Moving in together, now or later? Opinions and experiences welcomed! F30 M31
Any couples who've made it work in a small apartment, or alternatively waited for a bit longer before moving in together?
My partner of 9 months is moving to my city for work, which is very exciting after being in a long distance relationship for all of this time. We have spent a relatively lot of time together, weeks at both of our places together, and are very comfortable with each other. I currently live in a one-bedroom apartment and for financial reasons, the only viable option to live together would be him moving in with me. The other option would be me keeping my apartment and him finding his own apartment somewhere close to his work and my place.
As I've previously lived together with a partner in a one-bedroom apartment, I've said I never want to live in such a small space with another person. I sleep badly next to anyone and would prefer to have separate bedrooms. I've lived here for over 5 years so it's clearly "my place" and I'm kind of worried if he'd ever feel like home, or if I'd feel truly happy sharing a space where I've lived alone having my own ways of doing things for along time. It would definitely be the best for us to start from scratch in a completely new, bigger apartment but unfortunately I am stuck financially with this apartment. We have both been single for most of our twenties, and both lived alone for over 5 years, so it would anyways be a big adjustment to our daily routines.
Still I now feel like I want to make an exception for him and live together here! We would save so much money and it would be temporary, not for the rest of our lives. Maybe it would go great? But what if not?
We plan on starting a family in 3-5 years, and hopefully then we'd be in a financial situation where we could afford a new bigger place. If we would not move in together now, it would probably be at least one or two more years until we could try living together. So in that sense it feels wrong to not use this opportunity and keep waiting for that long. In our friendgroup, most people have moved in with their partners after 3-6months of dating, so I already feel like we are taking things "too slow" haha.
Personally I am always rooting for unconventional relationship decisions and not going by the "rules" of traditional relationship, but it's surprisingly difficult to actually figure out what is right for you when everything around you points towards moving in together! So I'd really appreciate your viewpoints and experiences, especially dating at your early thirties, wanting a family and still not "rushing" moving in together - or alternatively if you felt a bit hesitant first but everything worked out great!