man made to me, there are thousands of gods and yet we have no evidence of any. and what makes people so sure that they chose the right one to worship? it usually just comes down to where you were born. i think what most likely happens after we die is we go back to the state we were in before we were born. it kinda makes everything seem so pointless, why should i lead a life i don’t like if at the end i still die? it seems to me like we are here for nothing, just existing to exist. so what’s the point of even living? i’m so scared of dying and yet i can’t escape it. i don’t want to not exist and i don’t want my family to have to do it either. i get filled with so much panic throughout the day thinking about something no one can escape, and it makes me wonder why no one around me feels the same way. i don’t want to talk to anyone around me about this because it seems to me like they’re doing fine without thinking about it. the thought of not existing is so terrifying that often i find myself wishing i had never experienced existence. i would have nothing to lose if i was never born. it’s so hard to even live without thinking about how pointless my efforts are. no matter what i do it’s impossible to escape. how do people actually accept this? how do i get over the fact that i won’t be here forever? the only thought that kinda comforts me is thinking that it’s something everyone has to do. and the people i want to live for won’t be here forever so at least i can join them in nonexistence.