What I've learned about one-on-one conversations
At first, I found it hard to have one-on-one conversations. I’d just wing it, forget what we’d talked about last time, and wonder why people kept canceling.
A few things have actually made a difference over the years:
I don’t start with projects. I start with the person. How are things going? What’s happening in their life right now? And I write that down after every conversation so I can follow up on it next time - how the kids are doing in school, what someone is currently struggling with. That’s not small talk; that’s how you actually get to know someone. And the only reason I can do that consistently is that I write it down. If I relied on my memory, I’d forget half of it.
Only then do I bring up projects. Sometimes we don’t even have to talk about work because everything is going according to plan. But I still hold the meeting - because the person matters to me, not just their performance.
I always read through the notes from the last meeting before I go in. Two minutes of preparation. There’s nothing worse than when someone says, “We discussed that last time,” and you can’t remember it at all.
And I never cancel - I reschedule the appointment. Canceling means, “You’re not a priority.” Rescheduling means, “I value this, just not right now.” A big difference.
What’s your best tip for one-on-one meetings?